The second lesson of "Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience" "Finding Flow" is a book manuscript

The appearance of King Midas turning stones into gold and finally starving to death fully proves that blind pursuit of wealth, status, and power may not make people happier. Only by creating fun from daily life experiences can we truly improve the quality of life.

Yesterday we got to know flow, and we fully realized that flow is actually a state of complete immersion in some activity or something, leaving everything else behind.

So today we are going to learn the components of flow and how to find your own flow in your daily life.

There are only two strategies to improve the quality of life:

The first is to align external conditions with our goals

The second is to change the way we experience external conditions so that they fit into our goals

In our daily life, everyone's pursuit of happiness is different, some people feel that safety is one of the elements, they will think of ways to stay in a safe country, region or buy a lot of equipment that can ensure their own safety, etc.; but some people feel that wealth and power are one of the elements, then they will spend their lives to pursue more wealth and higher power;

In the pursuit of these so-called happiness, whether passive or active, in fact, there will be the appearance of flow, but too single-minded with their own goals, so they do not feel, so that finally reached the desired goal, but also lost the feeling of happiness.

Because even if you change your external conditions to make yourself safe, have wealth and power, and may be happy and happy at first, but a person can't control his consciousness, past fears and desires will soon emerge, and awaken the old anxiety, even if he has achieved his goal, he cannot create an inner sense of happiness.

We always think that wealth, status, and power are the most important symbols of happiness in modern civilization. I also know that having these is not necessarily happiness, but it is something that everyone has been chasing all their lives. Because most people think that with wealth, status, and power, there is the confidence to make a comeback.

Is it necessary to be happy to have money?

This is a question from ancient times to the present, and no one can fully answer it. In fact, it is not that money, health, fame and happiness have nothing to do with each other, but these things can only play a role when we are more satisfied with ourselves, otherwise it is only irrelevant from desolation, and may even constitute an obstacle to a happy life, so these mainly depend on how we use and look at it.

In fact, when it comes to improving the experience of life, the first thing most people think of is "pleasure". Because many people think that only in the process of enjoyment (such as: mountain and seafood, harmonious sex life, everything that can be bought with money) is to change their quality of life. In fact, there are many people who are certain to feel pleasure in difficulties, competitions, or dangers, which is what we call the experience of flow. It is an experience that we feel in a certain activity, an experience that stimulates our inner happiness and satisfaction.

Pleasure is often fleeting, but fun is endless. Fun has a forward-moving character and is fresh and fulfilling. For example, many athletes, rock climbers, or extreme sportsmen. In the process of action, they can experience endless fun, that is because in the process of action, there is no other thing in the brain, only focusing on the current activity, so they will feel the flow state in the action, in order to achieve happiness. After completing the goal they achieved, in retrospect, they will find it "really interesting". That's the fun. After experiencing something fun, we feel like we've changed and ourselves have grown; in some ways, the experience has made us more complex and richer.

In fact, children are very easy to immerse themselves in fun, such as when they complete a building block, learn different skills or in a racket game with their friends, they can forget about playing, and then experience the fun of this activity.

Once take the child to the amusement park, but because of the young age, many projects can not play, but there is a super large sand pool in the amusement park, he played with other children in the sand pool for an afternoon, when he left, he was still reluctant, and later in retrospect he would say: That sand pool is very interesting, and he will ask to take it to play when he has time. This is the fun of children, it is very simple, as long as you can focus on one thing, you can get a sense of happiness in flow.

But many children are forced to learn some complex knowledge after going to school, and they cannot experience flow in it, which will cause them to be bored with school.

So we should have fun in the experience.

Many people like to experience, such as experiencing sports, experiencing excitement, or experiencing something that we most people can't imagine, so as to get the pleasure of flow in it. Whatever happens in the experience, they feel the fun and have fun.

Without pleasure, life is tolerable. Sometimes it can even be considered pleasant, but this pleasure does not last, and it depends on luck and external circumstances.

If you want to control the quality of the experience, you must learn to create fun from everyday life.

Let's talk about the elements that make up the flow experience:

1, challenging activities, in the challenging activities, there will be a sense of accomplishment after completion, which is also one of the construction of flow.

This usually occurs in the middle of competition, and sometimes the enemy is also a helper who can help you reach flow smoothly and complete an optimal experience

It is also possible to reach the optimal experience in boredom, such as listening to a piece of music, being in a daze, reading a meaningful book, and so on

2. Unity of knowledge and action

The most universal and clear quality of the optimal experience is revealed at this point: the person concerned is preoccupied, all actions are unthinking, almost completely spontaneous; their perception is even extinguished, and man and action are completely one.

Concentrate, don't have any distractions in your mind, don't want to do anything; just concentrate on one thing, all the energy flows freely, and you will feel relaxed, comfortable and energetic. Full immersion in it, this achieves the unity of knowledge and action.

Many racers have the thrill of unity of the riders, and martial arts masters will also have moments of unity of swords. These are all manifestations of the unity of knowledge and action. As long as you achieve the unity of knowledge and action, you can feel the joy of it.

3. Clarify the goal and give back in time

The flow experience is fully engaged because it has a clear goal and is rewarded in a timely manner. The more challenging, the more fun it is, and if the chosen goal is negligible, the fun of success is almost zero.

4. Concentrate

The most commonly described characteristic of the experience of flow is that in the flow of the heart flow all the unhappiness of life is forgotten.

5. Freedom of control

Games, sports and other leisure activities are often a source of fun, and these activities are still some distance from the difficult daily life.

In action, you can control yourself, so that you can give yourself a better experience and happiness. In fact, flow is addictive, just like we experience happiness and happiness in action, and we will always want this feeling later, and there will be an addictive feeling. Ask the gambler why he is addicted, because in the process of action, he feels satisfaction and flow, whether he wins or loses, he is willing to eat, this is the feeling of addiction.

6. Forget yourself

That is, when a person is fully engaged in an activity, he has no spare energy to think about the past or the future, or anything irrelevant in the present. At this stage, the disappearance of the "self" from perception should be particularly reflected in the discussion, because in daily life we spend too much time thinking about it.

In fact, the ego plays a very active role in the optimal experience. Therefore, the disappearance of self-consciousness does not mean that the self disappears with it, and even consciousness still exists, but it is no longer feeling the self.

7. Abnormal sense of time

One of the most commonly mentioned points when describing the optimal experience is that the sense of time is different from usual. For example, if you are doing something very fun, and you are completely immersed in it, you will lose consciousness of time and feel that time passes very quickly.

8. The goal is not false

One of the great things about the best experience is that it is the goal in itself. "Self-contained goal" is to do something without pursuing future rewards, and doing this thing itself is the biggest reward

So how do you look for flow in your daily life?

Earlier we are talking about some extreme athletes, such as: athletes, climbers, navigators, composers, dancers and so on. They feel the presence of flow when they are extremely immersed in the action. Because they are designed to achieve flow.

For example, when we were young, we liked to play in circles, and the feeling brought about by vertigo made the child have a flow experience and entered the realm of ecstasy.

In fact, in the study, it was found that all flow activities, whether involving competition, speculation or other forms of experience, have one thing in common: it brings a new discovery, a sense of creativity, and brings the person into a new reality. Simply put, it makes the ego more complex and the ego grows, which is the key to flow activity.

It is because of this dynamic nature that flow becomes a source of growth and discovery.

A culture that fosters flow is not necessarily morally good. Because the Nazis' goals were simple, their rewards were clear, and they gave people in the midst of anxiety and frustration the opportunity to get rid of and get back into their lives. Similarly, flow, while a powerful trigger, does not guarantee that the person who experiences it is morally high.

So in everyday life, turning daily experiences into flow is not easy, but almost everyone can improve their abilities in this regard.

If we can't concentrate on a daily basis, we can't distinguish between the weight of everything, which leads to the inability to experience the corresponding pleasure.

So is happiness inherited or learned?

Just as some people are born with better muscle coordination than others, there are also people who are born with the gift of a sense of control. Some people are so resistant to attention disorders that they feel flow more easily.

The family environment will actually have an impact on a person's flow, so we grow up in what environment, and when we grow up, we will have a different ability to control consciousness and emotions. So the influence of the family is actually very important, and it is very important for the experience of feeling flow after adulthood.

The home environment that helps produce the best experience has five characteristics:

1. Clarity: Know what your parents expect of you, and in the interaction of your family, your goals and feedback are unambiguous.

2. Attention: Children feel that their parents have a strong interest in what they are currently doing and in their specific feelings and experiences

3, choice: children feel that they have a lot of choices, including not listening to their parents (but they have to be prepared to bear the consequences themselves)

4, investment: that is, let the child have enough confidence, let go of his shield and self-awareness, and wholeheartedly do what he is interested in

5. Challenge: That is, parents arrange complex and gradual action opportunities for their children

Needless to say, whether the family can provide a self-goal environment has the greatest impact before the children leave home: families who enjoy a self-goal environment are the lucky ones in life, and must be happier, stronger, livelier and satisfied. Helps them get the best experience.

Today, I have mainly learned the constituent elements of flow, and how should we look for flow in daily life? and the impact of the home environment on the optimal experience of flow. Tomorrow we will continue to learn the wonders of flow in our daily lives. Experience the optimal experience of flow in different situations through our feelings.

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