Every parent hopes that their children can win at the starting line, some parents in order to make their children good grades, give their children a variety of early education classes, find a variety of teachers to make up for their children, stare at their children to do homework, many parents seem to see that the child's primary school is the foundation, we must grasp it.
But some people also said that the child's primary school is to learn how to learn, parents should pay more attention to cultivating the child's learning autonomy, rather than grasping the child's grades, whether the child's primary school should pay attention to it or let go? Keep an eye on and let go of education, and after five years, there is a big gap between the two children.
About jobs
Colleague Xiaomei said her troubles, her child Xiaohui arrived at junior high school, self-learning ability is very poor, every time she has to stare at it, if she accompanies Xiaohui to recite words at night, Xiaohui can listen to it the next day to ninety or even a hundred points, if she does not accompany Xiaohui to memorize words, Xiaohui will take the sixty-point test, which makes Xiaomei very worried.
When Xiaohui was in the first and second grades of primary school, Xiaomei stared at Xiaohui all day long to do homework, she will also give us Amway parenting experience, children must keep an eye on primary school, can not relax, she accompanies the child to write homework every day, the child is very tight, at that time, Xiaohui's results are indeed good, often praised by teachers.
But when he went to junior high school, Xiaohui changed, he had no self-control, he had to accompany his mother to learn, if his mother was not accompanied, he would not study, secretly playing with mobile phones, even Xiaomei's husband had teased her: you can go to re-enter high school.
Xiaomei's situation made me think of my sister's parenting style, my sister's children are about the same size as Xiaomei's daughter, when Xiaomei Amway parenting, I also shared this matter with my sister, and I wanted my sister to refer to it.
Unexpectedly, the sister denied Xiaomei's parenting method, for the little niece, the sister is basically in a state of letting go, the little niece's grades in the first and second grades are not very good, when asked why the sister wants to do this, the sister said that this is to let the child cultivate their own self-awareness.
The little niece sometimes wanders and procrastinates, the homework cannot be written, and the sister does not care about her, so she goes to the school the next day to be scolded, and after being scolded, the little niece is obedient, and carefully writes the homework for the sister to check.
Sometimes the little niece wants to play, the sister let her play, play enough and then write homework, at this time, the little niece's efficiency is very high, concentrate on writing homework, and quickly finish the homework, much better than those children whose parents stare at writing but are distracted.
After going to junior high school, the little niece's learning consciousness is very high, her grades are also rising sharply, and the teacher said that the little niece's learning method is very good.
I seriously thought about the gap between the two children, one is to let the child learn to learn, one is to stare at the child to learn, Xiaohui has become accustomed to the mother staring at his own learning, if the mother does not stare, he will let go of himself, he does not arrange for his own learning, it is completely the mother to arrange for him, this time period what you do, that time period you do, and the little niece will learn, she will take the initiative to learn, she has a high degree of self-awareness in learning, and the efficiency is also very high, and she can complete the task in a very short time.
Learning methods are sometimes much more important than parents staring at them, parents stare at their children who want to play and dare not play, they have been wandering, as soon as parents leave, they are relieved, they will start to play, learning efficiency is very low.
Children who know how to learn, after playing enough, happy homework will achieve the effect of doubling the results with half the effort, and parents should let their children know that learning is their own business, not their parents' business.
About grades
Sister's treatment of the little niece's results have always been more Buddhist, she will not be because the little niece did not test well on the crazy to make up for the child, she did not give the child a make-up class agency did not report to the child, every time the child's results came out, she also took a look, will not blame the child because the child test is good or bad.
But for the child's wrong questions, the sister attaches great importance to it, she prepared a homework book for the little niece, this book summarizes the wrong questions, after writing the little niece will also tell the sister again, before each exam, the little niece will also look at her own wrong question book to see where the last mistake was.
Xiaomei is really "crazy" about the child's grades, the child's grades have regressed, she can nag like a magic disease for several days, in order to improve the child's grades, she even found her own university lecturer, let him give the child a math class, Xiaomei reported a lot of make-up classes for the child.
Every weekend, the child is running non-stop in various make-up classes, which also leads to a period of boredom for the child, during that time, Xiaohui's grades have dropped seriously, Xiaomei is sad, fortunate things, and later Xiaohui under the guidance of the teacher, understands his mother's good intentions, and is admitted to a good high school as desired.
The sister does not pay attention to the child's grades, she let the child understand that the exam is her own business, not the father and mother's business, and Xiaomei took everything about the child to herself, almost making the child tired of learning, learning is the child's business.
What parents should do is to let their children understand the importance of learning, cultivate independent learning ability, rather than staring at their children to learn, so that children will only be bored with school, children should learn to learn independently, rather than learning for parents, parents should cultivate children's habits of independent learning, so that it is a long-term solution for children to learn.
Primary school is the period of laying the foundation, to the child to lay the knowledge foundation at the same time, but also to give the child the basis of learning methods, only the method is used correctly, the child will learn more easily and more consciously in the future.