In 2004, Fan Xiaoxuan fell in love with 100% band member Allen.
However, their relationship was questioned from all walks of life at the beginning.
So much so that her best girlfriend, "Little S" Xu Xidi, has bluntly said that she is not optimistic about them,
Calling allen, who had a scumbag face and swore not to marry and be infertile, was like a "freak."
However, for these voices from the outside world, Fan Xiaoxuan, as a party, chose to turn a deaf ear.
Even in order to exonerate her boyfriend Allen, she did not hesitate to surgically remove the uterus.
And publicly stated: "The uterus is just a dispensable organ!", causing an uproar in public opinion.
Fan Xiaoxuan and Allen
In fact, the matter of "cutting the womb" is not the first time that Fan Xiaoxuan has "deviated from the scriptures".
As a young adult child star, Fan Xiaoxuan's image difference between adulthood is too large;
"Tongue rings, tattooed arms, cut heads", it seems that the public does not like that culture, she prefers to go in that direction.
So, why did a "well-behaved girl" who became famous for her purity gradually become today's "little witch"?
In fact, the answer to this question is hidden in Fan Xiaoxuan's maverick life.
01 Repressed childhood
There is a saying in the movie "Dog Thirteen": "Every growth is a murder!"
Very cruel, very naked, but also very realistic,
Because this is the most direct indictment of the "Chinese-style family".
Unfortunately, Fan Xiaoxuan is one of the victims of "this kind of family".
(Movie "Dog Thirteen")
In 1977, an underage girl who "ran away from home" accidentally became pregnant during a stop at a bar.
Ten months later, Fan Xiaoxuan came into this world.
However, perhaps because the love in the night show comes and goes quickly,
When Fan Xiaoxuan was two years old, her parents broke up,
And the father gave up her custody because of the family's serious "son preference" mentality.
As a result, the young Fan Xiaoxuan had to grow up with a single mother.
However, in the drunken Taipei City, a single mother wants to raise a child and it is so easy to say,
In order to take care of Fan Xiaoxuan growing up, Fan's mother had to put down her musical dreams and seek perfection in front of money.
Therefore, Fan Xiaoxuan became her last spiritual sustenance.
From the age of three, Fan Xiaoxuan's mother began to cultivate her musical temperament.
Learning piano, practicing music theory, practicing flute, it can be said that Fan Xiaoxuan's entire childhood was accompanied by only musical instruments.
And all her knowledge of the world is also in those jumping notes.
Fan Xiaoxuan and her mother
In those years, the happiest thing for Fan's mother was to put her "excellent daughter" in front of others to show off.
Especially when other parents cast envious eyes,
When she said, "Your education is also too great," she was even more excited.
However, she never asked Fan Xiaoxuan whether she was tired or not, whether she liked music or not.
It's like,
As a parent, it is only natural for her children to design a future.
However, everyone's life should be different!
Perhaps from this time on, it was destined that Fan Xiaoxuan would "rise up and resist" in the future.
02 Well, it was never her label
At the age of 14, Fan Xiaoxuan was favored by the advertising company and appeared in front of the camera for the first time, and then the fire was uncontrollable.
After that, Fan Xiaoxuan became a regular visitor in major MTV,
This also made her acquaintance with her mentor Li Yaming, and made a smooth debut with the help of the other party.
At the age of 17, Fan Xiaoxuan relied on her performance experience in previous years.
Selected by the movie "Very Detective", partnered with Jacky Cheung,
With this movie, Fan Xiaoxuan became famous in one fell swoop,
That year, he was shortlisted for the final list of the 14th Hong Kong Film Awards for Best New Actor.
In this list, Chen Xiaochun is also impressively listed.
In those years, Fan Xiaoxuan seemed to be like the "Chosen Daughter", and all kinds of praise poured out to her.
Taiwan's most popular female newcomer, Taiwan's top ten charming female artists,
Chinese Dragon and Tiger List Best Newcomer Idol, Channel Best Newcomer...
Debut is the peak, these few words are used on Fan Xiaoxuan, it is simply too appropriate.
In 1996, the popular cartoon dramas "Cherry Maruko" and "Doraemon" in Japan planned to enter the mainland market.
So can you find a child star who is loved by all Chinese parents?
Singing Chinese theme song has become the key to success or failure.
So after careful research by two animation companies,
They invariably put the casting on the body of Fan Xiaoxuan, who is "well-behaved",
And the final results are also as they wish, these two anime in the mainland market are very successful,
Fan Xiaoxuan's singing voice also resounded on the television sets of thousands of households.
Inspired by the Japanese animation company, the agency behind Fan Xiaoxuan has finally discovered her potential in the children's song market.
He then created a children's song album "The Magic Book of the Little Witch" for Fan Xiaoxuan, and tested the waters for release.
However, this attempt does not know, it is such a hastily created album,
Once released, it became very popular and even set a new record for the highest sales of a Taiwanese album.
In 1998, Fan Xiaoxuan's fame reached its peak in the three places across the Taiwan Strait.
Therefore, she stepped onto the big stage of the Spring Festival Gala of that year.
At that "Meet 98" party that has been remembered countless times by future generations,
Fan Xiaoxuan and Xie Xiaodong's "Health Song" became a sensation,
After learning about Fan Xiaoxuan's "well-behaved and sensible" growth story
It once made her a common "other person's child" in the minds of national audiences.
But no one knew at that time,
In the face of this monstrous praise, Fan Xiaoxuan was not happy at all,
Because in her opinion,
Well, it should never have been her label.
03 Only perfection is worth celebrating?
People say that it is better to become famous early.
But only those who have really experienced it know that premature fame is not a good thing.
Especially for girls, early fame means that it is difficult to live themselves.
After all, the aura of youthful fame, once it disappears, will only make those doubts more fierce.
In 1998, Fan Xiaoxuan, who was tired of singing children's songs, finally broke out,
For the first time in her life, she refused the request of others, and forcibly launched the rock album "Darling" despite the team's obstruction.
In order to reverse the world's misunderstanding of her "well-behaved", Fan Xiaoxuan also shaved her head to show that she was "deviant".
In fact, from the perspective of latecomers, Fan Xiaoxuan's album is actually of particularly high quality.
As she herself puts it, the creation here has almost 120% of her strength.
However, in that era, punk and rock were undoubtedly symbols of decadence in the eyes of all parents.
Especially the former Fan Xiaoxuan is full of innocence, sunshine, and positivity.
This has made her fans express their inability to accept it and refuse to pay for it.
During that time, all the media invariably attacked Fan Xiaoxuan.
Depraved, dirty, rebellious, all kinds of negative words were imposed on her,
So that overnight, Fan Xiaoxuan changed from a "high-quality idol" to a "negative teaching material".
It has been used by countless parents to warn their children.
Seeing the hard-working idol collapse the room, the brokerage company behind Fan Xiaoxuan finally couldn't sit still.
It is said that at that time, even the president of the parent company tried to dissuade Fan Xiaoxuan in person, and even threatened to refrigerate.
However, in the face of these reminders, Fan Xiaoxuan resolutely refused.
After all
She's lived for 21 years for others.
She can't live her whole life for someone else.
So, after this, seeing that Fan Xiaoxuan did not repent, the capital behind her also resolutely abandoned it.
Not only have all the original publicity resources been revoked, but even some basic artist protections have been ignored.
So much so that the media almost uttered vicious words about her, without concealing or worrying.
However, these external doubts can still make Fan Xiaoxuan endure,
But when her most trusted mother also challenged her and criticized her,
Fan Xiaoxuan finally couldn't hold back,
So much so that she began to fall into deep self-doubt, and at one point suffered from severe depression.
04 Letting go is the best love
Depression is a mental illness that has been mentioned more and more in recent years.
And the main reason why we attach so much importance to it is that it can really "kill people".
In the years when Fan Xiaoxuan was ill, one of the most common words she said was "How can you die in pain?" ”
I can't believe how serious the consequences will be if the person who "asks for death" at such a moment does not help her from the side.
Unfortunately, after Fan Xiaoxuan broke up with her mother, her mother abandoned her.
Fortunately, Fan Xiaoxuan is not only surrounded by family support, but also love.
And the person who brought her love was Zhou Junwei.
Fan Xiaoxuan and Zhou Junwei
At the time when Fan Xiaoxuan's illness was at its worst, Zhou Junwei was waiting by her side almost 24 hours a day.
Not only taking care of her three meals a day, but even warming her bed in advance before going to bed,
So much so that Zhou Junwei's friends couldn't help but complain privately: "Junwei, you are almost like Xiaoxuan's servant eh!"
Once, Fan Xiaoxuan had an attack of illness, and a breath rushed to a 20-story building and wanted to jump down,
At the critical moment, Zhou Junwei preemptively took it into his arms.
And shouted to her, "If you jump today, then I will accompany you!"
This awakened Fan Xiaoxuan and avoided tragedy.
Yes, I Zhou Junwei is a servant,
However, I am not your servant Fan Xiaoxuan, but a slave of love.
In this way, under the careful care of Zhou Junwei, Fan Xiaoxuan slowly improved and gradually came out of the haze.
However, it is a pity that the person who accompanied Fan Xiaoxuan out of the haze did not accompany her further.
"He's so good for me, I don't think I deserve him."
Fan Xiaoxuan said this to the camera, explaining why she broke up with Zhou Junwei.
Some people may feel that such a reason is far-fetched, but this is indeed Fan Xiaoxuan's voice.
Because in the days when Fan Xiaoxuan and Zhou Junwei got along, Zhou Junwei always wanted to fill her rebellious heart with his love.
But he didn't know that the rebellious Fan Xiaoxuan was her "true self".
Indeed, it was Zhou Junwei who accompanied her through the most difficult time,
But this does not mean that Fan Xiaoxuan wants to go against his will for Zhou Junwei and then do that "good baby".
This is not love, and love cannot be reduced to gratitude.
05 What's wrong with being yourself?
After breaking up with Zhou Junwei, Fan Xiaoxuan continued to fight against "mainstream culture" alone.
Tattooed arms, hair, tongue rings, humming rock, singing jazz,
Perhaps such a "degenerate" Fan Xiaoxuan will be looked down upon by the outside world,
But so what? Isn't life for itself?
Shame on yourself, that's enough!
In 2004, Fan Xiaoxuan and Allen had a public relationship,
Obviously, compared to Zhou Junwei, this "freak" is obviously more in line with Fan Xiaoxuan.
Therefore, when the outside world questions this relationship incomparably, Fan Xiaoxuan will stand up and speak for him.
Sister herself choose the man, what do you care?
"Only in love, not married",
This sentence looks like the words of a scumbag deceiving a little girl,
But Fan Xiaoxuan believed it,
And she not only believed, but even cut off her womb in order to please her boyfriend,
This kind of desperate behavior for love can only be described as "infatuation".
Later, some media asked Fan Xiaoxuan whether she regretted this "crazy" move.
Fan Xiaoxuan replied plainly: "There are no two things in my life plan, marriage and having children, at least for now." ”
Yes, in Fan Xiaoxuan's view, love and marriage are not necessarily causal relationships.
Meet someone you like, then go to love a painful,
If you don't like it, then leave freely,
Why use the word "marriage" to put a shackle on yourself?
Plato believed that love should be pure, white, untainted, and that it should exist only in the spirit, not in the flesh.
And Fan Xiaoxuan is convinced of this, in her opinion, love and the body should be separated,
Idealistic, in order to live out their truest appearance.
In 2007, Fan Xiaoxuan realized her "rebirth" in the form of a band.
Two albums "Breakthrough" and "Naked" once again proved her musical talent to the world, and twice won the Best Orchestra Award.
And she also won the title of "Rock Woman Demon Head".
Perhaps, this road is destined not to be loved by the public,
But the road always has to go on its own, and if you don't go, you never know what awaits you ahead.
Just like Fan Xiaoxuan, if she gave up her dream because of doubts, she would not achieve these successes.
In the days that followed, Fan Xiaoxuan completely released herself,
Making movies, doing public welfare, playing music, doing whatever you think, and seemingly not caring about fame at all.
Just like in the movie "Dragon Gate Flying Armor", if you don't look at the cast list, you can't guess which role Fan Xiaoxuan plays.
It can be said that in this entertainment circle that is competing to get ahead, Fan Xiaoxuan is simply becoming more and more like a "freak".
However, because of this, Fan Xiaoxuan is Fan Xiaoxuan.
In fact, many times, when we come to the fork in the road of life, we will always make some seemingly correct choices against our hearts.
But is the success of such a choice really what we hope?
The answer is no,
At the very least, such success does not make your life happy.
It is undeniable that if Fan Xiaoxuan chose to continue to play "good", perhaps she has now become a member of the "top stream".
However, such a woman is by no means a winner in life,
Because it wasn't the life she wanted.
As she said in "Scribble": My hope is to be my "Fan Xiaoxuan" comfortably and at ease!
Today, 44-year-old Fan Xiaoxuan, perhaps compared to those popular small fresh meat, does not have much fame,
But she can willfully take her boyfriend to travel with her in "Strange Life",
In "We Are True Friends", chat with girlfriends about gossip, shake each other's black material,
You can also play your own music without trimming, hiding in the recording studio,
Sing the song you want to sing with heavy makeup.
Despite the retrograde, you can always be loyal to yourself,
This is Fan Xiaoxuan's life,
It is also the ideal life of many people,
What about you?