He Suohuan, a writer of gender-emotional psychology, writes sentient stories, interesting strangers, and material knowledge.
People always like to distinguish between "introverts" and "extroverts".
In fact, there is a group between the two, which can be called "natural cool and thin".
In their hearts, there is no too strong affection, and they are more grateful and repay their parents.
There's also not much desire to make friends, preferring to be alone and immersed in their own world.
This reminds me of Maugham's opening words in The Outsider:
"Today, Mom is dead. It could also have been yesterday, I don't know. ”
It can be said that it is shocking and shocking, so that people can look at it at first glance, only to feel that this content is bluntly tapping their soul and vision.
In fact, this is a person who is calm to indifferent, and a person who is rational to cool.
Why would someone have a weak sense of affection and are reluctant to make friends?
-01
Thinking that life has no meaning, that nothing can interest him
I prefer to call it "the natural apathetic.".
If analyzed from a psychological point of view, this type of person belongs to the "poor empathy ability" and lacks the ability to "describe feelings".
In the book "The Outsider", the male protagonist Meursault is such a person.
Whether it is the right affection, love or career, his performance is as cold as ever, thinking that everything is meaningless.
Facing Affection:
When he learned of his mother's death, he did not remember the time of her death; he did not shed a single tear at her funeral, and he also found the funeral ceremony complicated and exhausting.
After the funeral, he thought: Hurry back and sleep for more than ten hours.
After the funeral, his life did not have any sense of falling into sorrow, but returned to his original life.
Shopping, dating, watching movies.
Facing the career:
The boss told Meursault that he planned to let him travel and change his working environment, and he would feel happy and full of morale for his career.
In other words, any normal person, getting the boss's promotion and appreciation, promotion and salary increase, is a quick thing.
But how does the protagonist Meursault answer you know?
He said: "Life is the same, even if I live here, it will not make me unhappy." ”
You can imagine how angry and helpless the boss is in his heart.
Dealing with Love:
His girlfriend likes to ask him, "Do you really love me?" ”
Meursault replied: "Such a conversation is meaningless. ”
"Of course, if you want to listen, I can do whatever I want, and I can do the same."
The girlfriend said: "If another woman has a relationship with you, just like you and me, do you not hesitate to accept it?" ”
He replied: Of course it is.
If in reality, a man like Meursault is the representative of a "straight man".
He is like an outsider who stands in God's point of view, watching everything.
With an indifferent, calm posture, examine everything around you and observe your own life.
Some people, like the protagonist Meursault, think that life has no meaning, that life has no meaning.
They live under a meaningless concept, so they can't be interested in any feelings, even if they are family.
The Outsider is called one of Camus's most important works because it brings us to see the world as a bystander.
Some people have a weak sense of affection and are reluctant to make friends, is this not the factor?
They will be grateful, they will be unashamed, but that's about it.
-02
Passive personality: always suffers losses and lacks the ability to socialize
There are also some people who are indifferent to family and friendship because they often suffer losses in the process of maintaining relationships.
Being cheated by relatives, being cheated by friends, and giving a piece of sincerity is always not reciprocated.
Over time, they are disappointed in their feelings.
The relatives around them are tired of coping, and some relatives are even worse than the best friends.
In the face of socializing, they are too lazy to make new friends and are only willing to maintain the few friends around them.
This type of person, they are a "passive personality".
Getting along with others often falls into a passive state, does not interact with others, and does not know how to protect their own interests.
Most importantly, don't know how to reject others.
When you don't reject others, you fall into the mentality of wronging yourself and perfecting others.
Over time, you just feel tired of maintaining the relationship, leaving your body and mind in a state of extreme exhaustion.
If you don't save enough disappointment, who wants to settle for the status quo?
It is precisely because they do not expect affection and friendship that they are indifferent.
-03
Unwillingness to waste time in meaningless interactions
There are also some people who live very well.
In their opinion:
When you are good enough and valuable enough, your connections will continue to come close to you; conversely, when your own value is not high, you are not qualified to have connections.
Instead of wasting time maintaining meaningless social relationships, it is better to use this time to run your own life well.
These people, seemingly selfish, are actually not selfish at all.
Because they live more thoroughly than anyone else, they don't care what others think.
Even if you have a lot of friends, every day there is no end to drink, can not eat the end of the meal, what can you do?
Only in times of tribulation can we see the truth.
People with cold personalities and weak family feelings are not their iron hearts.
On the contrary, it is precisely because they remain sober and rational that they do not mind the views of the unexpected world and strive to live for themselves.
Today's Topic:
What is your attitude towards family and friendship?
(Article with picture source network)