01
Psychologist Adler said, "You don't live to meet the expectations of others, and others don't live to meet your expectations." ”
People interact with each other, it is a game, someone pulls you, someone steps on you, but you don't care. Because your life needs to be your own decision, no matter how good others are to you, they cannot live for you.
The more you expect from people, the greater the disappointment. Therefore, in the Internet age, no matter who you talk to about WeChat, you must be cold. We can't be "social", but we can adjust our mindset.
Expectations are not high, disappointments are less, and life is better.
02
In the lively group, see more and talk less.
Some groups, particularly annoying. Every time you open WeChat, you can see dozens, or even hundreds of messages. You see from the beginning to the end, estimating that it will take a few minutes. If you reply to everyone once, it's even more time-consuming.
Zhihuli, there is such a question: "What do people who don't like group chat generally think?" ”
Netizen "Radio Wave Jun should be happy" said that his company has many groups. Some people talk about gossip behind their boss's back. Your words to me have created an information asymmetry.
He wanted to say something in the group, but after thinking about it, he forgot about it. If you are not careful, the colleagues around you will despise themselves and be full of malice.
Just open it once in a while and know what's going on. In doing so, the atmosphere of the group chat will not disturb yourself.
In fact, in some groups, there are also "eyes and ears". Your words will become the handle of others.
In the "Eunuchs of the Ming Dynasty", it is written: "The Jin dynasty is becoming more and more open, and the Maoju bureaucracy is meticulous, spreading out the lieutenants, and spying from near and far, so that people cannot be saved." ”
The eunuch Liu Jin laid eyeliner everywhere, inside and outside the imperial court, everywhere, making people invincible.
Although the current society is not the Ming Dynasty, the lessons of history have to be remembered. Why harm others and harm oneself because of a word?
03
When you encounter someone who is entangled, ignore it.
There is a way that Xiu Cai met the soldiers, and the reason is not clear.
No matter how good your eloquence is, you can't make those who like to find trouble go home satisfied.
A mess, the more you talk, the more you will get trapped. It is better to quit and go their separate ways.
I have seen a philosophical story: Shakyamuni was chased and scolded by a vicious man.
He didn't say anything back, and waited until the man finished scolding before asking, "If you go to visit a friend with a gift, but the friend is not at home, what should you do?" ”
The man said, "Of course I came home with a gift." ”
Shakyamuni smiled and left; if the man had realized something, he would have regretted his disrespect.
When a person adds up their bad words, you are as indifferent as a wall, then all the words will go back to the past. This is the consequence of "self-deprecation".
The more others have to pester, every day to talk to you about some bad things, the more you have to use "silence" to pay tribute to him. You blocked him, then all the garbage messages, out of sight.
04
Work with people and don't talk about money.
Nowadays, more and more people are accustomed to sending WeChat red envelopes, transferring money, etc.
When you cooperate with people, you can negotiate money, and you can also immediately distribute dividends clearly and do a good job in financing.
How should people talk about money when interacting with each other? It is recommended not to go straight to the point and avoid being disliked.
Also, if it's a few cents of money, don't worry about it. There is a very fashionable saying: "A point is also love." "You can only look at it, smile, don't worry.
Writer Wang Lu once told such a thing: one day, he and his friend Uncle Cat chatted through the Internet. Uncle Cat wanted to ask him something about writing. Before he could have a good chat, Uncle Cat rewarded him with dozens of yuan.
Later, the two of them ate together offline and didn't say a few words about writing. It is polite to pull home. Before the breakup, a single business was introduced.
There is a saying that goes: "There is no ambition without indifference, and there is no distance without tranquility." ”
People who really talk about money are very generous. Treat some small money as a small matter of courtesy, rather than holding the money and not letting go.
05
When you are looked down upon, don't get in the group.
Teacher Chen Guo said: "The communication between people, language is the lowest grade. When you can only communicate by talking, the two of you are far apart. ”
Interpersonal communication requires empathy, not verbal comfort and face care. However, it is difficult to meet people who feel empathy. Even your parents may not understand you.
In the "Awakening to the Everlasting Word", there is a person named Qin Zili, who was born during the Tianbao period of the Tang Dynasty. His parents hoped that he would be able to study well and get a meritorious name, but he did not like to read, and often spent time with some people who danced with guns and sticks.
Once, when Qin Zili came home with a group of people who liked to hunt, her mother closed the door and said, "My family has no firewood, go somewhere else." ”
His mother's words and deeds made him ugly in public. Since then, he signed up for the army, and after six or seven years, he returned to his hometown.
Whether it is a WeChat circle or a life circle, there is a phenomenon of "different Ways are not conspiratorial". Instead of desperately trying to find a topic, it is better to live alone.
When you don't have grades, you have to be careful with anyone, as if you are half short.
Don't chat, learn more, and go your own way. When you succeed, others will be polite to you.
06
The writer Yi Shu said: "People in the city, seemingly glamorous, are actually hidden loopholes." The high-level friends are full of people, and the guests are like clouds, but there may not be three or two who can really talk with their hearts. ”
On the road of life, you will meet a lot of people, you go to the street, there are people everywhere. But most people can't talk. Or because of interests, or because of poor feelings, or inability to understand, or because of psychological darkness... But you don't care about anything.
If you always give face to others, you will be very tired; if you want others to give face, you will be disappointed.
Not trapped by the word "warm", you don't have to live so hard.
Dare to be a "cold" person, because of the sense of distance, but will complete more warmth.
Of course, people who always can't talk, it's best to delete, turn around, and never see again.
Finally, share a poem with you.
You must keep your mouth shut when you have to keep your mouth shut, and when you have to let go, you must let go.
If you can let go and shut up, there will be eight or nine years of tranquility.
Everyone encourages.
Author: Cloth coarse food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The illustrations in this article come from the Internet.