Reporter's Note: Filial piety is not far away, it is where my heart belongs, and it is also where my body is.
More than 300 days and nights, 42-year-old Ren Huan had never thought that she was preoccupied with her career, and now she would let her work press the "pause button" and accompany her mother for 24 hours.
In March last year, Huan Ma's Alzheimer's disease developed to a severe degree, and her memory turned into quicksand and gradually disappeared, and she even regarded Ren Huan as a "sister".
Two months later, Ren Huan resigned from a listed financial company, gave up his million-dollar annual salary job, and returned home to take care of his mother. Singing together, relearning arithmetic, traveling together... Everything, just to let the mother's memory slip away slower, slower.
A decision to resign
March, Shanghai. The 68-year-old Huan Mom sat on the living room sofa and smiled happily at the TV.
Ren Huan sat on the sidelines, chatting with her mother from time to time, trying to evoke her memories. Huan's mother looked up at her daughter, with a smile on her face, and suddenly her mouth wrinkled into a mess, causing a small awkwardness, but after a while, she began to doze off again.
The mother becomes a "child", all of which started more than 4 years ago.
What made Ren Huan feel wrong was that Huan Ma, who had always had a very good sense of direction, began to find her way.
One morning, Huan's mother went out to take out the garbage, and she didn't come back for almost half an hour. Remembering the previous signs, Ren Huan's family went out en masse and finally found Huan Mama in the park near the community.
Seeing Ren Huan running breathlessly, Huan's mother looked confused, couldn't tell why she was here, and didn't know where to go back, laughing happily alone, laughing ren Huan burst into tears...
Ren Huan knew that her mother was sick.
After going to the hospital for examination, Huan Mama was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. Ren Huan knew that this disease would make Huan's mother's memory feel like it had been deleted, gradually forgetting herself and her daughter.
Ren Huan is a native of Kaizhou, Chongqing, who has worked in Beijing and Shanghai, worked hard all the way into a listed company, and achieved the position of product director with an annual salary of one million.
She can't go back to her hometown several times a year because of her busy work, and her parents often fly to see her. Discovering that his mother was ill, Ren Huan left his parents in Shanghai to live together. She knew that her father was not in good health, had had cirrhosis of the liver for more than 10 years, and it was becoming more and more difficult to take care of Huan's mother. She desperately wanted to squeeze out more time to spend with her mother. But often when she came home from work, Huan's mother had already slept.
"Sister!" One day, Ren Huan suddenly heard Huan's mother calling her.
"I'm your daughter, I'm Rejoicing."
But her mother still didn't recognize her. Ren Huan blushed urgently. She didn't know what to say, what to do, to convince her mother.
She hid in the toilet and cried bitterly.
As an only child, Ren Huan enjoys the 100% love of her parents. From college to work, Ren Huan went out and went farther and farther, although Huan Mama had a thousand reluctances in her heart, she always unconditionally supported her to pursue her dreams.
"You can find a job again, you can earn money at any time, but no amount of money can buy time with your mother." This time, Ren Huan made the decision: quit his job and go home to spend time with his mother.
A race against time
Companionship, is 24 hours.
Alzheimer's disease brings not only forgetfulness to mothers, but also sleep disorders, symptoms such as self-awareness, vision, hearing, and motor ability, which are irreversible.
Ren Huan could no longer remember the first time he had been woken up by Huan Ma in the middle of the night. Huan's mother stood by the bed with her backpack on her back, asking Ren Huan to take her home.
Repeated explanations, coaxing to sleep, leading downstairs in the early morning to "go home"... Ren Huan used all kinds of methods to accompany Huan's mother through these "memory fragments" moments.
One night passed, Huan Mama completely forgot what had happened, and like a child, sat at the table and waited for the "answer", sang, and then got the reward - the favorite durian.
The so-called "answering questions" is that Ren Huan accompanies Huan's mother in brain rehabilitation training. She took out a red envelope containing cash ranging from 100 yuan to 100 yuan to 10 yuan for Huan Ma to learn to calculate the account simply, and she would also prepare a microphone for Huan Ma to sing a song and practice memory through lyrics. Huan Mama sometimes "plays" happily and is very cooperative, but emotionally, she will suddenly lose her temper towards Ren Huan.
When it was time to take the medicine, Huan Ma spread her hands: "I am not sick, why should I eat this?" She would quietly hide the medicine or spit out the medicine she had just taken. Ren Huan has coaxed and rushed, she will also remember her childhood: doing homework is always running god, unhappy and throwing tantrums, her mother has not been angry with her, always patiently educating her; when she is sick, no matter how late, her mother will hold her and always stay by her side...
Ren Huan gradually felt that Huan Mama just returned to the simple state of a child, asking people to coax them to eat, asking people to play with them, and they would lose their temper, but they would also smile at you. What she has to do is to race against time and make her mother as happy as possible, even if the memory will eventually slip away.
For more than 300 days, Beijing, Shenzhen, Hangzhou, Zhejiang... Ren Huan took Huan Ma to travel to more than 10 places. "My mom is optimistic and outgoing, and when she can't stay at home, she likes to go out and play and watch movies." Ren Huan also often takes his mother to the cinema, even if a movie is down, Huan Mama basically slept in the past, but looking at huan mama's excited appearance when entering, Ren Huan felt that it was enough.
Relatives and friends have also given her advice: please a nurse! But Ren Huan felt that taking care of Huan's mother, she had to understand her preferences and ponder her emotions, which the nurse could not replace.
She also plans to take Huan's mother to Xinjiang when the epidemic is better, where she once lived, where she may evoke memories of her mother's past.
A "difficult two- and two-factor" thinking
Accompanied by more than 300 days and nights, Ren Huan has never been so intimately integrated with his mother's life since he became an adult. Ren Huan filmed the daily life of the mother and daughter into a video and put it on the short video platform. "Huan Ma stole candy", "Huan Ma talked to the video to himself", "Huan Ma washed the dishes and counted the number"... In this way, Ren Huan wants to leave a memory for himself and his mother, and also heal more people with similar experiences.
Some family members of the same Alzheimer's group saw the video and contacted Ren Huan to share her nursing experience. For each suggestion, she studied it carefully and did not want to miss any opportunity to prolong The memory of Huan Ma.
Companionship was not in vain, and the most recent review of Huan Mama, although the score on the Alzheimer's disease assessment dropped again, from 11 points to 8 points. But the doctor said that Huan Ma's mental state could not be seen at all as a severe patient, which was inseparable from the careful care of her family. Hearing this, Ren Huan had the motivation to persevere.
While accompanying his mother, Ren Huan himself grew up again. She used to be unable to do housework, but now she washes dishes, does laundry, and keeps her home in order. Although she has not yet become a mother, she has deeply realized the difficulty of Huan Ma bringing up herself.
"Before resigning, I was most afraid of receiving a phone call from my father, and I was worried that my mother would be gone again." Ren Huan admitted that withdrawing from the competition in the workplace and returning home to accompany his mother has also faced the "dilemma" choice of career and family. But now, as long as she can accompany her mother whose memories are gradually passing, everything else is secondary to her. She said she was fortunate to have the support of her whole family. Relying on her husband's income and savings from previous years, her current life is also guaranteed.
Ren Huan also plans to start a business or find a relatively free time job, which can take care of family and work to give his parents a better life.
This year, she made a wish that time would go more slowly and take her mother to more places.
(This article is from the new Chongqing client APP, please go to the major application markets to download)