Text/Tang Ruo
Tang Ruoxin learns original works, and those who violate them will be investigated
In life, everyone aspires to be a strong person in the heart, the inner strength is not from the tempering of life, if a person's inner mind is not built, a person's heart is not aware and awakened, then in the face of life, he may be complaining about the world, rather than embracing life everywhere.
When you fully open your heart, when you think and build yourself in a careful way, your life will really open up.
How to open their own hearts, how to be truly strong inside, a person with a strong heart, often the inner mental construction has gone through four levels, and the fourth level is often the highest level.
The first level, with me as my honor, is born of suffering
In this world, the reason why many people suffer is essentially that we ask for it. Because we are just living in our own world, living in a world where we are proud of ourselves.
We think that others need to love us unconditionally, and in this state of mind, our inner mind is still stuck in a primitive instinctive stage, just like the infant stage, thinking that others need to cooperate with him, and if they do not cooperate, they will cry and solve it in a crying way.
In this state of mind, our minds are not only unable to grow, but also because of excessive self-centeredness, which leads to more interpersonal conflicts and various misunderstandings with others.
Students often consult with me about the troubles of growing up, and I find that the vast majority of the troubles are living in their own world, and not knowing enough about the world of others will lead to communication problems.
True strength begins with stepping out of the world of self-esteem, and when you find that your feelings are important, remember that other people's feelings are equally important.
The second level, norm-led, seeks outward
If we want to be strong inside, we often go through the second stage, which is the habit of measuring ourselves by the standards of the mainstream of the outside world.
At this stage, we will use the norms and requirements of the outside world to evaluate ourselves. At this time, we are accustomed to respecting external authority, external theories, and we will judge with external theories and authorities.
For example, we all know that it's bad to be loud in public, but there are times when we need to understand that each individual actually has differences in understanding.
Some of these differences may occur in some people because of the different things they encounter, and if we lack a rich enough understanding of life, we cannot understand the differences of some people.
A writer once told me that once when he was on the subway, a father with a few children poured into the subway and made a loud noise.
The writer showed a disdainful expression and wanted to remind the other party. But then his father told the writer that the children had just experienced the loss of their mothers in the morning and might not have calmed down.
Although external norms are important, we also need to understand that many times there will be an individual difference, and at this time, our understanding of things and external tolerance are important enough.
If we lack empathy and compassion for people, we will see the rules as more important than anything else, but this lack of empathy rules has the potential to subject our lives to more repression and suffering.
Therefore, it is very important to learn to objectively see the appropriateness and appropriateness of each person's external standards, and when you understand adaptability, your life will have more room for expansion.
The third level, autonomous orientation, is very assertive
If we want to make our hearts strong, our minds escalate to the third level and tend to be autonomously oriented. In this stage of autonomous orientation, we will look at the problem from the perspective of others.
But in essence, we still follow our own perspective, we will use the perspective of others to strengthen our own ideas and opinions, but we still have an absolute understanding of our own ideas and opinions.
When you reach this stage, we tend to appear particularly assertive, but too much assertiveness tends to invade the opinions of others, and it is easy for us to impose our own opinions on others, and we will think that we are absolutely correct, and this absolute correctness also brings a strong pressure to the people around us.
At this stage, we are often easy to become strong people in the outside, on the surface we seem to be very capable, but in fact, we are still very weak inside, because we know that we are very afraid of denial, very afraid of others' lack of recognition of us.
So at this time to learn to correctly look at the formation of our ideas and views is very important, when you understand the formation process of your own ideas and views, you may understand that all concepts and views are the product of our growth, do not stick to the concept, but with a changing mentality to look at their own ideas and views, can make our hearts more powerful.
The fourth level, vipassana self-change, harmony and harmony
If we want to make ourselves ultimately strong, the most important thing is to learn to look at ourselves. At this level, we don't cling to any ideas or opinions.
Rather, it is a profound understanding that any concept and viewpoint is a product of an era, and that time and space have changed, and concepts will also change.
Therefore, instead of sticking to concepts and changes, but adjusting our own concepts and changes according to time and space, our lives will be more harmonious.
Advanced growth is to learn to look at self-change, to know how to see and understand multidimensional perspectives, and at the same time to constantly innovate their own concepts with the help of these different perspectives, rather than sticking to their own concepts is the most advanced person, but also a person with a strong heart.
Inner strength is never to stick to our own ideas, but according to the changes in time and space, choose the concept that suits us best, which is our greatest responsibility for ourselves, and it is also our highest wisdom.
The highest level of wisdom is not to live in their own world, but to integrate themselves into the whole, to look at themselves, to look at their own choices, to make their choices better fit the times and the present, and to make their choices promote the progress of the times and the development of civilization, which is our highest pursuit and growth.
When you understand that vipassana is self-changing, no one can hit you, no one can hurt you, and you will know how to make the best choice based on your inner conscience.
A good life is a process of becoming more harmonious with ourselves, and it is also a process that makes us more flexible, and when you have such a perspective and concept, your life will be fully opened, and nature will become more and more powerful inside.
Today's topic: Do you think that a person who is strong in heart needs to upgrade his mind, you have reached the first level, welcome to discuss and communicate.