People from poor "birth families" often feel a high degree of isolation and difference. This experience usually stems from an injured experience in childhood, which alienates our psychology and continues to affect our lives.
Because of this, some people will suddenly become emotionally broken and hysterical because of something that is "insignificant" in the eyes of normal people.
Pinpointing the root cause of our own psychological problems is very helpful for our future lives, and if you have the following manifestations, it often means that you have been traumatized at home.
(1) You will feel "invisible"
You'll find it hard to fit into the crowd. Even if you are in a crowd, you will have a feeling of loneliness, independence from the world, as if you are an invisible person.
This experience stems from a simple principle: deep down, you can't trust your friends to understand your past, because you know that your childhood is different from others, so you don't believe that you can truly integrate into your friends.
(2) You will often justify the past
You may find yourself reminiscing about bad experiences in the past, but you will always justify the past, such as:
"Well, at least not worse." Or, "At least my parents didn't abandon me." You're like a lot of people – you may be taught, or persuaded to believe that your experience was "fine" and that your pain is only because you are "overly sensitive".
This is normal, and denial and disparagement are common psychological defense mechanisms.
(3) Your ego and inferiority will alternate
You like to compare with others, often compare marriage, work, money, etc. with others, and often have an inferiority complex and conceit.
You might be able to do one thing well and believe within an hour that you're the best contributor on your team and the best person for a promotion. And because of another thing, strongly doubt yourself and question whether you are a good fit for the job.
This kind of mental swing can be exhausting. But it's a common sign from a bad childhood history: You can't put together a reasonable, sound, and stable self-image.
(4) Becoming a parent can feel healed
The experience of being a parent will make you feel healed because your love for your child involves a part of "self-healing," i.e. you want yourself to be treated the same way.
While you treat your child warmly, you will also feel that you are being treated warmly.
(5) You need to work hard to "stay positive"
You may feel that you have to work harder than most people to "stay positive."
You may have habits – such as strenuous exercise, journaling, attending support groups, and so on. These things are necessary to help you maintain psychological stability.
epilogue:
When a person comes from a bad "family of origin," these five experiences are just the tip of the iceberg. In fact, there will be more bad experiences that will affect you for a lifetime. But if you know the source of the problem, then you've taken the first step towards "mental health."