Qi Heng, the gentleman of both literature and martial arts, is the object that many girls in the boudoir want to marry, and Chang Bai's close friend. But such a person with valuable character and a solid family will not be happy who marries him!
Why? There are two important reasons why!
01
Qi Heng's confession after getting drunk is painful!
When RuLan got married, Qi Heng went to the Sheng family to participate in the wedding feast and drank a little drunk, and when he met Minglan, Qi Heng couldn't help but feel heartache, so he took this opportunity to ask why Minglan did not accept his feelings from the beginning?
"Over the years, you have not understood my intentions for you, but you have always pretended to be stupid and cold to me. I'll say it to heaven today, but if you have half a point to respond to my heart, I will fight to the death! But from the very beginning you saw me dead, felt that I was the one who was overwhelmed, felt that I would trouble you, and avoided me like a poisonous snake and beast. ”
Minglan lowered his eyelids lightly, and then said leisurely:
“
We have known each other since childhood, I'm afraid you don't know it yourself, you are actually very similar to the county lord, looking at the wind and clouds, but the inside is very strong. You obviously have a good family lineage, but you are still diligent and self-sufficient, and you can be regarded as the best son among the children of Jingzhong Jinyi.
”
"You have to do the best in everything, just studied the "Han Fu" for a few days, and then thought of studying the "Book of Poetry"; practicing the pavilion style, but also unwilling to give up the Yan body willow body; Mr. Zhuang just praised you for writing a little bit, and you went to color grading and painting. You also know that greed cannot be chewed, so you will be greedy and dark every day, and you will practice many learning skills into some famous places. ”
"You're so good, you want to do the best in everything, I can't afford it, your heart is too big to put down."
Minglan seems to be calm and rational, but why is it not a kind of self-protection?
On the surface, Qi Heng's family lineage is too good, and the gap between the two people is too large, in fact, the real reason why Minglan rejects Qi Heng is that the conceptual gap between the two people is too large. Minglan wants a stable and comfortable life, and Qi Heng pursues a broader world.
Two people in a marriage living together with different concepts is not sweet but a torture!
Mr. Yang Dai once said:
"Under the trend of the era of material supremacy, I want to remind young friends that the most important thing about the union of men and women is the relationship, and the degree of mutual understanding between the two sides. Deep understanding can only be mutual
admire
Attract support and encouragement, and be happy with each other. It doesn't matter if the door is right or the other.
There is a premise for understanding deeply, that is, the concepts of the two sides are not much different, just think of the two sides of the marriage: men feel that you marry me should take care of my family wholeheartedly, everything is based on my family; women feel that feelings are mutual, whether it is between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law or between husband and wife.
How can two people with different concepts understand each other?
The most fundamental reason why Qi Heng never forgot Minglan was the specialness of Minglan. There are not many girls around Qi Heng who can be contacted, and among the few girls, some of them are girls with impure purposes like Mo Lan, and some are girls like Ru Lan who have no heart and no lungs.
The former Qi Heng did not like it, the latter Qi Heng did not like it, only Minglan, a girl who was both smart and interesting and appropriately clumsy, could most attract Qi Heng's attention. In the end, even if Minglan marries Qi Heng, he may not be happy.
Although Qi Heng's excellence will fascinate people, married life is implemented in little things. Especially such a pursuit of perfection of men, the corresponding in the partner will also pursue perfection, when the two people pursue different, there will be a beautiful fantasy in real life, will produce a big gap!
Writer Cen Sangzen Jing once said a sentence:
Do you know what is the saddest thing in the world? The beginning of hope, the waiting of disappointment, the end of despair.
This is also why, many people enter the marriage because of love, but after marriage, they always feel that the other party has changed, no longer the person who is heartwarming, in fact, it is not the other party that has changed, but after they are really together, there is no aura in love, and all the shortcomings are all presented in front of them, which cannot be accepted for a while!
As Zhang Xiaoxian said: Love, if you don't let the other party see the most beautiful side of you, is the ugliest side
;
Marriage, on the other hand, is to let the other party see the truest side of you.
02
The comparison of the lord of Binh Ninh determines the direction of marriage!
The Lord of Binning was an arrogant woman, in order to achieve it
The desire of "people to go to a high place", her requirements for Qi Heng are very strict, from dressing and eating, to making friends, especially in the choice of marriage, she will only choose gaomen, not Qi Heng's love.
Qi Heng wanted to be with his friends, so he said to the lord of Pingning County:
"Mother, after today's feast, my son wants to go out for a trip and will meet friends."
Lord Binning frowned and said:
"It's cold today, and I don't have to go out and do anything." In fact, those who are not good at reading and self-motivated, you are not helpful in seeing more. If you are bored and do not want to go home early, it is better to stay and chat with several uncles of the British gong. ”
Qi Heng frowned and did not dare to disobey his mother's meaning, and Qi Heng's father could not look down:
"The Zhang family is full of people, Heng'er and them can talk about what, how old Heng'er is, you don't care about moving with three-year-old children, what kind of people to deal with, he has a number in mind."
In the end, the purpose of the Lord of Binh Ninh is too strong, and it is often said that people who are not in a circle cannot fit in no matter how hard they try.
Qi Heng is a reader, and how can he talk with people in the British public?
However, in the eyes of the lord of Binh County, making friends is so, marriage is even more so, and marriage is only high.00. This is also why the lord of Pingning County learned that Qi Heng took advantage of his grandfather's life to deceive Minglan to a corner to confess, and after being rejected by Minglan, the lord of Pingning County praised Minglan with a happy face that he knew his identity and understood etiquette.
The lord of Pingning County's own feelings are stable, but for her son Qi Heng, she feels that the head of the house must be a high gate, even if she does not like it, it does not matter, after all, she can take a concubine, if Qi Heng likes Minglan, she agrees to take Minglanna as a concubine.
This is also one of the reasons why the lord of Pingning County gave Qi Heng the lord of Jiacheng County, in the view of the lord of Pingning County, Qi Heng marrying the lord of Jiacheng County on the one hand is helpful to the future of Qi Heng, on the other hand, she can also raise her eyebrows in front of the sister-in-law.
The lord of Pingning County is an only daughter, Qi Heng has no help from his uncle, and in the future, the Qi family's gongfu will not have Qi Heng's share, qi Heng can only rely on his father-in-law's family, so it is especially important to have a strong yue family!
The Lord of Pingning County can't look up to Minglan, because Minglan's door is too low to help Qi Heng, even if Qi Heng likes it again, the Lord of Pingning County will find a way to end this relationship in time.
From the mother's point of view, the lord of Binh Ninh wanted his son to be more outstanding and smooth, which was beyond reproach and even did a good job.
From Qi Heng's point of view, Qi Heng did not dare to disobey his mother's meaning, and he was depressed in his heart, and this resentment would only be reflected in the relationship with his wife, and there was only one consequence of this, that is, the days were full of chickens and dogs.
Sure enough, after Qi Heng's marriage, the life of the lord of Jiacheng County was constantly contradictory, and even if Qi Heng continued to string the Shen clan, the lives of the two people were still unable to respect each other.
Shen's family lineage is not as good as Qi Heng's, she does not have much courage to fight, she can only secretly rub the trip, she does not trust Qi Heng, she gave birth to a pair of dragon and phoenix fetuses, Minglan and Gu Tingye came to the door to bless.
Shin deliberately said to Minglan:
"My aunt knows that my children are the names of XiangGong, one is called Yuming, and the other is hanming."
When Qi Heng was released, she had to take the child and Qi Heng to minnan, and the result was that the mother and son died together. Later, Qi Heng married the granddaughter of the eldest princess under his mother's arrangement, but unfortunately died when he was less than thirty years old.
The three square wives that the lord of Pingning County found for Qi Heng were all very discerning, but none of these three was qi Heng himself wanted to marry, qi Heng did not dare to disobey his mother, he could only follow his mother's wishes, but after marrying his wife, he could not do sincere care, which led to his lonely and bitter life.
This is also why anyone who marries Qi Heng will not be happy as I said earlier, first, Qi Heng has others in his heart and cannot really communicate with his wife; second, under the arrangement of the lord of Pingning County, Qi Heng seems to compromise, but in fact, he closes his heart as a resistance.
The writer Austin once said:
A happy marriage requires not only the exchange of ideas, but also the exchange of feelings. If you keep your feelings in your heart, it is equivalent to shutting the other party out of the door.