Only by taking the initiative to catch up with the girl you like, this is beyond doubt, after all, not everyone has Peng Yuyan's face and Ma Yun's money, we as an ordinary boy do not take the initiative to chase girls, may only be destined to be single for a lifetime. But if you are too proactive, it is not a good thing.
Below, let's take a look at what drawbacks will occur if chasing girls too actively.
1, the sense of demand is too obvious
A sense of need means that you express a desire for what you need. The word is placed in love, and the derived content is many and complex.
If you're just expressing yourself, with no further demands, and don't care about the end result of communicating with girls. Then your purpose and needs will not be exposed.
What should we do so as not to expose my purpose and needs?
In fact, it is not difficult, when you get along with her, don't treat her as a girl, as a generous chat with boys, only when you are natural, you are the most normal.
Of course, I know that this process can be difficult for many little brothers. But you can try to give her a masculine nickname first, for example, what rain brother, Da Nan, and get along with her as a brother.
Another point is that you don't have to think about asking each other out every time you chat, or all the foreshadowing is about her, which is not advisable! For example, when you're chatting with a girl and you compliment her, saying she's trendy attire, or that she has a great personality, it doesn't reveal your purpose and needs.
However, if you say that I like your character very much, or suddenly express your strong affection to the girl, it is called showing your needs and purpose.
Especially in the beginning, I could have been a normal friend. You give a lot to the girl as soon as you come up, and the girl will think what you want to do? I treat you as a friend and you want to soak me? So, when your relationship is getting familiar, show that you are interested in girls, but pay attention to the scale.
2, too considerate will only move themselves
When you like a girl, you are unreservedly considerate and loving to her. The first thing that comes to mind when I wake up every morning is her, trying to send him WeChat every day, booing and greeting warmth, and being considerate.
Remember to add clothes when it is cold, and remember to bring an umbrella when it rains. Does WeChat keep asking? Are you available? Did you play well today?
Rest early when you're tired...
Or try to ask each other out, say please eat, please watch a movie...
There are many more similar moves, but these high probabilities are all the same result:
The girl ignores you. Even the girls changed one after another.
But he has never been able to escape the pursuit of > overtures> he has been rejected> frustrated> inferiority> he is unwilling> continue to show kindness>> self-touching> self-fantasy> lose self-> licking... Such a vicious circle.
There is no doubt that such an upside-down emotional payment is difficult to have results. This kind of failure is actually a blow to one's own concept of love, and after too many failures, there may be learned helplessness that does not believe in love.
Sometimes you're dead set on being nice to her and giving her all you've got for her. Even she is the only one in your world, giving her considerate care in life, loving her emotionally, and pampering her! But it just moved itself.
She doesn't seem to appreciate it, you start to get anxious, try to confess, but you get a box lunch with a good guy card. The simple summary is that too active, blindly pay, the other party does not necessarily appreciate, and finally just touched themselves, but also harvested a scar.
3, will make yourself too nervous
Under normal circumstances, girls will always choose what they like. That's why licking a dog spare tire is hard to turn right. Like the girl you like because he gives a lot to you?
It's because she has traits that attract you, maybe it's personality, it's maybe it's looks. That's why you like her, and that's actually the case with that girl.
Being nice to her all the time when she doesn't like you can backfire. There is a term in psychology called mental antagonism, which can explain this phenomenon.
"Spiritual antagonism" means that when one psychology arises, there is often another psychology that is the opposite of it. Just like you feel embarrassed when you are praised, when you are afraid, the idea of "don't be afraid" will come to your mind.
This is originally a kind of correspondence and adjustment, but if this antagonism is too strong, there will be a problem: your desire to develop a relationship with girls is too strong, and your fear of failure will also surge;
If you are too harsh on the nervousness you show when you talk to her, you will force yourself to overcome it more, but if you can't overcome it, you will be more anxious.
In this case, a strong sense of frustration will come to you. Then, you become more afraid of failure, enter a vicious circle, and may end up not believing in love.
So how can boys chase girls to avoid these drawbacks?
First of all, don't do too little and think too much. Just get along with her like a regular friend.
There is a chance to hang out together, there is no chance to say hello once in a while, don't hold the mentality that she must not be, it will be very tiring.
It is also very important not to dwell on whether you are perfect in front of each other, but to feel the experience of the other party with your heart and let yourself enter the world of the other party.
It is undeniable that chasing girls does need to take the initiative, but this initiative also needs to have a degree, just the right initiative is to chase, too active is likely to become "licking", so if you want to chase the girl you want, it is better to control your sense of need.