He Suohuan, a writer of sexual affective psychology, writes love stories, interesting strangers, and material knowledge.
All relationships end, break down, and have a "gradual" process.
There is never a relationship that ends suddenly, and even if there is, it is a long warning, but you don't notice it.
When you notice it, the other person has left you.
Like what:
The end of a friendship is often not that the other party suddenly deletes and blocks you, but that the other party first behaves perfunctory, then indifference, and finally does not respond to you.
When you disconnect from each other for a while, the relationship naturally ends.
The same is true in love.
The other person does not love you, and there must be some omen before leaving you.
-01
You can't be your "true self" in front of the other person
What are the characteristics of true love?
It is you who can show your truest side in front of the other person.
Even if you are real, there are some shortcomings, bad temper, and not doing things well.
When the other person loves you, they don't care about it at all.
You don't need to pretend, you don't need to wear a mask, because when he loves you, he will also love all the flaws in you.
Conversely, what is the state when he doesn't love you?
Pick a prick.
That's right, it's a thorn.
No matter what you do, what you say, even those things in you that once seemed good to him become weaknesses.
In short, he has a lot of dissatisfaction with you.
See a sentence:
"When a person doesn't love you, you even breathe wrong."
To love or not to love, in a single thought;
To love or not to love is also a change in his attitude towards you.
-02
Your relationship has become a "one-way pattern"
What does that mean?
Simply put:
In your love, giving, love, and emotions are all your initiative to output to each other.
You give a lot, but he is not willing to give you timely feedback, or even give you the same level of feedback.
Giving is not reciprocated, true love is always perfunctory;
The initiative is not cherished, and true love becomes a burden.
Your relationship seems to have become a "one-way channel".
Only you walk towards Him, and He does not want to come to you.
What will become of your relationship in the end?
You walk towards him, and he retreats;
You run, and find that you can't catch up with his escape.
When the two-way relationship pattern becomes one-way, it means that your relationship has come to an end.
-03
People who don't love are the best at "cold violence"
Psychology divides violence between partners into these modes:
Physical violence, verbal violence, cold violence, sexual violence.
The most easily overlooked relationship is "cold violence".
When you become aware that your partner's attitude towards you is becoming more perfunctory and cold.
At this time, you should consider that he may be using cold violence against you.
Some specific manifestations are:
You send him a lot of messages, and he responds to you depending on the mood.
You ask him what he's up to, and he doesn't give you any response.
You pay for him, and he is reluctant to accept it; Even if you accept, you won't show surprise or gratitude as before.
Cold violence, which also includes "reduced desire to share".
He'd rather chat with friends, play games, excuse himself to work overtime at work, go out to eat and drink with friends, than spend time on you.
You can even feel as if there is a transparent wall between you.
"You're sitting next to me, but I feel like you're out of reach," that's the state.
-04
Instead of getting better, you're getting worse
It is often said:
When you meet true love, you will become better and better, and every day will be full of passion and confidence.
That's true.
True love often brings a lot of strength, energy and passion.
As long as you are with true love, you feel very motivated every day, and you want to work harder to make your relationship better and better.
And if the other person doesn't love you, it's just the opposite.
You are always in a state of "mental internal attrition".
First of all, your emotions:
Anxiety, restlessness, irritability.
Falling in love with each other not only makes you lose your free, cheerful and optimistic personality, but also makes you become anxious, suffer from gains and losses, and compromise with low self-esteem.
Second is your life:
Before falling in love, your life was very full and rich, and you had many friends around you.
After falling in love, you give up a lot of things and things that you love because of the other person.
Sensing that the other person doesn't love you anymore, that's when you realize that your life is a mess.
Finally, your career and wallet:
You find that in your relationship, it has always been you who give more.
Whether materially, mentally or otherwise, it is the cost you put in more.
It is also because "sunk costs too much", so even if you perceive that the other party does not love you, you are reluctant to leave.
Why?
Because you are unwilling in your heart.
Your career is a mess because you put all your energy into loving each other;
Your savings are getting smaller and smaller because you have given a lot of material things for the other person.
But in the end? You don't get anything.
All love disappears, there is a foreshadowing;
The other person intends to leave you and will gradually make no disguise.
From dodging and evasion at the beginning, to later impatience, not hiding and alienating you.
In any case, don't put all your money into a relationship, learn to leave yourself some hole cards.
Today's Topic:
Can you notice when love disappears?
(Article with picture source network)