Author | Coke Mom
Recently saw such a news:
The school is about to have winter break,
There was a boy who was very excited.
So he ran to the playground and twisted around
Pretend to be yourself
One...... only...... maggot......
Who knew that this scene was just filmed by the principal,
Sent to the boys' parents:
"Hello parents, this is your son, please sign it."
Parents listen,
Decisively rejected three consecutive times:
"No, it's not."
"No."
"I haven't given birth to a son like this."
(From @Teacher Tian' female man)
Listen to the disgust that overflows the screen,
It's all conceivable.
The old mother who died at the other end of the screen,
I can't wait to pack up the scene of life on a different planet.
No way
After all, the daughter is a gift from Heaven,
And son,
That is a test for humanity.
So it seems,
Raising a baby is similar to buying lottery tickets:
Who gave birth to a daughter,
The lottery is the first prize,
Easily stood at the top of the chain of contempt.
Whoever gives birth to a son,
Can only hold a "thank you for patronage",
Tell yourself over and over again:
The emphasis is on participation,
Just be alive!
01
Some people say,
Only two days of joy in giving birth to a boy,
The day of birth,
And the day of the wedding.
The rest of the day is not happy.
I don't like to hear that,
As a senior old mother,
I must tell you responsibly:
Wrong
I can't be happy the day I gave birth to my son!
A qualified boy,
His lethality must have come from the moment he was born
It began to show the mountain dew.
I got pregnant and gave birth to a friend at about about the same time.
Ran Goose,
And she told me,
Her daughter sleeps every day except for sleep.
It's just quietly snucking.
Look at my son, who is crying loudly and kicking,
All day long you know to smack my tits!
When he grows up a little,
It's even more devastating.
Seemingly ordinary bowl of rice,
When eaten into the belly of his son, it becomes nuclear fuel:
Charge for 5 minutes,
Fight for two hours.
Turn over boxes and cabinets, uncover tiles in the upper room,
On the table, on the cabinet, on the refrigerator, on the stove...
There was no place in this home that he could not reach.
I can't wait to fly into the sky in the next second,
Go shoulder to shoulder with the sun.
Such a divine beast is placed in the house,
No matter when your home was simple and pastoral,
Or nordic frigidity,
Now it's all rough wind!
Play with your daughter,
It could be a family,
It may also be tea drinking tea.
in a word
One moment as a teacher, one moment as a nurse,
After a while, she became a gentle and cute little mother,
That's called a good year,
The world is safe.
But with my son,
Riding horses, fighting monsters, catching goblins...
Once he was not satisfied with the old mother's heroic and righteous posture,
What awaits me is "a hundred million times over."
In the matter of playing with his son,
Old mothers generally have some life insurance on them.
The first year of mom,
The old mother's bookshelf was
"Child, you take your time", "A good mother is better than a good teacher", "Positive discipline";
subsequently
I gradually added to myself again
"On Protracted Warfare", "Prevention and Treatment of Heart Disease", "The Book of Hypertension and Antihypertensive";
now
I don't need any of these books.
A copy of "Alive" is enough!
02
If the body can't stay idle, it doesn't matter,
Little boy with the mouth of this creature
I can't stop for a moment:
"Mom, why do I sometimes fart,
Sometimes farts stink? ”
"Mom, you know Ass Ultraman's killer skills
What is it?
"Mom, can you play with me for a while?"
"Mom, Mom, Mom..."
Whether you're washing your face, sleeping, eating,
Or go to the toilet,
This 3D stereo surround sound
It will ring anytime, anywhere.
Once,
I asked another boy's mom:
"When will my son not call his mother all day long?"
After she turned back and scolded her son, "Shut up, I'm not your mother.",
Turn around and tell me:
"Confess your destiny,
Even if you die,
He would also cry at the grave and call your mother. ”
I have to say,
In the matter of angry people,
Boys are born with extraordinary achievements.
The girl's mother did not speak,
The daughter could detect that her mother was unhappy in minutes.
But what about boy moms?
Even if your face changes from red to yellow,
Finally it becomes a colorful black,
My son can still smile hippie.
You get angry again, you break down again, you collapse again,
His first reaction was still:
"Mom,
If you are angry with me,
Won't I have to write homework in the future? ”
Since having a son,
I don't believe anymore in the calm of the wind and waves,
Step back from the sea and the sky.
He was clearly telling me with practical actions:
Endure breast hyperplasia for a while,
Step back in the uterine fibroids,
,
Then you have to shoot when it's time to strike!
There used to be someone who comforted (deceived) me,
When the child goes to school, the trick will be opened.
hehe
I don't know if he opened it or not.
All I know is that all seven of my tricks are going to explode.
It's not a throw away,
It's on the way to lose everything,
I was in the class every day
Ask for homework, ask for exam papers, ask for textbooks,
The first 30 years have not bent,
It was all folded on my son.
Girl's mother's mouth,
It's all about the brand-name lipstick that goes up;
Boy mom's mouth,
All day long he said "Sauerry".
03
There are boy moms
Looking at the "thank you for patronage" in his hand, he couldn't help it,
Always rubbing secretly to prepare for a second child,
Thinking of beating a bicycle into a motorcycle,
Maybe "another one" will open a small cotton jacket.
Over here
I still advise you to be careful,
If the second eldest is a boy again, isn't it "male plus male"?
Ultimately
There are boys who make waves in the house,
The fight can only be the mentality of the old mother:
Son is active, naughty, can't sit still?
Never mind
Who let them secrete more dopamine than girls!
Boys are impulsive, irritable, and always can't control how many?
It's okay
Who let their brains develop more slowly in the frontal lobes than girls!
Boy nonsense, essay can't do?
Look at the opening point,
Who called them calloused bodies born not as wide as girls,
Language skills are not enough!
Look
Since girls are superior to boys in all directions,
So as the old mother of the big girl,
In the end, you can only look at lower creatures like higher creatures,
Grit your teeth to forgive the stinky boy.
If raising children is really buying lottery tickets,
That draw is not the most important,
Happy is!
Remember hemingway once said this:
"Life always makes us scratch all over our bodies,
But later,
Those injured places will become
The strongest place we had. ”
Raising boys is not entirely without its benefits.
Like what
The voice is getting higher and higher,
The strength is getting bigger and bigger,
The heart is getting stronger.
Not only that,
Because my son loves Ultraman and the excavator,
As an old mother,
He has become proficient in identifying Severn, Digga and Rejetto.
In a few years,
It is estimated that you can use an excavator to stir-fry vegetables.
Those who can't kill us,
Destined to make us stronger!
With this article,
Dedicated to all like me
Middle-aged mother of "gender female, male personality",
May your daily life and your son be able to continue forever
Like Wu Jing stepped on Jay Chou --
Wonderful!
Pay attention to the video number of old Xue's whole brain early education