Su Shi once said, "A little bit of haoran qi, a thousand miles of fast wind." ”
The personal charm and influence formed by a person's personality, temperament, quality, and pattern are an invisible force that emanates from the inside out, which is the aura that a person has.
Some people are simple and unpretentious but charming, some people are pearlescent but emit copper odor; some people are gentle and solemn in their hearts, some people are not angry and intimidating; some people are in trouble and do not lose their backbone, and some people are in the face of criticism but tolerate the atmosphere.
Aura is a unique spiritual business card of a person. It is not innate, but the result of experiencing the baptism of years and inner cultivation.
When these three signs appear in a person's body, it means that his aura is getting stronger and stronger.
01
Control your temper and calm your breath
I once read a parable like this:
A snake looking for food to eat, crept into a carpenter's workshop and was accidentally scratched by a saw.
The snake angrily bit the saw and scratched its own mouth. Thinking that the saw was attacking itself, it decided to wrap its entire body around the saw and let it suffocate.
So the serpent used up all its power. In the end, the snake was wounded by the saw and died in blood.
Anger, anger, insoluble problems, sometimes bringing themselves into a black hole. Just like this snake, because of anger, harming others does not hurt oneself.
Liang Shiqiu said: "When the blood is boiling, reason is not very sober, words and deeds are easy to exceed, and it is not suitable for others or themselves. ”
When people are angry, it is easy to lose their minds and do wrong things. How to eliminate one's anger and become a kind of cultivation is also a science. Ancient celebrities, in terms of eliminating anger, had their own tricks.
Ximen Leopard, a native of Wei during the Warring States period, was a famous politician and water conservancy artist. He is hot-tempered and prone to anger. To dispel his anger, he carried a soft cowhide with him. Every time you want to get angry, touch the cowhide with your hands to distract yourself and control your temper.
Li Ne, the prime minister of the Tang Dynasty, was impatient, but he loved to play chess, and when he played chess, he had a serene look, extremely tolerant and gentle. He was often impatient and about to lose his temper, and the family quietly put the chess in front of him. Li Ne saw that the chess was immediately with Yan Yuexi, picked up the chess pieces and fiddled with the chess game, so he threw away all his anger.
Tantrums are a person's instinct, but controlling temper is a person's skill. Managing emotions well allows reason to control its own judgments and decisions, so as to firmly hold its fate in its own hands.
When temper comes, everyone finds a suitable way to control anger according to their own preferences, and they can calm their minds.
Calm down, seek solutions with an optimistic and positive attitude, everything will develop in a good direction, and your affinity will become stronger and stronger.
02
Convergence of pride and bone
Zhuge Liang said in the "General Commandment": "Only those who are not proud are proud of others, and they are not favored and sit on the prestige." ”
Do not rely on your own talents and show arrogance in front of others, do not glorify being pampered.
Learning to restrain pride is a person's qualities.
Sun Quan's cousin Sun Jiao was able to fight a good battle and made great contributions to the stability of the Eastern Wu regime.
Sun Jiao was a talent, but he was arrogant and disdainful of Eastern Wu generals with different surnames. He often spoke ill of them and once insulted the general Gan Ning.
Sun Jiao's behavior was obviously not conducive to the consolidation of the Eastern Wu regime, and in order to reconcile the contradictions between Sun And the officials of the generals with different surnames, Sun Quan wrote to Sun Jiao to advise him.
In his letter, he wrote: "Husbands and wives are respectful and simple, they can come to the people, they can love people with many tolerances, and they can win the multitude." ”
Sun Jiao heeded Sun Quan's advice and apologized to Gan Ning, and the two shook hands and made peace, and later cooperated to fight together.
Taking a step back from the sea and the sky can also capture people's hearts.
Sun Quan adopted an impartial attitude toward the Sun family and foreign surnames, corrected the arrogance and willfulness of the Sun family, established a good family style of fairness and selflessness of the Sun family, and also laid a good foundation for the stability of the Wu state regime.
There is a saying that goes well: "Pride is the source of failure, and pride is the foundation of oneself." ”
Arrogant people are often pretentious, have no one in sight, are arrogant and willful, and lose hearts and minds, and dig traps for themselves with their own hands.
Humble people often have a reverential heart, respect others, do things low-key, attract others to get closer, and thus achieve great things.
Convergence of pride, cultivation of a proud bone, a person is like a tiger to add wings, thousands of grinding more strong, the attraction will become stronger and stronger.
03
Abandon the stinginess to nourish the atmosphere
In the Xunzi Non-Phase, it is said: "A gentleman is wise and can tolerate it, knows and can tolerate foolishness, be broad and tolerant of shallowness, and be pure and tolerant of miscellaneousness." ”
A gentleman is able to accommodate the incompetent, a wise man to accommodate the stupid, a man of great knowledge to accommodate the unheard, a man of moral purity to accommodate a man of mixed character.
Nurturing the atmosphere is a pattern of one person.
The Famous Minister of the Northern Song Dynasty, Lü Meng, was tolerant and graceful towards people. Even Song Taizong said, "Lü Meng's righteous qi, I might as well do it." ”
Lü Mengzheng was very young, and his father Lü Guitu had a disagreement with his mother Liu Shi, and even drove their mother and son out of the house with absolute desperation. Lü Meng, who lived in distress, was studying hard in the cold window, taking the meritorious name and stepping into his career. He welcomed his father into the house and served him attentively until he was old.
Lu Mengzheng's magnanimity is not only for his own people, but also for outsiders.
Lü Mengzheng had just been appointed deputy prime minister, and on the first day he entered the dynasty and took office, full of vigor. Walking on the main hall, I suddenly heard someone say, "Is this boy also a suffragan?" ”
In the face of this basin of cold water, Lu Meng pretended not to hear and left. However, the colleague who was on the same page with Lu Meng was very dissatisfied and wanted to find out who this person was. Lu Meng was hurriedly stopping it and not letting it be traced.
After the fall of the dynasty, Lü Mengzheng's colleagues were still indignant and regretted that they had not caught the man at that time. Lü Mengzheng said: "If you know his name, you will never forget it for the rest of your life, it is better not to know." ”
Lü Mengzheng's atmosphere is reflected in the shortness of tolerant people, tolerant words, and tolerant of people's faults. He knew that people were good at use, and he also recommended to the imperial court Wen Zhongshu, an old classmate who often said bad things about him.
As the saying goes, "The prime minister can hold a boat in his belly." "Lu Meng is dealing with the world, tolerant of people. No wonder later generations commented, "When an official is like Lu Mengzheng." ”
The atmosphere is a kind of temperament, a mature and generous gas volume, a calm and retreating temperament, and an unconscious exposure of a person's inner quality and cultivation.
To be a person in the atmosphere, you must be generous and tolerant; frank and frank, and be a model; do not easily challenge the shallowness of others with your own cultivation; when you can overcome the small self, mature and big me, your influence will become stronger and stronger.
04
Write at the end
Control the temper, nourish the calm, and the affinity of the person will become stronger and stronger;
Convergence of pride, cultivation of backbone, people's attraction will become stronger and stronger;
Abandon stinginess, conserve the atmosphere, and people's influence will become stronger and stronger.
Affinity, attraction and influence form a powerful aura that radiates out to the surroundings, attracting brighter, warmer things to one's side.
From now on, control your temper, curb your pride, abandon stinginess, strengthen your heart, expand your pattern, control your aura, achieve the height of life, and enhance the realm of life.