Looking back, it's like a world away. If you don't accidentally look at the photos, see that once went to the sky (skydiving) and went to the sea (diving) with a passion for blood, dare to walk alone in India for half a year, but also dare to carry a simple travel bag, wandering in the tropical rainforest of South America, but also because I like, stubbornly in Bali to create their dream of health space, but also dare to be cheeky After being rejected, shamelessly run to the customer company again and again and asked: In what way can I improve, so that next time I have the opportunity to get a similar project?
In the end, life was not only smoothed out by my edges and corners, but also by the enthusiasm that poured out my enthusiasm. No matter how far I go, I have seen more beautiful scenery, I have lost my original passion, life has become a suffocating backwater, no matter how tossed and turned, I can't turn over half a wave.
Do you also have the pressure of being chased by life and unable to breathe?
Thanks to the epidemic, finally completely zeroed everything out. Closing the studio and breaking up with my ex-boyfriend, who I thought would be with me for the rest of my life, I felt like a duckweed floating in the sea, with no direction, no motivation, and could be torn apart by real life at any time.
Life is realistic and cruel: moving away from a downtown house and moving to a quieter suburb; quitting the daily brunch with new elements (unfortunately, my favorite restaurant that has accompanied me for many years eventually closed) and start preparing three meals a day; not going to the gym, but starting to run outdoors; uninstalling the taxi software, changing travel to shared bicycles and bus subways, and starting to travel green!
Yes, all the changes I've made aren't because I'm advocating health, it's for a simple reason: save money, open source and throttle!
It was also during that time that I truly experienced the magic of physical and mental separation, inner conflict, and when anxiety and fear struck, I had no power to fight back. While trying to push myself forward, I also tried to think about Plan B, Plan C, Plan D. ... And then I realized that all these alternatives, just different ways of retreating and surrendering, did not help me get what I really wanted, only made my escape more embarrassing.
Too many choices can make us forget what we really want
We all know that whether it is fried or boiled, we can cook a fragrant food, and the life that has been tormented is the same, full of five flavors, but I have had enough of the inner torment, I decided to fight once.
I am grateful for the meditation that I have always insisted on practicing, no matter how flustered I am, I always help me calm my mind again and again, and let me persevere. It was also during the meditation that I tried to soothe the anxiety and panic in my heart, and I realized a problem: my attention was focused on what I didn't want and I tried to reconcile with them, so why not just let them make room for what I wanted?
But what do I really want? The question of who I am and who I want to be, which has puzzled me for a long time, has once again been lifted up. But this time, effortlessly, I already had the answer: no longer disguise, no longer whitewash, and be true to myself.
Feel tired, hug yourself who is doing your best for life
For the first time, I was actually interested in my embarrassing situation and full of curiosity: how do I take myself out of the trough, how can I get out of it?
The mountains and rivers are full of doubts and there is no way, and the willows are dark and the flowers are bright and another village! I no longer felt embarrassed by my predicament, and the voice of self-doubt faded away. The 20-square-meter rental house is rented, but life is my own, I strive to make the 20-square-meter space into my own warm nest; I also enjoy the singing of birds and the sunshine sprinkled on the body when running outdoors, running, and many dead knots in my heart slowly begin to loosen. It was also meditation and running that made me understand that if you are stuck in life, then try to make the mind and body move at the same time, there is always one that can pull us out of the stuck state.
It is also ridiculous to think that the way I started at the age of 40 is the opposite of what I once planned: I did not live in the idyllic countryside of beautiful mountains and rivers, but lived in the bustling Shanghai; I did not become a successful entrepreneur, but touched a nose of ash; I did not walk hand in hand with my lover, but ran to things; I did not become the "success" that others and I expected, but became the most typical negative teaching material for friends and family.
After walking half the world and finally returning to the original point, it seems that life and I have made a joke, but I can't laugh out, and my heart is full of sad tears. But as I cried, I burst out laughing: Great, could it be worse than that?
The 20-square-meter cottage was built into a home by me
Of course there was, and it was unexpected. The goal is clear, and I no longer leave a way out for myself: throw away what I don't want, and only pursue what I want. After nearly two months, from online to offline, from Beijing to Shanghai, I finally found my favorite job, and the new chapter of my life slowly opened in a piece of hope. How much hope there is, how much disappointment there will be.
I am grateful for the unforgettable work experience that made me unforgettable, forcing out the flood power in my body and letting me out of the hard shell that I have spent many years building! An egg, if broken from the outside, becomes at most an omelette or poached egg, and if it is broken from the inside, it is life! I was grateful for the short-term job that I thought would become my new career, and for the first time I felt the vigorous power of inner vitality.
In the mind is stuffed with all kinds of work trivialities, from top to bottom PUA, to work 12 hours a day on weekends and still have continuous information, and even wake up in the middle of the night, there is still work-related content left in the mind. Every day carefully walking in the open gun and dark arrows, soaked in verbal violence every day, I experienced for the first time that the original language will become a bloodless Lingchi, I also experienced for the first time that the pressure of work can really make people breathless, and I have experienced an unhealthy environment that can really make people become cold-blooded, ruthless, selfish, and even cruel.
There is much more to life than work
I am grateful to those colleagues who actively cooperate with the hard work, it is precisely because of their exquisite interpretation and pure skills that stimulate the power of flood in my body, and I realize that the so-called sense of security can only be obtained through the most unsafe way.
After straightening out complex relationships, filling in countless pits, and even producing antibodies to PUA, and in the meditation on the second day after the company proposed a year after the salary increase, I clearly heard the call of my heart: resignation!
It was also in meditation that the vision of development that I had been quietly hiding in the computer for a long time became more and more vivid, and I knew that that was what I wanted, and I also knew that it was also needed by many people like me who were caught in the middle of the inner volume and about to suffocate. After all, many people are carrying weights under the high pressure of the workplace, after all, many people are also overwhelmed by the pressure of life like me. But the inner scroll is not the answer, let the more tightly rolled out the flowers, let everyone who is wrapped in the middle breathe freely and bloom with the vitality of life is the answer!
In the inner volume, try to reverse the volume and leave a glimmer of life for yourself
If each of us were only full of affirmation and praise for the king of the scroll, rather than envy and jealousy; if each of us began to cheer for the success of our relatives and friends around us instead of being jealous or flattering; if each of us were full of sympathy and support for the failures and downfalls of others instead of judging; if each of us actively supported our own dreams, believed in ourselves, and believed in and supported the dreams of others, how different would the world be, how different would you be, and how different would he be? How will we all be different?
The desire to be recognized, affirmed, seen, loved, and supported is the basic need of everyone, then boldly and positively say your needs, treat others with the attitude you want to be treated, and eventually everyone will be gentle and right, and there will be more breathing and living space.
If we all work together to create a harmonious and supportive community, support each other's dreams, cheer for each other's success, support each other's growth, leave more space for each other, and leave us future generations with better growth space and more resources, they will not become victims of the inner volume!
The most important things in life are free, like air, friendship, love, and freedom
I know I'm not alone because I know you're here, he's here, they're here, we're all here. Welcome to pay attention to me, through effortlessly fine-tuning their lifestyle, through mastering their own thinking, regain control of their work life, make work more satisfactory, make life more beautiful, but also make themselves more healthy and happy!
Last advertising time: Starting February 22nd, my 3-week "Mutual Aid Bloom Camp" on how to reduce stress and relieve emotions in real time, improve work efficiency and interpersonal relationships will start. The camp will share a lot of practical tips for real-time stress reduction and emotional management, and how to get a glimpse of what you really want through the future picture, including how to improve the unhealthy working and living environment through self-regulation, make the work life more balanced, and how to activate your life energy, re-believe in yourself, and embrace the good life!
If you feel that your life is a little stuck, if you also feel that the future is indefinite, if you also feel lost, if you are also struggling to find a satisfactory job, if you are also facing financial pressure, if you also feel lonely and empty, if you also feel frustrated, you are not lonely, because you have experienced all this, I have experienced, even countless times. Stay tuned to learn more about the camp.
Author @ Brahman Life Introduction: Life is always full of a lot of troubles, with a Brahman heart to resolve the troubles in life. Meditate for 10 minutes a day, live mindfully, and let life increase joy and calmness by 10%, and reduce stress and anxiety by 10%. Welcome to follow me and start @Brahman Life!