What is it like to be comfortable chatting with someone?

I used to be confused about the chat thing.

I used to be a bad communicator. At that time, I felt that I was not familiar with words, there was no need to make small talk, and I was not willing to confide in others my thoughts and opinions.

However, now that I think about it, it shouldn't be, people are social animals, and we should accept and make better friends in a friendly way.

I don't like you, and you don't like me. We don't have to communicate.

This creates a kind of embarrassment - there are only a few friends who can be friends.

You are not good at communicating - do not want to communicate - afraid of communication will not come - give up communication.

Have you ever thought that the essence of our communication is to generate value for the purpose of exchanging information?

Or, emotional value.

Or, the value of the information.

The emotional value is, let's relax with each other, laugh nonsense.

The value of information is to let us understand work information and better work life.

Therefore, this answer is not only applicable to communication with the opposite sex, but also to communication and nonsense with buddies and girlfriends. You know, I'm talking about the underlying logic, instead of letting you copy and use it directly, you have to move your head with an IQ of 110 and try to imitate it

practice.

Okay, pull so much again, don't rip the calves, open the whole.

The purpose of this article is threefold:

1 Help you become a communicative person

2 Make our communication more efficient and valuable

3 Become a popular person.

Chatting is not about letting you play tricks.

Chatting is not about getting you to talk.

Want these, or turn off this answer well, I am fundamentally sincere and kind, those words are really not interesting, and it is not consistent with my three views, and I do not want everyone to think about going in this direction.

The problem of chatting is essentially an exchange of thought output.

The reason why you feel that the other party can talk and understand you - is because you have a lot of intersection together, and you can understand more terriers.

The reason you think the other person is funny, humorous - because they laugh at each other and always surprise each other.

Want these, or turn off this answer Well, the root of my life lies in sincerity and kindness, those words are really not interesting, and they do not match my three views, and I don't want everyone to think about going in this direction.

The reason why you think the other party can talk and understand you is because you understand the common intersection and can understand the stem of the terrier.

First of all, many boys and girls chat, always do not know what to talk about.

You like this girl very much, and it is hard to go to people's WeChat. He did not dare to speak, for fear of exposing his shortcomings and making women look down on themselves. After thinking about it, I finally plucked up the courage and said "Hello". People reply to you, suddenly overwhelmed, psychological fawns bumped, in order not to show embarrassment, and then began to ask questions:

What do you do?

How old are you?

What do you like to eat?

you.

You know what people think: don't ask, please, don't want to go back!

Even if many people are not like this, but there will be times when they are overwhelmed, then what I want to nag below, can completely solve this problem, so that the chat no longer becomes a question and answer, but also more sincere and interesting.

First, what is the chat mode of one question and one answer

Many people may ask, I know this! Look, there are many doorways here!

First think about the question, what is the purpose of chatting with girls?

1 In order to solve the problem, I have a working relationship with a girl

2 In order to regulate the mood and make both parties feel happy

If chatting with girls is to solve a problem, or to testify things, you must be serious, serious and serious to deal with,

Well, there is no problem with the one-question-and-answer chat mode! There is no problem at all, so that it can be more efficient and more quality to complete the task and solve the problem.

Answer the chat mode.

Asking and answering is a means of communication for us to solve problems and deal with things, and this process is beyond reproach and natural.

However, when you are not familiar with girls, the question-and-answer mode will become the so-called household registration check.

You're not from the police station, so that idleness!

example:

M: Have you eaten?

The woman has eaten

M: What kind of food did you eat?

F: Hot pot

M: Where do you eat?

woman:......

Know: asking is asking for information from others, asking for value! The answer is to give information and value to others.

woman:.....

People with high emotional intelligence will take the initiative to help others, give value and take the initiative to pay to increase the favorability of others to themselves, and the more others know about themselves, the more they are sought after!

So, constantly asking for information causes you to like her more and more, and the other party does not understand you.

Second, why the pattern of one question and one answer is created

You have also seen a lot of science bullies, those who have rational thinking can always figure out the correct answer, their rational logical thinking is very strong, but often the perceptual logic will be weak. This is also the reason why many girls say that polytechnic men do not understand girls!

To speak of a pattern that creates a question-and-answer pattern requires dissecting our big hearts

Left brain: primary managerial logical analysis ability.

Right brain: mainly manages the ability to analyze emotional emotions.

So, got it? Most of us grew up writing with our right hand, exercising our left brain. Even if you're left-handed and have no one to hint or guide you, it's hard to use your imagination.

Most people create a question-and-answer pattern because they always use their left brain to think about problems, the content of the chat is implemented, what is what is, the rationality of the left brain causes chat embarrassment, and the idea of solving the problem.

The sensibility of the right brain can always make people chat, and the intention is not effective, such as funny, happy, and funny.

People who can chat rely on the right brain to imagine and the left brain to express.

What does that mean? It is to imagine the scene of the two of you chatting, the topics mentioned, the unrealistic pictures that come to mind, can be said, even nonsense, but this will make people happy and produce emotional value.

Boys and girls chatting, can not use the left brain a lot, but to use the right brain's emotional thinking!

For example:

Use of the left brain:

M: What are you doing?

F: Watching TV.

M: Oh, what a show.

This is the left brain of rational thinking, which solves problems and asks for information without generating emotional value.

It is easy to fall into the trap of an endless cycle using the left brain, too entangled in the correct answer to a question, and easy to cause the feeling of leverage!

That is to say, too obsessed with the correct answer to a topic, you have to know that this is meaningless, the atmosphere and atmosphere of your chat are very embarrassing, only the more you talk more and more boring, who wants to spend time with a person to debate a meaningless thing?

Chatting - is a waste of time and energy.

If you can't make each other happy, it's better not to bring emotional value than not to talk.

This is also the reason why many people don't reply to your messages.