They disappeared from the circle of friends

In 2012, the "circle of friends" was born, and the Internet social life of the Chinese changed.

Ten years have passed, WeChat has become everyone's mobile phone must-have software, but the user's mood is different from the past. Grouping colleagues, blocking lovers, blocking parents, and never being able to update again... More and more people are disappearing from the circle of friends.

Shut down the circle of friends,

It's nothing

Xiao Ding 丨 35 years old florist

After I was laid off two years ago, I closed my circle of friends.

Life was so desperate that my family's two-year-old child was waiting to be fed, and the mortgage in Beijing was overwhelming, and in the near despair, I found a job as a florist. Not only was this a job with income prospects, but the quiet course environment also helped me get rid of my anxious personality. From the first few days of doing floral art, I closed the circle of friends.

But after all, to do business, in fact, for a while I briefly opened the circle of friends.

When the noisy information poured in again, I finally thought of a compromise method, that is, to close the entrance to the circle of friends, but still retain the habit of sending the circle of friends, generally only send photos taken with SLR in floral class. This may not be fair to my friends because they can see what I output every day, and I choose to block all of them.

The situation that I was worried that closing the circle of friends would miss all kinds of big things and small things did not happen, on the contrary, I did not take the initiative to pay attention to this information, and what really needed me to pay attention to would still find ways to appear in front of me. This has greatly reduced my online social anxiety and allowed me to pay more attention to the real feelings in my life.

She went to another world,

If you want her, go to the circle of friends to see

Fang fang | 25 years old company employee

The friend is a girl born in 1995, used to be a colleague who has been together, sitting face to face, daily work exchanges make us good friends, as a north drift, we are like sisters, eating after work, bringing breakfast to each other at work, drinking afternoon tea, and having feelings for a few years. She once posted a selfie of the two of us in the circle of friends, except for couples, good girlfriends will be like this.

After working together for three years, she returned to her hometown, and I joked that you finally escaped from the north and lived a good life. At that time, she told me that she needed to go home to nurse her illness because she was sick, and she didn't tell me what the disease was, but said that she would go home to nurse for half a year and would come back when the time came.

Half a year is enough for two people who have embarked on different rhythms of life, which is enough to slowly cool down a professional friendship, but just three months after she left Beijing, she suddenly saw a line in her circle of friends: Hello, we are her parents, she passed away last night, and wechat is what we have to deal with for her - her parents.

I went over to ask privately, but no one replied. Her circle of friends also stopped forever on that day, a year ago, our selfie is still there, she was a cheerful girl before she was born, the circle of friends is all seen, sometimes I miss her, I will open her circle of friends to see. Inside there are paintings she once painted, as well as her daily habit of tracking the news of the Yunnan elephant herd at that time, the burning clouds and sunsets she took when she left work at dusk, and the photos of her and her parents building snowmen in the snow on snowy days in winter...

It's hard to imagine such a lovely person, just so gone.

In order to avoid the leadership,

Had to use the trumpet to send a circle of friends

Chen Sang | 30 years old employee of public institutions

Sending a circle of friends is actually very sensitive to a person who is in the system.

My address book is almost all colleagues, there is no need to group, and I think this is too troublesome. The only relationship to deal with in the circle of friends is the relationship with the leader.

The leader's circle of friends should be liked, the leader's article should also be turned, and the picture of going out to play during the holiday cannot be sent nine pictures, generally two or four. Jiutu may appear to be overly happy and not care about work.

Last year, I opened a WeChat trumpet, added all the friends in the fishing circle, I want to send what I want, no longer care about the views of others, but it is particularly troublesome to switch, several times in the big number sent a photo of myself to fish, the result of the holiday was pulled by the leader to teach him to fish, really embarrassed, accompanied by the leader is also very tired, really tired of this split social network life.

The circle of friends should have a function,

Block parents by default

Yuanyuan | 28 years old employee of foreign trade company

The reason why I am sending fewer and fewer circles of friends is actually because my parents have almost violated my life. Many people feel that parents and children seem to be born chopsticks tied together, always more advanced and reliable than other interpersonal relationships. But from a practical point of view, this is not the case a lot of times.

In fact, my relationship with my parents is not bad, and I respect my opinion when choosing college and working. Before I joined the company, my parents tearfully lamented that I had finally grown up, but in fact they still treated me like a child.

Usually I don't like to shop much in my life, and I don't have much time, I usually go to Uniqlo in the summer to pick up a few beautiful dresses, and in the winter, I will find a down jacket and wrap it up casually. However, when working, you must dress brightly. So between my work, I will post some photos of wearing "overalls" in the circle of friends, as well as promotional photos of going out to visit, which are the photos that make me and my parents have a lot of estrangement.

Parents didn't say anything when they first saw the pictures, but their dissatisfaction spread over time. Sometimes when I make video calls, I will be reminded not to dress too "charming", I say that this is the need of the work, they feel that "foreigners are not familiar with us, in case of non-division of thoughts can be good."

I would like to laugh and tell them that people come to talk about hundreds of millions of big orders, and they are so busy every day that they have no time to think about it.

The topic of coming and going became a contradiction in the family, and after that, I slowly posted fewer photos, and occasionally posted pictures to shield my parents. If my parents had any doubts, I would send a few pictures of my dress and tell them I wasn't wearing "that kind of dress."

This feeling of hiding is not what I want, but after all, it is much easier to shield than to collide ideas, isn't it?

Boyfriends don't send circles of friends

I thought he was low-key and calm

Green | 29-year-old human resources practitioner

When I first started with him, I felt that the two of us were a match made in heaven, and life was full of tacit understanding, which also made me move my faith in going on with this person for the first time.

The frequency of his circle of friends is about half a year. At that time, I was very happy, and finally met a calm and introverted man who did not like to show off, and the low profile of the circle of friends made me equate with his character and personality.

But one night, I inadvertently glanced at his real circle of friends, only to find that this calm and introverted appearance, rarely sent a circle of friends of the man's mobile phone, the circle of friends two or three days, and sometimes several a day, many of which are photos of himself going out to eat and drink with his buddies, some activities I know, some activities I do not know, of course, I am not in those visible groupings.

He, he, put me and his parents and relatives in a group called "Family."

I told my girlfriend about it, and she comforted me: "The good news is that he treats you like a 'family member'".

I still feel bad in my heart. I don't want to be just his "family", I want to be his friend and lover, but in the gap between a circle of friends for half a year, I see his free life behind my back, as well as his dislike and defense against me.

Of course, this three-year relationship ended in his infidelity, and on the second day of the breakup, he set the circle of friends for the first time to be visible for three days. Three days of visible + grouping is directly equivalent to blocking me, and the ghost knows that he may have directly pulled me into a more hellish group, maybe that group is called:"Ex".

Discord and jealousy in an intimate relationship ended with mutual blackmail in our circle of friends. Open the other person's homepage, the black line is like the electrocardiogram of the person who has just passed away, the end of our three-year relationship. I later learned through mutual friends that after the breakup, his circle of friends also did not move for a long time, and the latest one was that he left the city we knew and returned to his hometown to marry a girl.

Looking at the circle of friends, I silently blessed the girl who may have been put into the "family" group.

Interview: Loudhook

Edit: Sebastian

Some of the image sources come from Visual China

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