In the TV series "Kangxi Dynasty", there is a passage that makes people sigh infinitely:
Xiao Zhuang ordered That Su Ma Lama be given to Kangxi as a concubine. On the wedding day, Su Ma locked herself in her room and refused to come out. It wasn't until Xiaozhuang came to the door that Su Ma opened the door. The scene inside the door made Xiaozhuang very angry.
Seeing that Su Ma was wearing a shawl and cutting off a large section of her hair on the left side, she knelt on the ground, describing her sorrow, and begged Xiaozhuang to allow her to become a nun.
Xiao Zhuang originally thought that letting Su Ma be Kangxi's concubine was a gift to Su Ma, and Su Ma should be ecstatic and grateful to her. However, Su Ma did not know how to lift, and still made such a scene on the wedding day, where did the royal face lie?
Xiao Zhuang was most afraid of seeing people fall out of their hair, because her son Emperor Shunzhi had insisted on leaving the family, ignoring it, and throwing a mess to her to clean up. Nowadays, Su Ma, who is not a granddaughter but is better than a granddaughter, has also made such a scene, and Xiao zhuang does not mention how sad and disappointed he is.
And Su Ma also knew that her resistance to the will would hurt the hearts of Xiaozhuang and Kangxi, and she herself had only one way to die. But she would rather die than be an imperial concubine, why?
Can't let go of your sweetheart? It's not that simple.
1. Su Ma and his sweetheart Wu Ciyou
When Su Ma was a child, her parents and brother died because of smallpox, leaving her alone. She was forced to come to the palace as a maid.
One day, when she saw Xiaozhuang, she shouted, "Mother-in-law, mother-in-law!" ”
Xiao Zhuang had never heard anyone call her so affectionately, so he left Su Ma by his side.
At that time, Shunzhi was still in power, and Xuan Ye was only 8 years old. Su Ma was a few years older than Xuan Ye, and Xiao Zhuang asked her to serve Xuan Ye and love Xuan Ye as a younger brother, but at the same time to respect him as a master.
Su Ma took it to heart, and later saw that Xuan Ye was infected with smallpox, and she risked her life to send herbs, so that Xuan Ye could survive and inherit the throne and become the Kangxi Emperor.
Su Ma and Kangxi grew up together and lived together day and night, but she obeyed Xiao Zhuang's will and never dared to cross the Thunder Pond.
When Kangxi was 16 years old, he was bent on getting rid of Aobai. But Ao Bai was so powerful that he was helpless for a while. By chance, she heard about Wu Ciyou on the street, so she hid her identity to meet with Wu Ciyou, and the two met and hated each other late, and every time they talked happily.
Wu Ciyou's unique insights inspired Kangxi in the matter of removing Ao bai.
Since Su Ma first went with Kangxi to meet Wu Ciyou, he liked this downcast student. At that time, Kangxi called himself a dragon and talked freely with Wu Ciyou in the tea house. Su Ma was waiting for tea next to her, and Wu Ciyou looked at her, and her hands were shaking with nervousness.
Wu Ciyou is handsome and elegant, talented, Su Ma is dignified and gentle, and Hui Zhi Lanxin, they are simply a pair made in heaven. What is even more rare is that they fell in love at first sight and shared their hearts.
Kangxi saw that he had always liked Su Ma, but he also admired Wu Ciyou's talent, and Wu Ciyou had meritorious service in the matter of removing Ao bai. Kangxi offered to fulfill Wu Ciyou's wish, whether he wanted something or people.
Su Ma thought this was a rare opportunity, but Wu Ciyou did not ask Kangxi for her, but left alone.
"Why don't you ask the emperor for me?"
Su Ma Lagu trotted all the way to catch up with the scholar Wu Ciyou and asked sadly.
Wu Ciyou replied: "Long Er said, I can't see his true face of Tianzi, he said it wrong." Although I didn't see that he was the emperor, I already saw that he liked you. ”
Su Ma couldn't believe it: "You nonsense, the empress dowager has already issued a strict decree, only allowing me to treat the emperor as the master and a younger brother, and not allowing me to have any unequal thoughts." ”
Wu Ciyou said helplessly, "But he really doesn't want you." Su Ma, if he is just a dragon, I dare to compete with him for you, but he is the emperor, I dare not fight. The emperor is also a human being, and he will repay his favors, even if he lets us go now, there will still be no peace in the future. Su Ma, countless sentient things in heaven and earth, the world is full of helpless people. If my Wu Ciyou has an afterlife, you and I will meet again! ”
When they first met, Wu Ciyou was like a moonlight, with endless brilliance. Su Ma became radiant and feminine and affectionate under his illumination. However, Wu Ciyou left alone, and Su Ma's heart also died.
I can only sigh one sentence: there are countless sentient things in heaven and earth, and the world is full of helpless people.
2. Su Ma risked death to resist the will and refused to be the imperial concubine
Xiaozhuang saw that Kangxi liked Su Ma, so he ordered Su Ma to be given to Kangxi as a concubine. Upon hearing this news, Kangxi was full of joy, but Su Ma's heart was like ashes.
Seeing Su Ma's appearance, Kangxi said unhappily: "Do you still have Wu Ciyou in mind, do you still want to wait for him for a lifetime?" ”
Su Ma shook his head helplessly and said, "Su Ma liked Mr. Wu, but he left, and the slave's heart was dead, Su Ma did not marry anyone in this life, let alone be a noble concubine, Su Ma only wanted to be a palace maid in peace and security, and honestly serve the emperor." ”
Kangxi was so anxious that he didn't know what to do, so he asked Wei Dongting to persuade Su Ma. Wei Dongting was once Kangxi's companion, and he was the closest person to Su Madu Kangxi.
Su Ma told Wei Dongting the truth: "I don't have any grudges with Mr. Wu anymore, the reason why I don't want to be a concubine is because I have seen enough of the bitterness of concubines, these bridesmaids, on the surface, are honorable and beautiful, but in the interior, you calculate me, I calculate you, in order to keep my position, in my dreams are competing for favors, I am really afraid of living this kind of life."
I just want to be a palace girl, besides, the emperor is the emperor of the world, not his own man, the concubines are only used to pass on the generations, if the emperor likes you to come to see you, if you don't like it, you will put it aside, once the holy family declines, even the eunuchs look down on you. The emperor treated us both as a favor, but in order to keep the throne, he did everything, and when he destroyed Ao bai, didn't he even spy on you? You grew up with him. ”
Su Ma was sober, others only envied Niangniang's honor and scenery, only she saw Niangniang's pity; others only envied the glory of the palace, only she saw the decay and dirt hidden in the palace.
She said to Wei Dongting, "The people in my Su Ma clan are dead, I Su Ma is the whole clan, now the old ancestor wants to kill, let her kill, Su Ma Lagu would rather die than admit his fate!" ”
She was so resolute, so fearless in life and death.
Xiao Zhuang really wanted to kill her, but in the end he softened his heart and built a Tianxin Nunnery for her in the palace to let her bring her hair to practice.
In fact, xiaozhuang did this, but also gave her the opportunity to change her mind, she can regret it at any time. However, Su Ma went all the way to the black.
3. Su Ma's unspoken love for Kangxi
Although Su Ma was practicing with hair, he was still serving by Kangxi's side.
Kangxi went out on tour with no concubines, but rather Su Ma. Only when Su Ma was accompanied, Xiao Zhuang was relieved and Kangxi was comfortable.
It wasn't until Kangxi married the gentle and dignified Concubine Rong that Su Ma really didn't care about the world and practiced with peace of mind.
Concubine Rong was understanding, gentle and considerate, and Kangxi was able to get peace of mind in her, and to heal all the unhappiness and stress brought about by the previous dynasty.
Before Concubine Rong, Su Ma had always undertaken this obligation, not only that, Su Ma was wise and wise, and could give Kangxi a lot of suggestions and reminders in many political affairs.
Su Ma has been watching Kangxi ascend the throne from the age of 8 to regaining pro-government power at the age of 16, zhi eliminating Ao Bai, and then abolishing San Francisco.
Along the way, although she was a palace girl, she was more like Kangxi's comrades-in-arms, who fought side by side and lived and died. She not only saw Kangxi's wisdom and strategy as an emperor, his great talent, and his heroic martial prowess, but also saw Kangxi's vulnerability, loneliness and paranoia as a human being.
When she was young, she saw kangxi suspicious and only felt terrible. But as she grew older, she was able to empathize with Kangxi's loneliness as emperor in a high position.
At this time, she may no longer feel terrible, but very distressed, heartache Kangxi is also a person, but many times can only castrate people's emotions, that kind of helplessness and sacrifice, perhaps only Su Ma can understand, even the most understanding Concubine Rong may not understand.
Because in the eyes of Concubine Rong and their daughter Lan Qi'er, Kangxi became more and more ruthless. And the great trauma behind the heartless people, they can not see, they are difficult to understand.
And Su Ma understands him, hurts him, and worships him, this is love, the brightest, the toughest, the deepest love after a long time of purification.
And this love, Su Ma can't say it, only Xiao Zhuang can see it clearly.
Before dying, Xiaozhuang had asked Su Ma about her feelings for Kangxi and whether there was the kind of love a woman has for a man. He also told her that if there was anything to say, she should quickly say it to Kangxi, otherwise there would be no chance.
Su Ma burst into tears in an instant, but did not answer anything. Until before her death, she wrote a letter to Kangxi, but burned it on the spot.
Those unexpressed loves are thus buried with death.
4. Su Ma's life is asexual, which is a sober and passive rebellion against fate
Many people feel that Su Ma's refusal to be an imperial concubine is the most sober and wise choice. After all, the concubines did not have a good ending, and even Kangxi's favorite concubine Rong finally died tragically in the toilet pile.
Su Ma was indeed very sober, and she had already seen through the fate of the Imperial Princess. She believes that her refusal to be an imperial princess is a rebellion against a tragic fate.
But in my opinion, this resistance is sober and passive, essentially an escape. And the real resistance is change!
If you are not even afraid of death, why not jump into the situation and make him turn the world upside down, even if you can't compete with the decay and struggle of the harem, at least poke a big hole, so that the faint light can shine in.
If you really fall in love, you don't have to keep the Green Lantern Ancient Buddha. Although love is sometimes too complicated to declare, it is also so simple that it only requires one look.
If you are discouraged, you can only be a lonely bystander, drinking the misery of love alone, it is better to be brave to pursue, only by walking in, you know whether it is a sword mountain fire or a happy harbor in front of you.
Even if you fail, at least you have tried, tried, and truly tasted the bittersweet and bittersweet in it.
Isn't it necessary for a person to live a lifetime to create a possibility in the impossible? Isn't it about experiencing this human taste?
Don't refuse to start in order to avoid failure and pain, just be a bystander.