At the opening of the Beijing Winter Olympics, Gu Ailing became a hot spot.
I don't want to rub hot spots, I just want to correct the deviations for everyone.
Let's take a look at a hot topic of online discussion:
Bai Yansong: Gu Ailing's mother usually calculates the time to arrange Gu Ailing's life and study, but there is one thing that must be done, that is, to sleep enough for 10 hours. Gu Ailing also believes that this is the secret of his success. All of us parents and teachers also have to think about how many children can sleep enough for 10 hours? Will you be able to sleep enough for 10 hours in the future?
I understand Bai Yansong's good intentions very well, but to be honest, for most Chinese parents, it is basically impossible to learn from Gu Ailing's mother.
It is not that it cannot be learned, or even that it must be learned, but it should be combined with reality and not blind.
Gu Ailing's achievements today are inseparable from her superior family education environment. Becoming an Olympic champion requires talent, but also hard and scientific training. And this kind of training, must start from an early age, parents in the early years and even adolescent training stage, can play a decisive role.
Insisting on getting enough 10 hours a day is just a small side. I think she must be like basketball star Jeremy Lin, who can be strictly disciplined.
Most sports stars are quite disciplined.
Many years ago, Jeremy Lin dined with a TV host, and the host found that every dish, Jeremy Lin would ask what the ingredients were, and if it did not meet his recipe, he would not move a little bit.
The media publicly reported that Su Bingtian, a 100-meter flyer, only drank the water he brought when he went out, and never slept later than 10 o'clock every day.
This extreme self-discipline is the guarantee of their success.
Gu Ailing is about the same, although we only know a scale and a half claws.
Many parents are surging in their hearts and are eager to slap their children dozens of times a day, so that he has strict self-discipline and becomes the second "Gu Ailing".
Or that sentence: the mood is understandable, but I still have to hit you (always take pleasure in this), haha.
Learning is very good, but you must remember: if you can't do the level of Gu Ailing's parents, don't expect your child to be as disciplined as Gu Ailing.
If you want to have excellent children, you must first become an excellent parent; if you want your child to be strictly self-disciplined, parents must first be strictly self-disciplined.
The reason why Gu Ailing is excellent is first of all that her parents are excellent, or at least relatively excellent (of course, compared with me, it is special and extremely excellent).
If you want to learn, start with this: strict self-discipline – strict self-discipline that comes from parents.
Avoid becoming a parent who "takes the whip and does not participate": just "spur" the child on the side, but he does not care, and he is a mess in self-discipline.
It is even more important to avoid: do not have blind and unrealistic expectations of children, which will only become a heavy burden and eventually crush the child.
If Gu Ailing's parents had made up their minds to let their children become Olympic champions at the beginning, they would probably not have succeeded.
Break down the goal into stages, starting from the "small goal", step by step, and then it is possible to step up to a higher level.
For example, first set a small goal of "top 10 in the class", and then slowly reach the "top ten of the level department"; as soon as you want to become the first in the whole school and the first in the province, the child will directly collapse.
There is a Tsinghua xueba who understands this set very well.
In a city-wide mock exam, she ranked 4th, which is already quite reliable. But her goal is Tsinghua, and according to the "reference value", Tsinghua admits at most 3 in the city.
To be admitted to Tsinghua, it is necessary to set the "top three in the city" as the goal, and the pressure is great. However, she was not under much pressure, because she had "changed" her goal, and she did not think about the "top three in the city" at all.
There were only three people she was thinking about—the three classmates who were ahead of her. I don't need to compete with anyone else, just pass these 3 people.
There were tens of thousands of candidates in the city, but in her eyes, there were only 3 people. With specific references, the pressure is less and the mentality is better.
To learn to decompose the big goals, to learn to concretize the small goals, this is the martial arts secret that Tsinghua Xueba never told others, told me. Today I can tell you that your child can't pass the Tsinghua University and complains about me.
These two points must be made clear by Xuegu Ailing's tutoring, and the Buddha-figure repeats it again:
First, self-discipline, parental self-discipline; second, the goal should be decomposed, do not have too high expectations.
Finally, let's talk about the problem that media reports can easily cause misleading. Gu Ailing succeeded, and many parents forced their children to go to the ski resort, which was unwise.
Believe me, almost all parents are perfect in front of the camera. Their mistakes in educating children are not said in front of the camera.
Like the book I wrote, will I write a lot of my own mistakes in homeschooling?
(Alas, there are not many conscientious authors like me haha)
Reflecting on this, I have made no fewer mistakes in homeschooling than any parent, although I often give lectures to parents with grandiose, dignified, gray-headed, and trembling (and what other words, although smashed).
For example, a question that parents often ask: What should children do if they are addicted to mobile phones?
Do I dare to tell the truth? I don't dare, because my children are like this, and I can't manage it well. It's not that I'm afraid of losing my face, it's mainly that I'm afraid that the organizers will out haha.
Once the child is successful, parents will try to hide their problems in education and sketch a "perfect tutor" appearance.
Tiger Woods' father is such a typical example. Woods was very successful in his career, which was the result of his father's rigorous training and guidance; but his problems with education were also obvious.
To paraphrase, the "outlook on life" is not ideal. After the death of his father, Tiger Woods had problems with his career and life.
Of course, you say "the money has been earned enough anyway", and yes, I don't refute you.
Sometimes people can only notice "what they want to see.")
Parents who cultivate good children are like this, and after their children's success, they tend to "selectively forget" the negative problems in those tutoring (not intentionally, but instinctively);
The same is true of parents who learn from them, who only notice the successful side of "good parents" and are reluctant to understand the side behind them more deeply, resulting in blindness in learning.
In any case, Gu Ailing is a good look, her parents and tutors are also good, worth learning, worth learning seriously, but we must learn comprehensively and deeply, and cannot blindly copy.
Gao Jinguo, a senior editor with a high online name, is the author of 26 books such as "Good Parents Raise Good Children - 35 Educational Thinking Lessons for Parents", "Interesting Chinese History for Children (12 volumes)", "Stories of Teenagers Reading History (3 volumes)", "Life is a Practice", "The Layer of Window Paper of the Tang Dynasty", "Those Things in the State of Qi" and so on.