One
The original family is the fairest thing in the world,
Because everyone will be affected by the original family, rich or poor.
You can search for the stories of these people, Zhang Ailing, Ji Xianlin, Dong Qing, Zhou Xingchi...
The original family is also the most unfair thing in the world,
Because the lucky people use childhood to heal a lifetime, and the unfortunate people use a lifetime to heal childhood.
Today, let's look at Fei Yuqing's story.
At the end of the article, there are 5 rules for everyone to help everyone provide a good native family for their children.
Two
In the original family, children often inadvertently repeat the fate of their parents.
Fei Yuqing's family background is like this:
The parents divorced very early, the two "quarreled every day" when they were together, and the family was either a sword and a sword shadow, or cold without a trace of temperature.
The 3 children in the family grew up in such an environment.
They are the eldest brother Zhang Fei, the second sister Fei Zhenling, and the younger brother Fei Yuqing.
For the influence of the original family, the child is like a sponge absorbing water, which is completely absorbed without choice.
Children will listen to their parents, observe their behavior, imitate their behavior, and more importantly, children will take their parents' outlook on life as the cornerstone of their own outlook on life.
If parents often say some things to their children when they are young, such as "people become bad when they have money", "hard-earned money is at ease", "men do not have a good thing", then these words will be deeply engraved by children.
Especially today's middle-aged people, when they were children, it was the 7th and 80s, when they had little access to any reference standards outside the family, and the concept of life was built.
Three
Can you imagine that for three young children, witnessing their parents quarreling every day, what does "getting married" mean?
Marriage is: "Two people who love each other no longer love each other", "Mom and Dad quarrel every day", "There is no feeling of warmth at home", "Every day to worry about life".
Children start with their parents and learn how to look at loving marriage.
If parents argue and quarrel every day, children will think that marriage is so painful.
If parents can have a happy marriage, they will have confidence in marriage.
With such an impression of marriage, what happened after Fei Yuqing and his brother and sister grew up?
Four
The eldest brother Zhang Fei got married, gave birth to two children, and divorced.
The second sister, Fei Zhenya, had a beloved lover, and later took the initiative to give up the marriage. Now he claims to have seen through enlightenment, chosen to become a monk, and never married for the rest of his life.
The little brother Fei Yuqing, who has a beloved lover, has talked about marriage, and finally took the initiative to give up marriage and never married.
The three brothers, all in their 60s, are still single.
Let's see how the three of them talk about marriage, and whether it is like the impression given to them by their parents' marriage.
Eldest brother Zhang Fei "My loyalty and love ended until the first marriage, and people who will remarry are all problematic."
Fei Zhen Aya: "There is no eternal happiness in the world, and there is no eternal answer in the red dust."
Fei Yuqing: "If I find a partner, I will come to raise the bar and be angry." It's better not to. A lot of love will have a sweet period, after the patience is not very much, love is like a mirror flower water moon, alas! ”
Five
Some people will wonder, why do you like to mention the "original family" so much, and is the influence of the original family so great?
yes.
When we choose a mate, we all hope that the other person will meet the needs that we have never met in our original family, such as:
Being unconditionally pampered (so many women "do"), being seen, affirmed by their parents (so many people can't listen to criticism, because they have listened to too much in childhood), their importance (so many people pay special attention to holiday anniversaries), uniqueness, etc.
People from insecure families who want to find a sense of security in their partners.
When you lack love when you are a child, you especially need your partner to express love.
We all carry unmet emotional needs from childhood and want to be resolved in a new marital relationship or family.
Not everyone is lucky enough to have a happy and happy original family, a childhood that grew up in love and affirmation. Today, which you are accustomed to, is a scene that many people can only expect in their dreams.
But fortunately, we can at least provide a better original family for our children now, so that their future lives will no longer be affected by all kinds of influences like we do today.
Six
How to provide a good birth family for children?
The following five rules, from the world's best psychotherapists, summed up from tens of thousands of family cases over 20 years:
Tell your child that whether he is male or female, beautiful or ugly, poor or rich, excellent or ordinary, you love him unconditionally. 2. Tell your child that no matter what flaws and deficiencies he feels he has, you will always see his sparkling strengths. 3. Tell your child that no matter what kind of life problems he is facing at this moment, what kind of choices he has, you will unconditionally support him. 4. Tell your child that no matter where he is in the future or what happens to him, he can go home, and home is the harbor of his life. 5. Tell your child that the best way for him to love you is to run his own life and live happily ever after. This is your greatest expectation and blessing for him.
I believe that every parent is looking forward to Jackie Chan, looking forward to the female chengfeng, at the end of the article for all parents to share a good book, don't miss it!
Take the words of the world-famous physicist Yang Zhenning:
If you want your child to learn mathematics well, the first step is to first understand the basic concepts of mathematics; secondly, the origin of its basic concepts, which requires parents to accompany their children to read more mathematical books and play some mathematical games in the process of tutoring their children's mathematical problems.
However, climbing the pinnacle of mathematics is not an easy task. Yang Zhenning, a world-famous physicist, said: "I also think mathematics is very boring, but when I saw Liu Xuanyu's math book, I was very surprised. Can you still learn math like this? ”
Yang Zhenning was the greatest physicist after Newton and Einstein. The math teacher he can recognize, Liu Xuanyu, can't be wrong.
Who is Liu Xuanyu?
Compared with mathematicians such as Hua Luogeng and Chen Jingrun, Liu Xuanyu is not well-known, because his energy is mainly in mathematics teaching and the preparation of primary and secondary school textbooks.
Liu Xuanyu wrote many mathematical books in his lifetime, the most famous of which are these three:
The first book is "Mr. Ma Talks About Mathematics", which mainly talks about how to use the graphical method to solve some of the four problems of arithmetic
The second book is "Mathematical Fun", which mainly talks about the mathematical problems encountered in daily life, we say that all things are mathematics, and learning mathematics through all things is the fastest.
The third book is The Garden of Mathematics, which is a bit more difficult, and it talks about the concepts of functions, continuums, induced functions, differentiation, integrals, and sums, as well as the basic principles of their operations. Although it is a little deep, the method of explanation is very good, and the sixth grade baby can still understand part of the content.
At the same time, take this book to the child, usually the child also tutors mathematics, sometimes feel that going to cram school is a bit boring. But when the child read this book, he found it very interesting, and he could also apply what he learned in the cram school.
I didn't feel tired after watching it for an hour! Parents: It's a rare good book!
For this set of classic mathematical science books compiled by Mr. Liu Xuanyu, parents also gave a high evaluation, parents said that "this series of books in general has a kind of follow-through temptation, from shallow to deep feeling, the language is particularly convincing"
It can be said that after reading this set of books, there is no need to worry about mathematics in elementary and junior high schools.
This set of classic mathematics series, the biggest benefit is to stimulate students' hidden enthusiasm and desire to learn, so that students love to learn mathematics, many parents said that "Mathematics Three Books" is a rare good book, can not be missed!