Seriously afraid of dogs, I couldn't stand my son's soft and hard bubbles, and finally let go of my promise that he could have a dog. As a result, not only did the task of feeding fall on me, but I spoiled the dog much more than I cared for my son. My son said to me several times: You are better to it than to me, it eats better than me, you do not scold it and do not educate it when it breaks into trouble, and you are particularly gentle in talking to it.
People who do not keep dogs cannot understand the dog owners' spoiling of dogs and think that they have taken the dog as a son. In fact, no matter how spoiled the dog, there is still a difference between raising a son. The more they love their sons, the more they will strengthen their education and restraint on their sons, and hope to cultivate their sons' skills, because the future road needs to be walked by himself. The love of pets is the opposite, because there is no need to worry about the future for pets, so they will indulge pets infinitely, allowing them to enjoy their limited lives.
In order to make my dog more fun, I also specially got another one to accompany him. Although they also fight, most of the time they please each other. And I, watching them play happily, was particularly satisfied.
Jia Mu's spoiling of Baoyu is this mentality, the mentality of raising pets. Including her taking Daiyu with a tough attitude, it is also to give Baoyu a companion to have fun. Pet but not love, raise but not teach, Jia Mu's offering to Baoyu and Daiyu is the mentality of raising pets.
Jia Mu's love for Baoyu is only spoiled, and there is no far-reaching education for it.
The fifth time, when Jia Baoyu was traveling to the illusory realm, the police illusion fairy girl mentioned the entrustment of the Second Duke of Ning Rong, "Only Sun Baoyu is alone, obedient in nature, strange in temperament, although intelligent and wise, slightly promising, helpless to end my family's fortunes, I am afraid that no one will lead to the right."
When I first read it, I felt that these two dukes were unfounded, Baoyu had a good mother like Madame Wang, and had cultivated such an excellent disciple as Jia Zhu, how could it be "no one to introduce the right"?
After deep reading, I learned that the second duke was implicitly condemning Jia Mu. Baoyu is not "no one rules to introduce the right", but there is the doting of Jia Mu, the old grandmother, resulting in "no one dares to take care of it".
Bao Yu was a particularly intelligent child, "smart and wise, slightly promising." Often the smarter the child, the more education and restraint need to be strengthened. Proper education can become a pillar and benefit the country and the people; if education is not done properly, it is easy to lead to crookedness, destroy the family and the nation, and even bring calamity to the country and the people.
Although Bao Yu was born in Rong Guo Mansion and could be said to have come with a golden key, he was already a fourth-generation disciple of Di Jia Province. Father Jia Zheng's official position was inherited from the ancestral shadow, and he did not have any achievements, and neither fame nor profit could leave anything for Baoyu. Therefore, Baoyu's future must rely on him to fight.
This is something that even a slightly wiser person can think of, and because of this, Lady Jia Zhengwang, including Yuan Chun, is deeply worried about Baoyu's future and hopes to educate and cultivate him.
Isn't Jammu wise? If she is not wise, it is impossible to go all the way from the granddaughter-in-law to the position of the old ancestor. However, in her later years, she cares more about personal enjoyment, and she does not even want to consider the future of the family, let alone the future of Baoyu.
Yes, in order to be more lively and joyful in her old age, she wants to keep pets, and she treats people as pets, and Baoyu is her pet.
In fact, Jia Mu knew better than Jia Zhengwang's wife Yuan Chun that Baoyu's future was worrying. When the Qing Void Temple was beaten, Jia Mu, who believed in the divine Buddha, was warned by the divine Buddha: Jia Fu had entered the stage of "NanKe Dream". Wealth and glory are just a prosperous dream, and the prosperous dream of Jia Fu is about to wake up.
Therefore, if Jia Mu really loves Baoyu, she must plan for Baoyu's future, and in her lifetime, strive to put on enough hard armor for Baoyu to cope with the storms of life.
However, she did not, because she only treated Baoyu as a pet, and she needed Baoyu to bring her pleasure.
The so-called pet, pet is the thing, the pleasure is their own. So, we will see that there are many pets abandoned by their owners, but very few children abandoned by their parents. When the pet can no longer play the role of pleasing the owner, or the owner no longer needs the pet, there will be abandonment. Parents who love their children will not do this, children are happy to have a career, if the child lives a very unsuccessful life, parents will become a warm harbor for their children.
This is the essential difference between treating children and treating pets. Of course, the exception is for pets who start with love, that is, no matter what the pet becomes, it is not wrong to love.
Under the spoiling of Jia Mu, Bao Yu was indeed raised as a pet, "a skill", if there is no one to provide for it, he will not survive, just like the most vulnerable stray dogs.
Jia Mu took Lin Daiyu into Jia Mansion in order to find a playmate for Bao Yu.
After raising a dog, I learned that the difference between a female dog and a male dog is very large. The first dog I had was a female dog, and although it was not very supple, it never ran outside, always away from me.
The companion I found for him was a male dog, who always wanted to run outside, and only when he was tired of playing outside did he want to go home, and I had to try my best to keep it at home.
Jia Mu wants to keep Bao Yu as a pet, but Bao Yu is a boy after all, although he "likes to mess around inside", he often yearns for the outside world, especially when there is a lack of playmates at home.
Therefore, we see that when Baoyu met Qin Zhong, he suddenly turned anxious to go to school, just in order to get along with Qin Zhong more opportunities. For Baoyu's growth, this is a good thing, even if he is "reading for the wind", but finally took a step towards the outside world, from here, he will slowly move away from the "inner only".
However, things did not develop in this direction, because knowing about this matter, Jia Mu instructed Qin Zhong, "Just stay with me." She let Qin Zhong live in, and she avoided Bao Yu from running outside. (Off-topic: It is precisely because Jia Mu let Qin Zhong live in the inner courtyard that Qin Zhong knew Zhi'er. Her practice of not avoiding suspicion for her own pleasure not only harmed Baoyu and Daiyu, but also harmed Qin Zhong and Zhi'er. ）
This is also the purpose of Jia Mu to take Dai Yu into the house.
As he grew older, Baoyu, who was "happy to be in the inner world", if there was no one in the inner world who could trip him, he would think of running outside, so the time spent with Jia Mu would be less and less.
Therefore, in order to keep Baoyu by her side for a long time, Jia Mu took Lin Daiyu with a tough attitude. In fact, we can see that from the beginning of receiving Daiyu into the house, JiaMu did not educate Daiyu, but because Baoyu saw Daiyu as soon as she saw Daiyu, she let Daiyu and Baoyu live together, "the day is sitting together, and the night is the same breath."
This is equivalent to finding a companion for Baoyu's pet and raising another pet.
Therefore, after Baoyu, Dai Yu also became Jia Mu's pet, petting but not loving, raising but not teaching, so that Dai Yu sighed, "Carefully calculated, my mother died early, and there are no sisters and brothers, I am fifteen years old this year, and no one has taught me like you said the day before." That is to say, Dai Yu has been in a state of uneducation in the nearly ten years since her mother's death and entered the Jia Province.
Jia Mu's pampering and offering to Daiyu can be described as the ultimate. In terms of spoiling, privileges are given, all the rules and etiquette, Dai Yu can not keep, the things within the matter, Dai Yu can not do; in terms of offerings, the same as Bao Yu's highest treatment, "sleeping and eating, just like Bao Yu, Yingchun, Tanchun, Xi Chun three granddaughters fall and backward."
However, to say how much Jia Mu loves Daiyu, at least not in the book.
You know, pampering is not love, real love is to plan for the long term. Dai Yu entered Jia Fu with a sick body, and Lin Ruhai had two expectations, one was that Jia Fu would have the conditions to make Dai Yu's illness better, and the other was that Jia Fu could bring Dai Yu a better education.
If Jia Mu really loves Daiyu, she must first consider her body, constantly seek medical treatment, and even if it is ultimately ineffective, she should also obey the fate of heaven. Love, will be desperate to work hard.
Then, the Lin family has been wiped out, and Jia Mu should think about Daiyu's future and cultivate her into a person who is sought after for her virtuousness, rather than a person who can survive completely relying on Jia Mu's protection. Teach because of love, the more love, the more willing to strictly require careful cultivation, even with some harsh means.
This is the difference between raising children and raising pets, raising children to love and nurture with their hearts, and raising pets only needs to be supplied and spoiled with materials. In the final analysis, the tragedy of Baoyu and Daiyu's life is caused by Jia Mu's hand, pampering but not loving, raising but not teaching, and treating Baoyu and Daiyu as pets to accompany themselves to spend their old age.