Text/Summer
01. Preface
On the road of life, kindness is a light.
Shakespeare said, "A small candle whose light shines so far away, a good deed shines like this candle in this sinful world." ”
In the beginning of man, nature is good.
When we are not deeply involved in the world, we often regard kindness as the most beautiful virtue of a person. It is like a light, warming people's hearts and illuminating the way forward.
However, as I get older, after coming into contact with all kinds of people, I will gradually find that not all of them can be friendly. There are many people in society who use the kindness of others to do self-interest.
Therefore, no matter what kind of relationship you face, kindness must also be sharp.
People's hearts are unpredictable, the heart of harming people must not be there, and the heart of preventing people must not be without. Kindness must be built on the basis of protecting oneself. Getting along with people, being too kind, will ruin yourself, and it is a disaster.
02, excessive kindness, is a disaster
Getting along with each other is too kind, and it is often a disaster. Because, too kind, will indulge the bad style of others.
In the TV series "Female Psychologist", Xiao Mo is an old employee of the company, and he often helps colleagues to make reports and run errands to buy milk tea.
He thinks that if he doesn't refuse, he is kind enough to make colleagues and friends like him.
But he did not think that his excessive kindness had become a tool for colleagues to use him. Not only did he start asking him to help with his work, but he was also told to go to the liquor store to pay the bill.
In the end, the relationship between Xiao Mo and his colleagues became worse and worse. And because he was used at the same time, he accumulated negative emotions for a long time, and eventually suffered from serious mental illness.
Things are the opposite, too kind, will indulge others.
People are good and are deceived. When you don't tell others your bottom line and principles, they think you're a soft persimmon and take "bullying you" for granted.
On the road of life, people who are too kind not only live very tired, but also cannot manage good connections and cannot manage their own lives.
03, people have a ruler, do not be too kind
A person, no matter how kind, has to have a bottom line.
Mile once said: "The kinder a person is, the less he perceives the ill intentions of others." ”
Life is alive, get along with people, and kindness should be moderate. This world is not a black and white world, and good does not necessarily defeat evil.
If you meet a selfish person, kindness becomes the reason for hurting yourself.
People have rulers, don't be overly kind. To get along with each other, there must be principles and there must be a bottom line. You can't be blindly kind, otherwise it will promote a bad atmosphere.
Dare to refuse, dare to say no, dare to fight against evil forces, that is also a kind of goodness.
Kindness is not blindly pleasing others, nor is it blindly pleasing others, nor is it not rejecting others. Kindness should be to maintain others, to maintain oneself, and to return a good life in this world.
Excessive kindness, in fact, is weakness, more like a character defect.
If kindness loses the bottom line at the same time, then kindness is irresponsible to oneself. It is foolishness to fulfill others at the expense of self-sacrifice.
04, kindness, is a choice
As the saying goes: "Doumi nourishes the benefactor, and the rising rice feeds the enemy." ”
Kindness is a choice. However, kindness is not blindly giving and compromising. Kindness must have a position; kindness must have principles; kindness must also learn to see people.
Although helping others is a good deed, it must also be divided into situations and people.
When an individual is hurt, you can choose to refuse, choose not to be hurt. Sometimes, learning to refuse is also a kind act, but also a kind of kindness.
The world is not as good as we think, but it is not as bad as we think.
Greedy people exist in all walks of life, don't let yourself teach others how to hurt yourself, let alone promote other people's bad styles and habits.
In life, there are many kinds of manifestations of kindness.
When others are in difficulty, it is a kind of kindness; when others bully the weak and resist vigorously, it is a kind of kindness; others are lazy and lazy, do not give help, and force them to grow, which is also a kind of kindness.
Kindness is a choice, but learn to express it correctly.
05. Summary
Man, sooner or later you will understand that being too kind is a disaster.
When the tide of society rushes towards us, the harsh reality can make people doubt "goodness". I thought it was a link of interpersonal harmony, but in the end I would find that people are too kind, which is a disaster.
It is undeniable that most of those who are too kind have become stepping stones for others to move upwards.
The world needs kindness, but kindness also needs to look at the occasion.
While being friendly, we must be more sharp, and we can be kind to real old and weak women and children, people in embarrassing situations. And for people who are hypocritical and calculating, if you are not cruel, you can only be bullied.
In life, we can't influence the behavior of others, but we can choose to protect ourselves while also fighting back against those who hurt ourselves.
With kindness, only by having a shield and a sword at the same time can you save yourself and make the road of life smoother.
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Author: Xia Mo, a cutting-edge emotional tutor, a psychologist, a popular emotional writer with more than 1 billion people on the Internet, a happy woman manager, who has focused on emotions, gender, and mother-in-law and daughter-in-law for more than ten years.