Loving someone can be very simple. Marriage, however, often becomes complicated.
In the days of chai rice oil and salt, there are always many unexpected bumps.
Small frictions become big contradictions, all kinds of people and things are intertwined, and the resentment between husband and wife is getting deeper and deeper, and finally they come to the step of divorce.
Some couples, very rational and decisive, choose one and two wide, and each is well.
There are also some, but it is still unclear, whether it is right or wrong.
Divorced, had a relationship with an ex-husband, or even lived together, what the hell do you think?
Listening to the voices of these 3 women may give some vigilance and reflection to people who are having the same experience.
1
Separation is impulsive
There are still feelings in the heart
@Ms. Liu (divorced for 7 months)
Originally, I didn't want to get into a divorce.
Our relationship is actually quite good, even if there is a quarrel, basically soon reconciled.
The more noisy and fierce, it began when my mother-in-law lived with us.
We are both less than 30 years old, we have only been married for two years, and his income has been unstable because of the epidemic.
My mother-in-law urged me to hold my grandson, but I considered that at this stage, the pressure was too great, and we were also young, so we didn't have to be in such a hurry for the birth plan.
When my mother-in-law saw that we had been slow to move, she felt that I had delayed the progress of holding her grandson and changed the way to blow the wind to him.
At first it was fine, but then slowly he fell to his side. So much so that he brought his mother to live with us without consulting me.
After my mother-in-law came, all kinds of soil methods for giving birth to children were used on me, he knew that I was unwilling, but he always acquiesced, and advised me to endure and not to live with the old man.
Since I did not cooperate with the pregnancy preparation, my mother-in-law saw the stitch and said that I was not, and the contradiction between us became deeper and deeper.
The chickens and dogs in the house were restless, and he felt tired to deal with me and his mother, and I was also tired.
In the end, no one could swallow a breath, so they proposed divorce.
I moved out after the divorce and there was still an occasional connection.
Once we met at a friend's wedding, we all drank a little too much, and naturally took a taxi back to our old home.
After that day, we talked very seriously about whether to have children or not, he couldn't convince his mother, and he still can't convince me.
I'm still single, and so is he. They still have feelings for each other, and as for what will happen in the future, look at the creation.
When someone divorces, it is a momentary anger, it is an impulsive act.
The moment you get the certificate, both sides will regret it. There is still love in the heart, there is nostalgia. This kind of relationship is easy to break the connection.
As long as one side makes concessions and the problem can be solved, it is sooner or later to get back together.
2
Don't give up children
Repeating the mistakes of the past
@Ms. Zhang (divorced for 1 and a half years)
We divorced and nothing happened to the story of dog blood.
I don't know why, but there is no emotion when I live. No matter what you say, the bull's head is not right for the horse's mouth.
Maybe it's too busy, busy and busy losing a lot of things.
Married for 7 years, the children are 5 years old, and they have not escaped the itch of seven years.
He was preoccupied with his work and had little time left for me and my children. Divorced, he scrambled to fight with me for custody, and the child was finally awarded to him.
Even so, not long after the divorce, he sent the child back to me because of his work assignment.
A few months ago, he transferred back and took the child away again.
I don't feel at ease and go to see the kids every week. When the child saw me, he cried and said that his father came home late every day, and he was very scared alone.
The child is cared for by the grandmother, but from an early age, he is not close, and the child is very lonely.
Every time the child held me in tears and asked me, "Mom, can you come back and live, I want to be with Mom and Dad." ”
After listening, my tears fell without a fight. Eventually, for the sake of the kids, we moved back together.
Since I went back, I can see that he is changing, reducing a lot of work to spend with the children.
There are considering remarriage, as long as the children are good, everything is good.
For the sake of children to go back, not a few.
A piece of flesh that fell from his body, only he was the most distressed.
As long as you think clearly, others will have nothing to say.
3
Not reconciled
I don't want to make the other person feel good
@Ms. Xu (divorced for 6 years)
Divorce does not leave home, we take the divorce certificate, each sleeping in each room.
House, one person has half. No one wants to move out unless they pay the other half in cash.
The two signed an agreement, each cooking his own meal, each sleeping in his own bedroom, and not interfering with each other.
Sometimes in order to be angry, they will deliberately make some moths, just to make the other party feel good.
They are all old and old, their children are all married, and at such an age, it doesn't matter if they love or not. I just don't want to be willing to leave and don't want to be good to the other party.
After most of my life, I have now become a roommate relationship, or a roommate who does not look at each other well.
The children all advised us to live separately, and the old place was used to living, and we couldn't live without.
It's also quite good now, so that no one will have to think about it again, find an outsider to come in, and add trouble and burden to the children.
Between husband and wife, who said there was no overnight feud.
Some couples, when they are together, do not have a good time, and do not want each other to have a good life when they are separated.
The resentment accumulated over the years cannot be thought of by myself, and no one can persuade him.
After the divorce, it could have been different and no longer had any relationship. But there are people who are willing to hate each other day by day, to be enemies, and not to be just a bystander.
▽
The complexity of marriage, the complexity of human nature.
Some people think that since they are gone, they must be clean.
There are also people who are themselves confused, so that they hesitate and break the thread.
This is a matter of personal choice, as long as you can bear it, you do not regret it, others will only have four words: respect, blessing!