In June 2020, a search notice published in the Peninsula Morning Post was frantically reprinted online, and under it was more than a clue and a common prayer blessing.
A closer look revealed that the searchers were an old couple, and they were looking for a daughter who had not been in contact with them for many years.
But the reason for the loss of contact is not because of disappearances or other uncontrollable events, but most likely only because the daughter has made up her mind to break off relations with them.
The old man searched for many unsuccessful results, and the revelation of the search for people was that he was old, the old two were seriously ill, and they felt that they would soon die, hoping to look at their daughters again before leaving this world.
But they did not expect that after this notice was issued, it caused an uproar on the Internet, and the story of them and their daughter caused great concern among netizens.
So, can the two old people finally find the daughter who has been thinking about it for more than ten years? Where is their daughter now and what happened to her? And what is the reason why she has not contacted her parents for more than ten years?
The only daughter of a poor family
In Lushun, Dalian in 1979, an ordinary couple ushered in the birth of their long-awaited child.
When they learned that it was a daughter, the two couples were not lost.
In that era, many families believed in the concept of "more children and more blessings", and some families with backward ideas and concepts felt that only boys could bear the responsibility of passing on incense in the future, so they vowed not to give up without giving birth to a boy.
But this couple did not have such an old concept, they named their daughter Cao Qian, looking at her pink little face, their hearts were going to melt.
The two people who loved this little guy decided to want this child, instead of having so many future energy distractions and not educating one, it was better to raise her with all her efforts to raise her as an adult with this baby daughter and give her the best love and education.
Cao Qian's childhood was full of happiness in full of love. Her parents are ordinary workers, the family does not have much money, can only maintain the family's food, clothing and housing.
But what Cao Qian wants and needs, her parents will buy it for her even if she saves it from between her teeth.
When she was a child, Cao Qian was very weak, and she had a cold and fever or other diseases at every turn. Her parents often stayed at her bed all night, sensed something was wrong, and rushed her to the hospital, though it might not be a major symptom.
However, poor parents in the world, the daughter's affairs in their eyes, even a little wind and grass will cause a storm.
She is not in good health, and her parents often buy her some meat to eat even if they eat worse. Under the meticulous companionship and care of her parents, as she grew older, Cao Qian's resistance increased little by little, and she no longer fell ill like when she was a child.
Cao Qian, who lives in the meticulous care of her parents, has not disappointed them, since she was in elementary school, she has been very self-conscious in her studies, her academic performance is also very good, and she often gets back various awards from school.
The honor that hung over the walls of the home made the parents very proud, and they were full of confidence in their daughter's future.
Contradictions are rising
Cao Qian, who was carefully cared for by her parents and received more attention and preference from her teachers at school because of her good grades, felt more and more breathless.
Since she went to school, studying has become her only task, and getting good grades has become her only goal. In the eyes of her parents, as long as Cao Qian learns the study well, it is the thing that makes them happiest, and she does not have to take care of other things in the family.
In fact, Cao Qian is very sensible at a young age, watching her parents make money hard, and she consciously helps with any housework she can do at home.
But as she began to go to school, she could no longer interfere with these things, and several times after eating, she rushed to wash the dishes, but she was stopped by her mother: "You don't have to care about these things, you have to spend all your thoughts on studying, studying well, than how much work you help your mother to do, your mother is happy." 」 ”
However, these words did not sound concerned to Cao Qian, but made her feel aggrieved and under great pressure.
She has worked very hard to get a good grade, but how boring it would be every day if all her life was filled with learning! Moreover, she just watched her mother work hard every day and wanted to help her reduce the pressure a little.
As she grew older, her parents became more disciplined in her education and supervision. In Cao Qian's life, nothing other than studying can basically appear. Parents often look through her bag to check for "prohibited items."
Sometimes she invited her classmates to play at home, and her parents gave her little time to be alone with her classmates. Cao Qian felt that they were afraid that she and her classmates would play for a long time and delay the study time.
This made Cao Qian feel depressed, and gradually gave birth to the idea of escaping from her parents.
So in those years, although Cao Qian was a little princess at home who "stretched out her hands and food to open her mouth", and was a bully who was liked by teachers and admired by her classmates at school, she was not happy at all, and the idea of escaping from here became stronger day by day.
I went to the south to study unsuccessfully
As the college entrance examination approached, Cao Qian also slowly calculated how to go in the future.
Since she was a child, she has longed for the outside world, feels that the climate in the south is warm and pleasant, and the scenery is beautiful, and she very much hopes to live there for a while.
So when she filled in the college entrance examination volunteer, she chose several favorite colleges and universities in the south for herself, thinking that this time she could finally fly out to see the outside world.
Of course, if you go to the south, you can stay away from your parents, and they can't take care of her in every detail. But at that time, this reason may only be a small part of Cao Qian's choice of foreign countries, after all, at that time, she and her parents did not have any major contradictions.
But after hearing her thoughts, his father suddenly became emotional, and he said in a stern tone that Cao Qian had almost never heard since she was a child:
"Go south! Why are you running so far? You go so far in case something happens, can Mom and Dad rush over to help you? I think Liaoning Normal College is very good, close to our home, you can go home conveniently, me and your mother if you miss you or go to see you."
Cao Qian turned her eyes to her mother for help, but she only agreed with what her father said and said that she thought the same thing.
In this way, Cao Qian and her parents refused to compromise, and the relationship between the family suddenly dropped to the freezing point.
When finally filling in the volunteers, no one could convince anyone, so they had to take a step back from each other, and Cao Qian removed one of the volunteers she had originally chosen and added the Liaoning Normal School.
But fate seemed to be joking with Cao Qian, the notice was sent, and she happened to be admitted to the Liaoning Normal School.
Her parents were very happy to see this result, but Cao Qian was not happy at all. Moreover, at this time, she slowly developed some resentment towards her parents, if it were not for them, how could she be so lost with the longing South?
But everything could not be repeated, and Cao Qian went to school with resentment towards her parents.
Temporarily escaping from her parents' supervision, Cao Qian suddenly felt relieved. In the university, the teacher is only responsible for lecturing, the basic thing to learn is to rely on self-awareness, and there are many things full of temptations around, and Cao Qian, who has been suppressed for too long, gradually becomes more and more tolerant of herself, and begins to learn to skip classes, and even go out to play all night.
In fact, sometimes people do become like springs, and the longer they are suppressed, the more difficult it is to take them back when they let go.
Cao Qian is like this, she gradually changed from a good student in high school to a marginal figure who hangs up the subject one after another, and if she continues like this, let alone have a beautiful future that can be expected, even graduation is a problem.
In the past two years of college, because of volunteering, Cao Qian's relationship with her parents has always been tense, she always finds various reasons to stay in school, although it is close, but the number of times she returns home is countless.
Her parents never imagined that they would leave their daughter by their side as they wished, but they pushed her heart to a place where they could no longer touch it.
go abroad
In her junior year, Cao Qian's school introduced a policy to send students with good grades to study abroad. This made Cao Qian's heart light up hope again, originally hung up many courses of her graduation has become a problem, but if she goes abroad, these problems can be solved, including the home she does not want to go back to, can also be far away.
After establishing the goal of going abroad, Cao Qian began to spend all her time and energy on studying, her head was hanging from the beam cone, and she was talented, which was the material for learning.
It didn't take long for her to catch up and successfully qualify for the country.
She went home to discuss with her parents, but they listened to their daughter's decision and both fell silent for a long time.
At the end, the mother said, "Son, that foreign country is so far away, you say that you are not familiar with the place of life there, how can you reassure us?" ”
This is the same thing that was said when she was not allowed to go to school in the south. Cao Qian didn't have the heart to listen anymore, she angrily quarreled with her parents and ran away.
The old couple looked at their daughter's distant back and looked at each other helplessly for a long time.
Sleepless at night, the mother slowly discussed with her father: "Or, let her go, I didn't let her go to school in the south, and now I have an awkward relationship with us, this time I won't let her go, I'm afraid she won't pay attention to us in the future!" ”
"But this is not only a question that we can't answer, you just didn't hear your child say that you have to go abroad for at least 70,000 yuan, where do we go to get so much money?"
"Borrow, what else can I do..."
In this way, Cao's father, who had never bowed his head to anyone in his life, borrowed money from others in a low voice and finally made up 70,000 yuan. The mother carefully wrapped the money in newspaper and handed it to Cao Qian.
She took the money, didn't say anything to her parents, and went to pack her bags.
In fact, at that time, Cao Qian should still see the difficulties of her parents, and she also knew that it was not easy for her parents to get this money to send themselves abroad, but she was used to using a cold face to her parents and did not say any words of gratitude.
According to the memories of her roommates at Liaoning Normal School, Cao Qian also told them at that time that her parents had done their best to send her abroad this time, borrowing everyone who could borrow, and the living expenses after going abroad could only rely on herself.
In this way, Cao Qian, with her parents' 70,000 yuan and uneasy expectations, embarked on a flight to Germany and confidently started her new life.
Ironically, many years later, Cao Qian did redefine the value of her life in a foreign country, but her parents desperately paved the way to the future for her, but never waited for her to look back at herself even once.
Missing contact
Life abroad is not as glamorous and beautiful as Cao Qian imagined, and the first problem encountered was money.
She originally thought that as long as she went abroad smoothly, found a job here by herself, and studied while working, she would no longer have to rely on her family to give money. But this is not the case.
When she first arrived in Germany, she did not understand the language, and before formally studying professional courses, she had to study a year of preparatory courses.
During this period, she had to work hard to break through the language difficulties, professional courses could not be left behind, but also to go to work, it was easy to say that it was easy to bite the teeth and work hard, but in fact, she did not have so much energy.
Therefore, in the first year of going to Germany, she still asked her parents for more than 30,000 yuan.
This made the life of the two old people, who were already overwhelmed by huge debts, more difficult, but what made them feel even more chilling was their daughter's attitude of ignoring herself.
At first, cao qian would call home after a while to talk to her parents about the latest situation.
But the trans-ocean telephone is very expensive, which makes Cao Qian, who is not rich in the economy, very distressed, so the phone calls are getting less and less, and it is getting shorter and shorter. In the view of Cao's father and mother, the child calls back, can't say a few words, and finally falls on one thing, that is, asking for money.
Later, Cao Qian was reluctant to call, so she changed to writing letters, but only wrote two letters in three years.
Around 2005, she called her parents again after a long time, and Cao's father, who had not heard from his daughter for a long time, picked up, heard her voice, and the worries and resentments that had accumulated for a long time suddenly vented out: "You still know that you have parents!" Is there no money again, what will you do when you call except for money! ”
Indeed, before, whether Cao Qian called or wrote a letter, she basically just talked about her own situation and never gave her parents even a greeting.
After being scolded by her father, Cao Qian was also angry: "Well, I will never look for you again!" He hung up the phone. Cao Mu wiped her tears and complained to her wife: "It's hard to wait for her news, what can't you say well?" ”
However, Cao Qian, who spoke angrily, was still whipped by reality and bowed her head to reality, and ten months later, her life had reached the point of almost running out of food, and she had no choice but to call her parents again for help, but the phone was connected, and Cao's father's first sentence was: "There is no news for such a long time, I thought you were dead!" ”
Scolded by this, Cao Qian was silent for a while, and hung up the phone without saying anything.
Cao Qian, who already had a grudge against her parents, was instantly filled with hatred in her heart, and she vowed that she would never contact her family again. This time she did what she said, and for more than a decade, her parents never heard from her again.
In 2018, Cao's father and mother, who are already over the age of ancient, have a terrible thought in the waiting and longing for years: Will the child have an accident long ago? At this time, they could not sit still any longer, and through the village committee, they contacted the Chinese Embassy in Germany, and the staff there, after some efforts, found Cao Qian and confirmed that she was not in trouble, and that she was now a tenured professor at the University of Munich and had formed her own family.
But when it comes to her parents, she refuses to contact them and refuses to show up. Under German law, staff members could not force her.
It was not until 2020 that the two old men with broken candles knew that time was short and afraid that they would not see the last side of their daughter, and the opening scene appeared.
But unfortunately, until 2021, Cao's mother suffered from breast cancer and Cao's father died of kidney cancer one after another, and he did not wait for his daughter to look back even a glance.
At that time, some Chinese in Germany found Cao Qian and told her about her parents' situation, hoping that she could return to China to see the second elder, but in the end she only refused because she was busy with work and had no time, and she also said that her parents just wanted to control her, and she was almost ruined by them.
In contrast, seeing that the post he sent out was full of scolding of Cao Qian, the second elder regretted it: "I don't know if this will happen, but don't let Professor Cao Qian be unable to do it because of this!" ”
Seeing this, there was only a sadness in my heart.
It is true that in the education of Cao Qian, her parents have some quick success and intervene in her future choices, although it is wrong, but Cao Qian, who has received higher education, can not understand her parents a little, in any case, her parents raised her to grow up, sending her abroad has done her best, but she directly cut off the blood and family affection because of her parents' intervention and some complaints, sad and lamentable.
However, on the other hand, perhaps it was her parents' doting on Cao Qian since she was a child that made her develop the habit of only herself in her eyes and no parents.
Education outside the home can raise her into a self-reliant, kind and friendly person, but the understanding and love of her parents may not be able to be rebuilt in her heart.