Recently, Aaron Kwok's wife, Fang Yuan, the sister-in-law of Tianwang, shared her love for her family online - and personally made dumplings for her family to eat!
However, netizens were unexpectedly attracted by the small pot of dumpling filling in the picture.
It turned out to be a very ordinary plastic basin, which looked like a washbasin.
(Image source: Baijiahao)
Some netizens said that tianwang's sister-in-law also used plastic pots to fill dumplings? It seems that there is a problem with the family status!
Some netizens said: This exposes the original family, right?
Fang Yuan was born in a small county town in Wuhu, Anhui Province, grew up in the countryside, and the original family is indeed very general, so netizens will comment like this.
The melon-eating masses originally looked at the big and small things in the entertainment industry with the psychology of gossip, but this comment caused people to think deeply: Since when did the original family become the cause of many problems?
Some of the original families have indeed caused great obstacles to the child's life, and it can even be said to be a nightmare.
For example, Zhang Shaohan was asked by his mother for high alimony, and he denigrated his daughter for drug use without being satisfied, which caused her daughter's career to suffer a heavy blow.
For example, Mao Xiaotong, because she is a girl, was thrown into the trash by her father at birth, and after her daughter became famous, she demanded 50 million alimony, otherwise she would "go to hell together".
But these are very extreme individual cases, in the ordinary family, the influence of the original family on the child, is it really that big?
1
How much influence does the family of origin affect us?
There is an oft-quoted saying that says: The lucky heal a lifetime with childhood, and the unfortunate heal a lifetime. This sentence fully illustrates the great influence of the original family on people.
For example, Fan Shengmei in "Ode to Joy" has a beautiful face and talent, but she is deeply trapped in the quagmire of her original family and cannot be relieved.
(Image source: sohu.com)
It is true that the original family will leave an indelible mark on the growth of the child, but this does not mean that it determines everything.
Ma Tianyu's original family can be said to be very unfortunate. He was born in a rural family in Dezhou, Shandong Province, and his mother died when he was 5 years old, after which his father gambled and drank, and his debts could not be repaid, leaving his children to run away.
But he did not resent the misfortune brought to him by his original family, but chose to work hard.
(Image source: Weibo)
How many people's original families are perfect? If we infinitely enlarge a defect in the original family, complain about our parents, and influence ourselves, it can only create a vicious circle.
So, how should we reconcile with our families of origin?
2
Reconcile with the family of origin,
Wisdom and self-reliance are needed...
We begin to examine the original family, perhaps from the psychologist Wu Zhihong's "Why The Family Hurts People", which points directly to some families committing "original sin" in the growth of their children, revealing the human nature hidden behind the parent-child love.
However, the purpose of our understanding of these is not to analyze our parents, and then complain, to attribute some of our own problems to the adverse effects of the family, but after understanding, we can often examine the heart, and have more love and understanding of our children in our own parenting, so that children have a better "original family".
(Image source: Elken Original)
For our own original family, father and mother, we need to reconcile with them.
Although Mom and Dad are the closest people to their children, they also have their own temper and personality, and have insurmountable shortcomings, such as selfishness, laziness, irritability or irresponsibility, and so on.
It is not that parents can suddenly become saints who have no flaws in all aspects of character, personality, wisdom, etc., although the titles of "father" and "mother" are sacred, but most parents are ordinary people with such shortcomings.
Therefore, we have reason to reconcile with them, because there is a natural love between the child and the parent, which is close from blood, and as long as we understand and tolerate, we can forgive the parents and let ourselves go.
How long does this process take? It varies from person to person, and some people may understand it very early, and some people can't let go of it for a lifetime.
(Image source: new.qq.com)
This is related to a person's growth experience and life thinking, in general, we need to "self-ferry".
● Understand the imperfection of the original family, for the good side, we draw nourishment from it; the bad side, avoid it, do not let ourselves be affected.
Don't use some weak points of the original family as an excuse to lie flat, such as "My parents did not graduate from elementary school, how can I be admitted to Tsinghua?" "Even if you can't pass the exam, the process of struggle will still make people harvest full."
● When you become powerful, you react to the original family and reverse the direction of family development to a benign side.
In this way, self-redemption is completed and the family status is improved.
(However, it is not excluded that a very small number of parents have no love for their children and regard their children as "tool people" who pursue fame and profit, if it is such a native family, it is not necessary to leave too heavy a psychological burden as soon as possible.)
For example, Wang Yongqiang, a postdoctoral fellow at Peking University, refused to go back to see her until his mother died, because the original family had no affection for him and only used him as a cash machine, and he was already discouraged. ）
(Source: Western News)
Each child has its own original family, and after getting married and having children, we and the other half form the child's original family.
How to make the new family of origin a fertile ground for nourishing children's growth?
3
Create a good native family for children,
The most important thing parents should do is these things...
Although the original family cannot be perfect, we can still work hard to run a good original family for our children.
How should I do this?
Establish a good relationship between husband and wife
There is a saying: the best education is that dad loves mom. Parental love can put the family in a good mood and help foster a sense of security in the child.
Parents have the right three views
Parents have three views, then there is no problem with the cornerstone of educating children, and under the words and deeds of parents, children can learn to see the world with the right eye.
A state of mind that is constantly enterprising
The mental state of the parent directly affects the child's future development. Just think, parents who are addicted to playing games after work and parents who study at home will definitely have a different impact on their children than parents who study at home.
04
Good living habits
Good living habits not only affect the quality of life of children in the future, but also affect the health of children. For example, keeping the family clean and tidy, eating moderately, actively exercising, etc., if the original family has such a habit, the child is likely to inherit it in the future.
Well-off jun bar boo
It is not only the original family that has an impact on our growth, but also the efforts of the day after tomorrow.
Therefore, don't let the original family carry the pot for themselves, the word "native" also represents fate to some extent, it all depends on how you look at it, is it self-hatred or desperate creation? That would lead to a completely different life.
Well, today's topic is talked about here, let's not forget to help Xiaokangjun point "share", "watch" and "like", and add a chicken leg to Xiaokangjun
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