Have you ever thought about:
What does it taste like for a rotten apple to continue chewing in the mouth?
It must be hard to feel sick.
Visiting Sweet Rain's current marriage gives people such a feeling.
Her husband obviously stole love during her pregnancy, but she only knew how to endure it vigorously, and when she couldn't hold back, she only secretly cried.
Ask her: Have you really forgiven your husband?
She said: No.
Then ask her, "Then why pretend to be indifferent?" ”
She replied, "Because of the newborn child, a complete home is needed..."
Sitting in the consultation room, Sweet Rain, who had endured her husband's betrayal for more than a year, could no longer cry uncontrollably.
During her pregnancy, confinement, illness... In all the moments when they needed companionship the most, my husband was absent and slept in another woman's bed.
Presumably, only women who have experienced similar situations can feel the pain of it.
Men cheating often have a devastating impact on women's psychology.
But why do some women prefer to endure the torment of pain like Sweet Rain, rather than easily choose to let go?
Men betray marriage, why do women choose to be patient?
During the consultation, I constantly went close to Sweet Rain and went deep into her inner world.
Yes, the child is a barrier that she has a hard time crossing, and she does not want to see the child lack of paternal love as soon as she is born.
In order to give her child a formally complete home, she gritted her teeth even if she had a hard time.
But in fact, she chose to endure for more than one reason.
She said: "I have been loved by my father since I was a child, but my father died early, and I have always missed my father in my heart.
When I was 26 years old, I was standing in the wind and rain, and he came with an umbrella.
At that moment, I smelled my father's scent from him.
It felt like I was holding my father in the palm of my hand again.
If I left him, as if I were back in the grief of saying goodbye to my father that year, how could I experience this piercing separation again? ”
When I heard this, I was very sad and sweet rain, and I lost the nourishment of my father's love early.
I also understand why she is so attached to this spoiled marriage.
Some psychologists once said that a girl's relationship with her father when she was a child planted the seeds for her relationship with the opposite sex when she became an adult.
Father is like a big tree in Sweet Rain's heart, always able to give himself the love and warmth he wants when he is most vulnerable and needs it most.
As a result, she has a deep attachment to her father and unconsciously projects this attachment onto her partner.
Her husband has become the man she imagined, who should love her like her father.
And her husband betrayed her, she did not go directly to the other party to yell hard, is not willing to face the fact that you may lose each other.
In order not to repeat the separation trauma of losing the father's love, it seems that only by continuing to maintain the relationship will you feel that you are not disconnected from your father.
As she herself said, every time she saw the woman's meat and hemp WeChat message to her husband, she was eager to leave him immediately.
But as soon as her husband said a few more warm and comforting words to her, or cooked a meal for her, she immediately felt the warmth of father's love...
As a result, she struggled with her attachment to her husband.
While enduring my husband's embrace of the third party, I also coveted that my husband could bring me more warmth.
I saw a truth:
Sweet Rain lives inside an extremely fragile girl who needs love, and withdrawing from her attachment to her husband may also make her feel panicky about being on the verge of "extinction".
She could not afford such a serious consequence, like a leaf that could not survive without a branch.
However, if she endured like this, would the black hole in her heart be able to see the sun?
Fantasy is beautiful, but reality is always very bone.
Patience is not a step back from the sea, but further darkness
Psychologist Freud said that your repressed emotions will eventually explode in an even uglier form.
The emotional explosion revealed by Sweet Rain in the consultation room confirmed that the woman who endured her husband's betrayal did not usher in a sea and sky.
On the contrary, because Tianyu endured pain for a long time, her suppressed emotions became "little monsters", causing great attacks and injuries to her body and mind.
She rolled out two hospital reports, one that read: "Moderate depression" and the other: "Uterine fibroids."
And the husband, at the beginning of the secret love and was still a little scared, and then saw that Tianyu did not go online with himself, and became more and more unscrupulously entangled with the third party.
At one point, Sweet Rain asked him, "If I give you a chance, would you like to return to your family?" ”
The husband actually said: "You don't look at what you look like now, think about it, how many excellent men are not stealing now?" You turn a blind eye, and we continue to live like this, isn't it good? ”
After hearing this, Sweet Rain instantly fell into despair.
She was looking for warmth in her heart, but her husband gave her a "bullet".
Obviously, she was struggling to suppress her true feelings, struggling in the mire of pain, in exchange for an increasingly unbearable and dark sea of suffering.
Life clearly has unlimited possibilities, why should women draw the ground as a prison and cocoon themselves?
In this way, I am embarrassed by myself, and I can't get happiness.
Fortunately, not all women are so reclusive to betrayal of men.
Friend Little A, 9 years ago at a friend party learned the news of her husband's betrayal, after a bit of self-examination of the husband's betrayal, did not blindly endure.
She first euphemistically told her husband that as long as he was willing to return, she would forgive him once.
At the same time, Xiao A also kept a secret photo of her husband hugging a third party as evidence to protect herself in the future.
Sure enough, the husband's nature is difficult to change, after the East Window incident, he only briefly converged for a period of time, and soon found other small fours and small fives, soaking in the affair of the warblers and swallows all day long.
Provoked Xiao A to immediately file for divorce, and also got 300,000 compensation through the evidence in his hand.
After the divorce, she went abroad alone with her son for several years, and when she returned to China, she transformed into a rich wife worth tens of millions.
He also made a career of his own, and lived a rich and colorful new life, which is quite enviable.
Little A's story let me see:
When a woman bravely steps her thighs to pursue herself, it is often the beginning of rebirth.
No matter where the marriage goes, you must be yourself
1, know who you are, you know where to go
On the tombstone of the ancient Greek philosopher Socrates, five big words are engraved: Know yourself!
"Who am I?"
Such a seemingly simple question, many people have not found a conclusive answer in their lives.
So in the relationship, it is not clear who you are, and you can't see what your real needs are in your heart.
But if you don't know yourself, how can you find yourself?
Just like the sweet rain in the story, the subconscious mind stores deep father-daughter separation trauma, which will produce a high concentration of attachment to the husband, and encounter the betrayal of the other party but do not have the courage to leave.
Being more aware of ourselves in a relationship will help us to know ourselves better, so that we will not get lost in the relationship and have a clearer direction for the future.
2. Allow yourself to show emotions
Encountering betrayal by men is a major psychological shock for most women.
If you want to cry and don't dare to cry, if you want to make trouble, if you have any grievances and hurt emotions, they are all hidden, then the emotions will be like a monster in a cage, and sooner or later there will be a day when you are caught off guard, completely drowning you.
There is no shame in being hurt, and don't look at yourself with judgment.
All the sadness, pain, and difficult emotions are the most normal emotions of human beings.
When you learn to tell yourself, "I can go and cry in front of him," "I can go to him and crave his sins," or "I can cry out loud when I'm alone"...
At this time, you open a channel for your emotions, the suppressed emotions will pour out, and you yourself will feel the pleasure of emptying yourself.
When your emotions are stable, you can calm down, think about your life, and make more favorable choices.
If you are deeply involved in emotional problems, you can @ Heart Help Lu Yue Private Message me or leave a message in the comments, I will help you.
#Emotional Review Awards # #婚外情 #
Learn more