Grateful for the father-in-law in Xinjiang 23: The mother-in-law left and tearfully read the wife's "heart"

After the defense of the thesis in September 2005, the eleventh long holiday handed over the rental house of Chifeng Community, and then rented a house near the suburban work unit, two-bedroom households, the fifth floor, the rent was 1200, and signed a one-year rental contract.

After the eleventh long holiday, I reported to the unit and stepped into the workplace. My wife also resigned from the private hospital in Yangpu District, and found a mental health center nearby to work, still an external worker, the salary is very low, I began to consult colleagues, how to apply, fill out the form to transfer her hukou to Shanghai as soon as possible.

During the summer vacation back to Xinjiang, the mother-in-law's mouth bitterness, cold back and other symptoms are more and more obvious, film taken in Xinjiang, suspected of having bad results, in order to further confirm the diagnosis, at the end of November and the father-in-law came to Shanghai, stayed in our newly rented house, just a few days after the nearest trip, the mother-in-law felt tired, and then did not want to go out, began to register in several top three hospitals in Shanghai.

2005.11.26~2006.1.16 The story that happened in 50 days has been prepared in the series of articles "Remembering the Mother-in-law in Xinjiang". Wife 1.16 flew back to Xinjiang with my mother-in-law and father-in-law, and on the night of 2.15, my mother-in-law was critically ill, so I quickly booked a ticket to fly to Xinjiang, but due to heavy snow for 12 hours, I still did not have time to see my mother-in-law for the last time. In the few days when my mother-in-law was gone, she was in a state of illness and unconscious, and when she woke up, she also told my brother-in-law that if I bought a house in the future, let him support him. I was very touched by this.

The dead are long gone, and the living are like Sifu. Life always goes on. After bidding farewell to my mother-in-law, we returned to Shanghai, and then looked around at the clothes left by my mother-in-law when she came to Shanghai, and our eyes were misty with tears. The wife said that according to the old woman's habits, there must be money in the clothes in her cabinet, and she dug them one by one, and sure enough, there was something in each pocket, which was even more sad, which was her usual small habit, and she was poor and afraid in the past.

In the process of packing up my mother-in-law's clothes, I accidentally saw my wife's diary written by my mother-in-law after her mother-in-law's death, "heart matter", sincere and sincere, I read it over and over again, and I couldn't help but cry. The words that flow down from the heart can only shock others if they impress themselves. That day, I was touched by my wife's plain words again and again.

"Thoughts"

This is a color that I loved at a very young age, has no special meaning, and may be a memory of childhood memories...

There was a time when I found myself growing up, only because she had gone far after witnessing my growth, I still missed her, she was very smart, and we really know her now.

Without her, there would be no second life for me, and I would not be able to repay such a heavy affection... I don't think I can repay her at all, even....

She decided to adopt me, but in that situation, she still didn't give up on this choice, and I was very lucky to stay in this world, and I still remember some of the bits and pieces of my life with her when I was very young.

She is my good mother, protecting her only daughter to grow up happily, she likes to dress me up, knit beautiful sweaters for me, buy beautiful silk belts, and I love to follow her and chase her around her, I like her like this, I love to cry, she is tossed enough for this, in fact, her heart is very soft. She said that I was sensible and obedient when I was young, and I also felt that it was quite early: since I knew some things, but I didn't ask my parents the reason, I didn't want to believe things outside the home, I was afraid of losing my parents, this was a secret hidden in my heart at that time, she didn't know my mind at that time, still like my own, this is the feelings of mother and daughter.

I didn't expect to grow up but couldn't hide my heart, when I talked to her, she actually cried, I understand that this mood may be like my childhood thoughts, maybe the hardships of raising me as an adult are vividly remembered, why is she sad? How can I not be sad, I don't mean that, I only have this kind of thought when I am being trained by my parents, I feel that fate is unfair, and when I come to her shortly after birth, I can distinguish the difference between parenthood and adoption. Hearsay or hearsay, seeing my biological parents drive them away is enough to show how much I wanted to stay with her, and she knew it then.

Only complaining that I understand things too early, forming a bit of a melancholy personality, outsiders say that I am honest, I was afraid of going out since I was a child. Now I said the words that I had accumulated in my heart, but she was hurt by me, I knew that she was reluctant to let me leave her side, she did not bother me to always chase after her, like a child, I grew up, but she became a child, she is so cute. How could I leave her, she was my biological mother, for twenty years I was used to hanging the word mother on my lips every day, I loved the word, I loved her even more.

She knows that I am now living a very happy life, and she is particularly relieved to have such a good husband to take care of me.

Everyone comes into this world by accident, and leaving this world is inevitable.

She left suddenly, for me who came to this world by chance, paid so much, worried so much, I want to live optimistically, let her feel at ease in that world.

I once told × sister that my wife is a simple and silly girl, transparent like a blank piece of paper, simple as a glass of water, but my sister is sincerely praising her for being smart, really smart and sensible. At first I didn't understand, but now I have some understanding. She is very pitiful, her heart is very heavy, she is indeed a little depressed, not much to say, but she has a number in her heart, and many times she expresses her love for me in an almost attachment-like way, and takes care of this home with her heart. We are all floating in Shanghai, two people snuggling up to each other, warming each other, in this strange metropolis, like a pair of brothers and sisters, wind and rain together. I am deeply grateful for her trust and willing to take responsibility.

The departure of her mother-in-law hit her hard. I also feel sad, very sad. Four old people, I have the same mood, the same nostalgia, every time they leave, they will be sad and sad? Sometimes I can't really think about it. Thinking about how sad she felt when she wrote this letter, I was a bit overwhelmed. I was afraid that she would cry, and I was afraid that she would be wronged, and I felt that this was the responsibility that I should shoulder, but at that time, the conditions in all aspects were limited, especially when I first joined the work, which could be described as poor and white.

I hugged her that day (she didn't know that I had inadvertently seen her "heart matter"), wanted to tell her that I really loved her, and would definitely be in love with her, and felt that this statement was too tacky, and it made me embarrassed to say that it was broken. Xuzhou grandfathers are a bit of northern machismo, sweet words sometimes can not be erased, so still do not say it, with their own actions to protect her, strive for a good job, for her to create a future that can be expected, and strive to create a harbor from wind and rain.

After my mother-in-law left, the saddest thing was my father-in-law. Together for nearly forty years, once separated forever, how can we bear it emotionally? My father-in-law was a strong man, and on the day of the funeral, he was also tearful and choked up. Our children can comfort each other, there is a busy work to pin down, who should he seek? Long night alone, why is it so bad?

Because of the work relationship, when I wanted to leave Xinjiang, I hugged my wife's grandmother, aunt, second uncle, brother-in-law, these elders cried bitterly, let them enlighten their father-in-law well, because in just three months, my father-in-law had been thin and out of phase, and the self-blame was incomparable, he blamed himself for his mother-in-law's misdiagnosis, prodding and serious illness, and endured endless torture every day, hoarse voice, empty eyes, and mental trance, as if he had lost the main heart, and the heartbreak was shaking.

The elders and brothers-in-law comforted us, let us first go back to Shanghai with peace of mind.

After a few months, my father-in-law went out to work. The brothers-in-law said that it is better to change the environment in this way, and the old man will not always see things and think about people, and be more sad.

We work in Shanghai, and we are not at ease, and we call the old man regularly, ask him about living in other places, worry about his spiritual world, and comfort each other, and the pain of my father-in-law can only be slowly smoothed out by time.

Last year's Spring Festival, when the family watched "Hello, Li Huanying", the wife cried uncontrollably. Li Huanying and my mother-in-law in an era, under the conditions at that time, was also fashionable, loved beauty and life, and had all the nature and rambling nature of women, but they had no choice but to invest their limited income in improving their lives and creating a better learning and living environment for their children as much as possible.

Her expectations for her daughter, just like Li Huanying's expectations of Jia Ling, hope to study well, understand things early, and prefer to save some by herself and suffer more. Jia Ling changed the results of these small tricks, my wife has also used repeatedly, the reason why this movie box office history is the second, but also with the truth, sincerity, true feelings to capture the empathy of the audience, "the son wants to raise and do not wait", this kind of bitter regret, how is it difficult to compensate, this is also the biggest tragedy in the world.

But life always has to go on, we as children, live a good life, pass on love, this is perhaps the elders who have passed away are most willing to see, right?