The friendship of gentlemen is as light as water, and the friendship of villains is as sweet as liquor.
In any relationship, the most rare thing is not enthusiasm, but indifference.
But all the relationships that make you feel uncomfortable are because the distance is too close, the communication is too deep, and you learn to withdraw and retreat.
Sometimes, tear off the mask of hypocrisy, show people with their true faces, people who can talk about it will communicate, and people who can't talk about it will be alienated, and they don't have to wronged themselves and please others.
From now on, with a thin coolness, go to meet, know, intersect, gather and disperse with fate.
01
When you meet, wait and see what happens, don't expect too much.
Xi Murong said: "Don't refuse to say that beautiful vow because you may change, and don't dare to ask for a heartfelt encounter because you may be separated." ”
In this life, people will meet thousands of people, but there are not many people who can stay for you for a moment; there are even fewer people who accompany you on a ride.
What's even more frightening is to meet someone you like and then lose it again. Even if you search hard later, you can't see each other.
I have seen such a mythical story: a girl sees a favorite man in the crowd, because the power of the crowd is too great, and quickly pushes them away. After that, the girl missed every day and looked everywhere, but never met a man again. So she prayed to God.
God took pity on her and turned her into a stone and stood at the head of the bridge. The man walked slowly across the bridge and glanced at "her."
Later, she turned into a tree, and the man leaned against the tree and slept for a while.
Even if she has never married a man in her life, the girl is particularly satisfied and no longer looks forward to a reunion.
All this, as Sanmao said: "If there is an afterlife, be a tree, stand in an eternal posture without sorrow." Half serene in the dust, half flying in the air; half scattered in the shade, half soaked in the sun. ”
The people I meet are all fate, but whether they can be together or not is another matter. Forcing to hold hands, insisting on lifelong affection, is nothing more than wishful thinking.
It's best to boldly say "I love you" and watch over time, either or not.
The same is true of friendship and affection. Express your love with your heart, as to whether the other party can accept it, whether it is a positive response, it is another matter. What you have to do, has been done well, there are no regrets.
02
When talking, click to the end, don't pluck your heart and lungs.
Someone said: "The wine is less than a thousand cups per confidant, and the words are not speculative for more than half a sentence." ”
In this life, people can meet a companion who can talk, which seems very simple, but it is actually very difficult. Most partners, just when in love, say nothing, and after marriage, they start arguing endlessly.
All the love that didn't communicate, later died. Whose fault is this?
If you think about it, couples can't communicate together, not because they don't have time, not because they don't have words in each other's hearts, and no one can talk well. I always think that the other party should understand themselves and should be accommodating.
If the husband and wife are separated for a few days, it is "a small victory over the new marriage", and the scenery along the way can be said.
There is a saying: "Fish stink for three days, and people stay for three days to hate." ”
The freshness of the conversation was only three days. Even if you are close to your confidant, you can only eat a few meals and then go your separate ways, otherwise you will have nothing to say.
Therefore, no matter who you are with, chat to grasp the measure, any topic, point to the end, the deeper the exchange, the more will stimulate contradictions, different views, immediately exposed.
If you can, don't chat anytime, anywhere, and talk about it every few days, which is also a good thing.
03
When you are in fellowship, ask for what you need, and don't be trapped by your feelings.
Some people say: "To communicate with friends is to use each other." ”
Many people refuse to associate with others in order to protect their own interests. There are also some people who desperately squeeze into the circle for the sake of profit exchange.
True social masters rarely have deep friendships with people, but very directly propose "need to trade". Get things done, whether the feelings are good or not, it doesn't matter who takes advantage.
For example, a fisherman carries fish to the street to sell, sells the fish, and then goes to the fishing tackle shop to buy new nets. He and the fish buyers and the owners of the fishing tackle shop are very enthusiastic, but they are not friends, just "tool people" who make money.
"Brothers, clear accounting", can calculate the money clearly, although not close to people, but the relationship will be more smooth, and the relationship can be maintained for a longer time. On the contrary, those who calculate behind their backs and have a thin face are more likely to offend people.
People who are thin and cool, when interacting with people, will directly show their "utilitarianism" and conscientiously do a good job of "value exchange".
04
When separated, be okay with each other and don't get entangled.
Confucius's sixth grandson, Kong Pu, when he went out to play, friends stayed with him for a few days, and good wine and good food.
When parting, the friend was in tears, clinging to it, and sent a ride after a ride. Hole Puncture did not think so, but simply made a gesture, and then turned away.
The world laughed at him: "Unsympathetic." ”
Hole Pu replied: "Good boy, there should be a four-way ambition." ”
Everyone has their own way to go, can not force anyone to walk with themselves, rather than crying and crying goodbye, it is better to run their own future. As Confucius said, "The Tao is different, and it is not a conspiracy." ”
Difference is a difficult thing, but your heart is cold, it is not difficult at all.
Put the feelings of others in your heart, but there is no need to release them, do not dwell on them, so as not to think too much about them in the future and bring troubles.
Why can't people who let go be assured? It's just that you love too passionately and hurt yourself. It is better to put it down completely, one by one.
05
Bi Shumin wrote in "The Garden of Parenting Relations": "We must learn to be intimate with our parents, to listen and not to obey orders; to be close to each other and not to be confused with the people we love; to be friends with our children, to love without doing anything; and to know our friends without crossing the line." ”
Any kind of feeling, too warm, will become a "moth to the fire", although magnificent, but somewhat ignorant.
The best feelings should be thin and cool, not forcing fate, not disturbing at will, not repeatedly entangled, not penetrating life, not always hindering face, so that they will not be bothered and get along without getting tired.
Remove all disguises, but more real and sincere.
Author: Cloth coarse food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The illustrations in this article come from the Internet.