Fish and bear paws cannot be combined in themselves, because not everyone can have a perfect life. And the imperfection of life, a little is the real life, and the regret is life.
She has won three Golden Phoenix Awards, three Little Hundred Flowers Awards for Best Actress, four Golden Rooster Awards... Looking at the present, the Golden Rooster Film Queen has always been an award that many actresses dream of getting.
She is quiet, elegant, generous, and anyone who sees her wants to say a word: a good temperamental actress.
Hot actresses, mild-mannered women, old drama bones with explosive acting skills, etc., these are the aura on her body. But her life is also full of regrets.
As she said on the show:
"In the eyes of others, I may be a successful person, but the price is too high, in fact, actresses should give up something at the age of marriage." 」
Career success is good for her, but for the 67-year-old, there is no lover around her, let alone a son and a daughter, for the later life, she regrets, even very lonely.
She is the actress - Pan Hong.
Pan Hong is so good that even the host Zhu Jun once said: "If I were about the same age as you, I would definitely pursue you." ”
Pan Hong originally had an enviable marriage, but because of her own reasons, the two divorced. After divorcing Mijiashan in 1986, Pan Hong has never remarried and lived alone for 36 years.
After women get married, many people can't juggle family and career at the same time, pan Hong is the same, she is a very strong woman, she never wants to be attached to men, she just wants to be her true self.
Childhood was mixed
Perhaps, for Pan Hong, the first half of her life was full of ups and downs and tragedies.
Pan Hong was born in Shanghai in 1954, her father was an old cadre, her mother was an accountant in the hospital, and she had two younger sisters, and their family conditions were very good.
But the happy life of a family of four stayed at the age when Pan Hong went to kindergarten.
Her father was beaten into a "rightist", and people around her also pointed fingers at them, Pan Hong's mother was very strong, and when her father fell, she carried the family alone.
But Pan Hong's mother's efforts did not wait for her husband's safe return, and when Pan Hong was 10 years old, her father died.
10-year-old Pan Hong, although she is very young, but she is very sensible, after the death of her father, her mother is very painful, in addition to comforting, she also helped her mother pack up her father's clothes, but also took the money from the urn to pick up her father at the crematorium.
In the doorman of the crematorium, she heard her father's embarrassment when he left, his father was barefoot, and he also took a lot of medicine, which was a heavy blow and a wake-up call for 10-year-old Pan Hong.
Pan Hong's father was from Harbin, and her mother still had to take care of her two younger sisters, so she entrusted her with the heavy responsibility of sending her father to Harbin.
She took the train for several days and nights, and sent her father home with a gray face, and on the way she looked at the scenery along the way, but her heart was full of endless sorrow.
Because of his father's departure, it means that there are only three wives and daughters left in the family.
The death of her father hit Pan Hong very hard, but she knew that she could only take care of herself and not let her mother worry, which was the greatest help to her mother.
Little Pan Hong has always wanted to find an opportunity to earn some pocket money for her family, and when she was in the second grade of elementary school, she waited for the opportunity.
The affiliated primary school of Shanghai Overseas Chinese College intends to recruit a group of outstanding students in their school, as long as they go up, there will be more opportunities, and Pan Hong is no exception.
She signed up decisively, but unfortunately, because of her father's problems before his death, she was not admitted. She was very disappointed, but sadness was never the best way to face life.
After experiencing all kinds of ups and downs and tribulations at home, Pan Hong no longer had a happy childhood, on the contrary, she began to become cold, giving people a feeling of loneliness and pride.
Despite the unsatisfactory life, Pan Hong secretly swore in her heart that she would definitely let her mother and sisters live a good life in the future.
Pan Hong's strength may be her last stubbornness and refusal to lose, because she is not willing to live an ordinary and simple life, and turning the tables against the wind is what she has to do.
Encounter happiness, security
Shortly after her father's death, her mother took the three of them back to her grandmother, her original name was Liu Ronghua, because her father was absent, her mother changed her name to Pan Hong.
Pan Hong's cultural achievements have always been the top in the class, in the blink of an eye, Pan Hong grew up, 17-year-old, successfully cut in the team in Chongming Island.
But she is not willing to let her life end like this, she cut in line while learning, her efforts will one day be rewarded.
In 1973, Pan Hong was successfully admitted to the acting department of the Shanghai Theater Academy with her appearance and culture classes, and she and Xi Meijuan were classmates.
Fate seemed to be fair to Pan Hong, she took the acceptance letter and rushed all the way home, just to tell her mother the good news, she hugged her mother and burst into tears.
Because in those years of being snubbed, only they knew how difficult it was.
In school, Pan Hong puts in more effort than others, because if she wants to be a good person, she has to grit her teeth and pay more sweat than others.
Pan Hong is very strong, so that after graduation, the director of E Film Studio once took a fancy to her not to accept defeat, and after an interview, he decided to finalize Pan Hong to play the heroine in "Slave's Daughter".
What she didn't know was that here she met the love and regret of this life. That is, her ex-husband Mijiashan, who is an artist at the upper film studio.
He has a beard, his appearance is not very high, and he is 8 years older than Pan Hong, but the two are getting along and leaving a good impression on each other.
Mijiashan is Pan Hong's first love, pan Hong, who has no father to rely on since childhood, has supported so many years alone, and she also wants to find a shoulder that can be relied on.
The appearance of Mijiashan made her feel that the man in front of her, although his appearance was not very outstanding, his soul was interesting, and the key was that they had a lot of common topics together.
One after another, the young, beautiful and famous Pan Hong fell in love with Mijiashan, who was like a father and a brother.
Although Mi Jiashan is the child of a high-ranking cadre, if there are conditions in the family, he will not be allowed to work as a small artist with no name.
After they were together, the relationship was not recognized, and after a year of love, Pan Hongyi married Mijiashan without hesitation.
Because she wants, Mijiashan can give her, she doesn't care about the gossip of the outside world.
Sometimes, plain happiness is the truest face of life, just like Pan Hong and Mijiashan in love.
Married for 8 years without wanting children
After getting married, they are still doing their previous work, MiJiashan is still an artist, and Pan Hong has become a hot female star.
In 1978, Pan Hong became a hit with "Distressed Laughter", and she also became "three golden flowers" with Liu Xiaoqing and Jiang Lili.
Although this drama has brought many honors to Pan Hong, it has also made her married life precarious.
It is normal for actors and actresses to spread gossip, and Pan Hong also spread a scandal with Yang Yanjin, and Yang Yanjin's wife Hong Rong made a big fuss on the set.
Hong Rong is also an actress, and she directly posted Pan Hong's love letter for Yang Yanjin because she wanted to "ruin" Pan Hong.
Yang Yanjin's wife is not easy to mess with, so is Pan Hong's husband, and in order to protect Pan Hong, Mijiashan rushed directly to Yang Yanjin's home and smashed his home.
Chong Guan's anger into a red face, although touching, but no matter what he did, there was still a rift between him and Pan Hong.
Yang Yanjin finally divorced Hong Rong, and he was also punished, as for Pan Hong and Mi Jiashan, the marriage between the two did not break down because of this.
But what Mi Jiashan thought was that the two of them had been married for so long, and they didn't have a child, and with a child, Maybe Pan Hong would take care of the family a little more, and maybe the feelings of the two would heat up with a child.
But Pan Hong does not want children at this time, because she wants to lay a foundation in her career. Although Mi Jiashan was very unhappy in his heart, he loved Pan Hong very much, and he was willing to do anything for her.
So in order to help Pan Hong, he decided to study at the Beijing Film Academy and wanted to become a director.
For the child, MiJiashan did not give up, but Pan Hong, who was obsessed with her career, did not pay attention, just like many years later, she recalled: the ideas of her youth were just her vanity.
When Pan Hong was filming "Du Shiniang", she did not go home for a year and a half, which was unstable for her and MiJiashan.
In addition to Mijiashan, Pan Hong's family is also advising her: "Take advantage of the young to have a child" "Become a mother, you can also continue to shoot"...
For these words, Pan Hong at this time could not listen to them at all, because almost all around her were married and had children, and she really did not want the life of chai rice oil and salt.
Mi Jiashan could not persuade her, pan Hong also felt tired, she only wanted to live her own life.
In 1986, the two ended their 8-year marriage and divorced peacefully.
There is a kind of love called letting go
"We are all too obsessed with the cause, no one will sacrifice anything for each other, and we all know too well the importance of the cause to each other, and neither of us will ask each other to sacrifice anything for themselves." 」
This is what Pan Hong said after the divorce.
She thought that between her and Mijiashan, there would always be a career, they could not communicate, there was no compromise between the two people, and neither of them would take a step back.
After starting a family, home is a haven for everyone, but for Pan Hong, 8 years of marriage, the time when zheng'er bajing is together, is only one year.
She ignored the meaning of home itself, which may be related to her experience since childhood, so that she was misunderstood, became a home, and simply thought that home did not need care and communication.
It can be said that love is
What the
？ Pan Hong did not understand at a deep level, nor did she use her heart to understand.
After the divorce, Pan Hong has been immersed in her career, and she has not looked for it for many years.
On the contrary, after the divorce, Mijiashan also talked about a vigorous love. Mi Jiashan once had a relationship with Wang Xiaoya, they were 21 years apart, no matter how passionate the relationship was, but in the end they could not get married.
After Wang Xiaoya broke up with Mijiashan, he found a real estate tycoon to marry, and in 1996, Wang Xiaoya and Lu successfully married, and in less than 5 years, they divorced.
After the divorce, Wang Xiaoya spent 8 years adjusting her emotions and marrying Cao Jianming in a low profile.
Looking at Mijiashan, there is a Wang Xiaoya emotionally, he is really similar to Pan Hong, he is very talented in directing, and his "Stubborn Lord" successfully won the Golden Rooster Award.
The heroine of "The Stubborn Lord" is Pan Hong, and the two did not part ways because of divorce, but Pan Hong also became reflective, and she also had a lot of femininity.
But after all, they are in the past tense, and no one mentions marriage again. Pan Hong continues to shine in the show business circle, and she has always maintained contact with Mi Jiashan.
When she heard the news of Mijiashan, if it was a happy event, she would secretly be happy for him, and if it was a bad thing, she would be worried and anxious to call him and ask what was going on.
In addition to private concern, Pan Hong also said in public: "Mijiashan is always unique, no one can be better than him" "She will care about him in this life."
Pan Hong said such things many times, maybe she was waiting for Mijiashan to take the initiative to find her again.
Maybe she has been thinking about the past, if she hadn't been so persistent, if she hadn't worked so hard for her career, some of her and Mijiashan's children would have become a family.
But there has never been a regret medicine in the world to eat, in 2018, Pan Hong went to the hospital alone to see a doctor, she was slightly lonely, will she regret her original decision?
The answer may be erratic, because now Pan Hong seems to be making up for the mistakes of that year, and she has always cared and cared about Mijiashan.
If there is a chance to start again, who wants to be alone?
Some people will ask, Pan Hong and Mi Jiashan have not each started a family, why didn't they come together?
The reason is simple, because there is a kind of love called letting go, after all, they have really loved it.