Sohu Fashion 2022 Goddess Day [be your own big heroine] exclusive planning of the third issue, after 90 Hu Yubing reading, love, marriage, and giving birth to a daughter all the way smoothly, but when accompanying her husband to the United States to study for a doctorate, she became a "desperate housewife". In the darkest moments of her life, she found her self-confidence and self-confidence through her second examination and second job search.
She hopes to use her story to tell her female friends who are as well educated as she is but have a career bottleneck because of marriage and children: Don't believe the seemingly bright winner stories of life, everyone may encounter a low, and only by trying to run in the direction of the light can we see the light again.
A talented girl from a famous school with excellent character and excellent learning, she became a desperate housewife after going abroad to accompany her
My name is Hu Yubing, 32 years old, the mother of a 7-year-old girl, a teacher, and now teaches at a university in Hong Kong.
I got good grades all the way, and I was sent to The North. After completing undergraduate studies, he went to Hong Kong for graduate school, then returned to Beijing to work, got married, and soon had his own baby.
I probably thought I'd been living like this until one day my husband said to me, "I want to quit my job and want to go to the United States to study for my Ph.D." Unexpectedly, he quickly applied for a full scholarship. So we began to work intensively to prepare visas and go abroad. Little did I know that this decision meant to me that the next two years would be a very painful period of struggle.
After coming to the United States, I found myself as a dependent, which means that I have no right to work. So I became a down-to-earth housewife, and every day I was faced with picking up and dropping off the children, washing and cooking, washing the toilet, cleaning the bathroom, and this kind of small thing made people feel unfulfilled.
(Hu Yubing and daughter)
One of the things that irritated me the most was that one day I wanted to go to the bank to open an account, but found that because of my identity problem, the bank felt that I was a high-risk person and asked me to take my husband's identity materials to guarantee me, so that I could successfully open my first account in the United States. This incident made me feel greatly insulted.
On the other hand, my husband and I lived on his meager scholarship, and our lives were indeed stretched, and we were in such a hopeless state for a long time, we didn't understand each other, and sometimes we would lose our temper with each other, and it felt like my life was simply terrible.
At that time, after sending my child to kindergarten, I would lie in bed and tears would not stop flowing. Once I was particularly impressed, I wanted to steam sweet potatoes, the knife was relatively blunt, I cut it with one knife, the whole person froze, I cut three fingers at the same time... I didn't dare to go to the emergency room, because the emergency department in the United States is very expensive, and I don't even remember how the blood was stopped in the end...
(Snow in Boston)
Taking the examination as a life-saving straw, he resigned three years later and tasted the taste of earning money again
I couldn't help it, and finally in the summer of the following year, I took the children back to my hometown and met my long-lost parents. They saw my situation and suggested to me, "Boy, do you want to go to a book?" Maybe it will get you back to a normal state of life quickly. ”
I felt a sense of hope, and I quickly returned to the United States with my children and began preparing for the TOEFL and GMAT.
I still take the children during the day, after the free time to do housework, and after the children go to bed, I am alone in the corridor, listening to the bedroom with my ears open, whether the children will suddenly wake up, and at the same time, I am immersed in the questions here.
I was actually very good at English since I was a child, but I didn't expect that I only scored 96 points on the TOEFL for the first time! Went to the test again, how to get stuck in 98 points again! "Oh my God! Why did I suck so badly? This is the English I've been proud of since I was a kid! "It wasn't until the third TOEFL test that I finally scored 108 points, and I got a scholarship as I wished.
After enrolling, everything went very smoothly because this opportunity was won by myself and I cherished it very much. I always sit in the first row in class and fight to answer questions, and I feel rejuvenated.
(Participated in the school's freshman activities and won the lottery)
In the spring of 2020, I started looking for internships. At that time, the epidemic in the United States began to break out, and many companies completely stopped recruiting, but I had already made so much effort at that time, I didn't want to give up, and I really found a good opportunity to go to the commercial department of a top pharmaceutical company in the world to do data visualization and analysis.
The internship was paid on a weekly basis, and after a week on the job, I had about $1,000 more in my bank account, and I was very excited. This is the first time I've earned dollars! I feel like I'm back on my feet and getting a decent income with my own hands. The more significant point is that it has been almost 3 years since I resigned, this is the first time in 3 years that I have re-entered the account, and it is through my own work and hard work, and the sense of accomplishment is very, very strong, I feel as if everything is hopeful again, everything is still too late.
(Found an internship during the epidemic, just got a laptop and company souvenir sent by the company)
Ten years after graduation, he returned to his alma mater to teach, and his uncertain life had a new beginning
My husband and I graduated successfully and he quickly found a good job in Hong Kong. After making the decision to follow him back to Hong Kong, I suddenly panicked again. Because I thought I was going to look for a job in the U.S., all my early directions were to lean in that direction, and now I'm forced to disrupt my plans.
At that time, I was also more courageous, boldly contacting the teachers and classmates of my former alma mater. I sent a WeChat message to a teacher saying that I am now going back to Hong Kong to find a job, and if you have good resources, please refer me. The teacher was very enthusiastic, he said, you go to so-and-so teacher, they are preparing to build a new project, just in combination with the data science you are learning now.
I hurried to contact. The other person said that you need to give a course syllabus within a week, which should be very detailed. That week, I kept searching for information and reading books on the Internet, preparing a lot of books, and finally held out such a plan. The contract was signed quickly, classes officially began in September, and by January this year, the semester was completely put on and off.
(Hu Yubing and students)
It was all magical, I never imagined that one day I would go back to my alma mater to teach, and I was a liberal arts student, and I would actually teach a course on data, everything was incredible, but it did happen. Another interesting point is that ten years ago, when I first graduated from Hong Kong, I was a poor student, alone, and I returned to Hong Kong after ten years, this time dragging my family back to my alma mater to teach. Life is really emotional, sometimes I feel really frustrated, but once you pass, you will feel that there are some different wonderful, that is, you can't give up.
Don't envy the bright and beautiful surface, the new turning point in life is often after gritting your teeth and insisting
I found that I have a group of girls like me around me, they are well educated, and there will be a stage after marriage and children that want to return to the workplace, but they will find that it is not so easy to get back into the workplace. I hope that my story can bring some inspiration to everyone, not that it is inspiring, but you will see that you are not alone in the struggle, this may be a social problem, people are often covered up by other people's glamorous experiences, but in fact, the confidence and light you brush in the video, in fact, she will have inner dissatisfaction and struggle in private. At this time, everyone must grit their teeth and insist on it, and there will be a new turning point in life.
Produced by Sohu Fashion
Producer: Fan Yijun
Content planning: Huang Siwei, Zhuang Wei
Video Planner: Yang Shaojie
Post-production: Zoe
Fine Arts: Zhang Ce