Time is a sieve that filters out for us, passers-by who do not belong to us in the first place, leaving only the important people in life. People at different ages will have different pursuits and different perceptions. When I was young, I felt that friendship was greater than heaven, and I hoped that the more friends I had, the better.
But after experiencing some twists and turns, I gradually understood that not all fish will live in the same sea, and some people will always leave when they come. When they come, we rejoice, and when they leave, we are no longer lonely and sad.
The process of growing up is a process of self-acceptance and reconciliation. People and things that were once ingrained with their hearts will also be relieved and indifferent under the baptism of the years. What was originally on the mind, now looking back, is nothing more than that.
The gap between people was almost the same at first. What really distances us is our experiences and the choices we make in the face of those experiences.
We might as well look back at past experiences. The place of loss is often emotionally, and the mistakes made are insisted. The fault is that we care too much about friendship and lose the fighting spirit we deserve.
The fault lies in trusting people's hearts too much, revealing the secrets of their hearts, and as a result, they have paid a painful lesson for this. Don't eat a trench, don't grow a wisdom. Some truths are understood and take time to teach.
For example, in interpersonal relationships, we often choose to reveal the secrets of our hearts because of intimate relationships, but we suffer a big loss. Especially when people reach middle age, they should be more careful and cautious, and must not make mistakes that cannot be forgiven at the age when they should least make mistakes.
Judging from my past experience, people who are middle-aged are advised here, even if they have a close relationship, they should not reveal the following 3 secrets, otherwise they will suffer a big loss.
1. The ugly things in your family
People like to close the distance between each other by exchanging secrets. This is a measure that is beyond reproach, but we must pay attention to the choice of secrets, and do not tell the ugly things in the family in one go.
I'm ashamed to say that I have suffered losses in this regard. When I first worked, Xiao Li and I who entered the company at the same time were particularly speculative, and there was a feeling of seeing each other and hating the night.
So, when we chose a dormitory, we became roommates. After some time together, we became good friends and shared each other's secrets. I told him about the ugly things in my house.
Of course, it is not ugly, but for me personally, it is not unpleasant. I told him all the short ugly things in my parents, and he knew that when my father was young, he made the mistakes that all boyfriends in the world would make.
I have a half-sister, and this sister is still my first love, and you say how outrageous it is. I was particularly angry, but I also knew that this was an ugly affair in the family and could not be easily revealed to outsiders.
It was only at that time that I really took him as a good friend and would tell him, and I naively thought that he would keep secrets for me. Unexpectedly, he spread it behind my back, which made me particularly embarrassed and angry.
After all, my first love worked in the same company as me, in different departments. In desperation, we had to resign and leave this place of right and wrong.
Of course, the culprit of all this has to blame himself. We should not believe in others so much and talk about the ugly things in the family. The friend you think, the other party may not take you as a friend.
2. Your network resources
When people reach the middle age, as long as they are not too wasteful of their years, they will have certain network resources, which is beyond doubt, unless this person has always been able to get by and not seek progress.
Some people like to show off their network resources. Say that you know so-and-so and can help with certain things. Of course, when you tell these secrets, your heart is happy and greatly satisfied.
As everyone knows, there will be an undercurrent behind this, coming to you. You think your network resources are just yours. Whoever hears, whenever they have a need, will come to you for help.
At this time, you are not helping, and not helping is not. Help, you are resistant in your heart, because you don't want to use this layer of contacts and resources, and you feel that it is too much of a fuss. If you don't help, righteously and sternly refuse, it will damage the friendship between you.
In short, no matter how you do it, it is wrong, and it is difficult to complete. Truly intelligent middle-aged people, they do not expose their network resources with close people. Only when the other party needs it, quietly help yourself, so that the other party will be grateful to you.
If you learn about your network resources, when the other party asks for help from you, and you do use it, but the result is not satisfactory, at this time, it will make even friends have no need to do it, this is the ugliness of people's hearts.
Never be delusional and be the savior around you. Truly wise middle-aged people will put away their network resources and not expose them to intimate relationships, until they are needed, they will coldly surprise and surprise people.
3. Your wealth and strength
When people reach middle age, wealth and strength can be said to have reached the peak level of life. Some people can't help but reveal to close people how much money they have made through a certain project, and after three or five years, they can retire and live a pension life.
This is your skill, and it is worth celebrating and sharing. However, no matter how close people are, they will inevitably not be jealous, and on the surface they are smiling and congratulating you, but they do not know that they are secretly making you bad.
I have seen many people in middle age who have suffered great losses in life only because they revealed their wealth and strength to close people, and finally ended up in a miserable situation of no harvest.
How much wealth and strength you have, that is your skill, do not happily reveal to the people around you, even if this person is your closest person, it is absolutely impossible.
On the surface, you are sharing kindly, but in fact you are giving your intimate relationship a cage of interests, and it has become no longer pure.
You are kind to him, but he may not have the strength to reach your situation. At this time, his heart will be jealous, and he will even try to destroy you.
This is the human heart, and those who cannot see close to themselves are better off than themselves. It's true that they want you to be better, but it's definitely not that they want to be better off than them.
People are middle-aged, this point of human sophistication, or to understand, do not reveal your wealth and strength, even if it is close to people, can not. There is a saying that goes, "Make a fortune with a muffled voice, because when you shout loudly, the wealth is far away from you."
When people reach middle age, they should be wise and calm. It is not right to commit a sin that even oneself cannot forgive and forgive at the age when mistakes and falls.
Some secrets, suitable for rotting in the stomach. The ugly things in your family, your connections, your wealth and strength. These are not to be said, even if this person is trusted and close to you, do not disclose.
Because once you say it, it means that your intimate relationship is no longer as pure as it was. To put it bluntly, it is the people's hearts that are at work, and not everyone wants you to live better than them.
Some people may say that even close friends can't say, these secrets, what is the meaning of that life. If you say that the meaning of your life must be linked to these 3 secrets, it means that your human life will not be too big, and it also shows from the side that you are not mature and stable enough, and do not understand the sinister nature of the human heart.
If you are well, then steal the pleasure, do not go to the intimate people, share with the heart, the above 3 secrets, otherwise you will suffer a big loss, regret not the beginning.