Recently, just after the Hong Kong drama "The Heroic Hero of the Flying Tiger", the mood rises and falls with the fate of the multi-faceted and three-dimensional villain Xu Sen, and the ending of the policeman Zhang Jiaxuan, played by Huang Zongze, is also deeply uncomfortable.
Out of the plot, also outside the play, people feel uncomfortable is the ending of Huang Zongze and his ex-girlfriend Hu Xing'er parting ways.
After accompanying each other for eight years, Hu Xing'er eventually married someone else's wife, and since the two broke up in 2012, Huang Zongze is still single, which is really regrettable.
Before getting married, Hu Xing'er once said a paragraph: My ex and ex are great, one of them taught me to be a gentle woman, the other taught me to be a mature adult, but I like the current one the most, he taught me to be a child.
I once thought that Hu Xing'er's practice of not denigrating her predecessor was high emotional intelligence, and after reading the book "How Many You Have Yourself", I found that in addition to high emotional intelligence, it turned out that she was also very wise, and she understood that each of us has a lot of herself.
"You Have Several Selves" is edited by Professor Zhu Jianjun, a famous psychologist and founder of image dialogue therapy. Through years of research, Professor Zhu has found that there are many selves in our inner world, that is, different aspects of personality, and the image dialogue is called "sub-personality". Through "demolition technique", "mind organization chart", "sub-personality poker", etc., the author leads us to find our own sub-personality and control him, helping us to achieve a simple happy child who can not only be a simple happy child before intimate lovers, but also live like a king in real life.
Let's follow in the footsteps of the author, and together we will "split" our sub-personality, manage him, and mobilize him to achieve a better self.
01
Knowing sub-personalities: Everyone is multiple personalities
The description of the sub-personality is described as follows: As a mood disorder, the self-splitting of multiple personalities is spontaneous and passive. In fact, each normal person also has multiple personality aspects, and we can actively "split" the personality into a dozen or even dozens of different selves (sub-personalities).
The more typical in real life is Jobs, who is known as the "Godfather of Apple". Paranoia, irritability, arrogance, and creativity, curiosity, focus, enthusiasm... These two sets of far-reaching words are describing him.
Jobs once hung a pirate flag at his team's workplace and said "it's better to be a pirate than to join the Navy," but decades later he began to denounce Internet piracy as theft. He was an ascetic simplist, but demanded that Apple's board give him a private jet to take his family to Hawaii. Jobs was called a bloodthirsty vegetarian, ruthless capitalist, and aggressive Buddhist.
In addition to not creating the "Apple Kingdom", the other manifestations of our ordinary people are actually the same as Jobs, everyone has multiple personalities: sometimes strong, sometimes fragile, sometimes generous, sometimes stingy, sometimes obedient, sometimes gentle...
02
Manage sub-personalities: Let sub-personalities get along with each other
There is interaction between multiple personalities, and the acceptance of each other by the sub-personalities will make people harmonious in their hearts; but if the sub-personalities dislike each other, it will lead to entanglement in people and screwing up work.
Regarding the consequences of discord between the personalities of the child, the book describes that there is no external real person who can hurt a person as much as this internal self-component.
Yes, no one can hurt you deeper, except yourself. Just like a small fish, she was born strong, originally full of confidence to sprint the annual personal crown, but unfortunately fell during a night run and fractured her calf, and after the operation, she took a plaster cast and recuperated at home for two months. When I came back to work, I was already obviously a long way from the goal of selling the crown.
In order to sprint for the long-planned crown, she spent day and night calculating how to save as much as possible and as much as possible. Day and night, she, insomnia! I can only sleep for two or three hours a night, and this situation has lasted for more than a month, and the whole person has lost a lot of weight, not to mention the matter of winning the championship.
At this time, what the small fish has to do is actually to face the reality and adjust the goal, rather than blindly blaming themselves. As the psychologist Professor Li Meijin said: Life is actually not difficult, as long as you do not compete with yourself, do not use the ideal me to teach the reality of me.
A person's biggest internal friction is not to let go of themselves! The management of sub-personality, the focus is to make them friendly, dare to admit that we are not perfect, just mortals, accept to lose for a while, in order to win back more.
03
Mobilize the good sub-personality: call him, praise him, thank him
It is not the years that make people mature, but the experiences; what makes people grow is not time, but life.
No one expected that the "pause button" pressed by the new crown virus has caused some industries to experience a dark moment. Pan Yang, who has been working as a Japanese tour guide for 15 years, has been forced to shut down, so she often complains that in the past two years, she can only live by distributing the peripheral products of Japanese tours in the circle of friends, and she is no longer the original beautiful fashionable hot mom.
Also delayed is the peer wheat, shortly after the work stagnated, she quickly adjusted the state, after inspecting several industries, decisively transformed into a shop, delicious, delicious, fun, but also very profitable, compared to the previous wheat is more spirited.
Two people who were on the same level before, the gap is not a little bit now. In the same situation, treating with different mentalities and actions will lead to a completely different life. It turns out that character can really determine destiny.
Therefore, it is necessary to study the changes in personality to better control our destiny. The book preaches that the sub-personality will undergo a qualitative change, manifested in the disappearance of some sub-personalities, the rebirth of some, the combination of several sub-personalities, or the splitting of one sub-personality into two.
The changes brought about by the sub-personality are both good and bad. So how do we mobilize good sub-personalities? The author gives the method of operation: repeatedly imagine the image of this sub-personality, call his name over and over again with emotion, praise him, thank him. Later, it will be very easy to call him to appear.
The heart does not summon things and things do not arrive! It seems that we must insist on saying good things and thinking about good things, because this is like making a wish, thinking of things, good or bad.
Write at the end
Be your own king
Good, bad, strong, weak, sweet, bitter... Put together to form a complete self.
Russell said: It is necessary to know that the variability of life is the source of happiness. Therefore, we do not need to cling to the good to the bad, to the strong to the weak, to taste the sweet and avoid the bitter.
Only by being full of variety and having a big belly can you become a king. As king, he allowed thieves and villains to exist in the nation. So, please learn to accept and accept all of you, whether it is a dozen or dozens of yourself.
Let's open "You Have Several Selves", regularly split, and reinstall and upgrade yourself, in different scenes, switch at will, may you be a simple and happy child, but also live like a king.