As the saying goes: "Right and wrong are only for more openings, and troubles are caused by strong heads." ”
The reason you've provoked so much right and wrong is because you've talked too much. You have so much trouble, the problem is that you like to be nosy and offend other people's interests.
The so-called "gun shoots the head bird." "Behind the gossip and the carelessness, it is just self-begging and self-inflicted trouble." There are many misfortunes in life, all of which are self-inflicted.
I remember that a few years ago, I always liked to "fight" with others too much, and even pointed fingers at others. In the end, society has given us countless slaps, making us understand that doing our duty well is the way to protect ourselves.
Modern people are most likely to act extremely, manage too many trifles, have no wisdom of "breaking away", and have no realm of "pretending to be confused".
Perhaps, young people look down on "breaking away" and can't look down on "pretending to be confused". However, without these two kinds of wisdom for people to live in the world, I believe that few people can be stable in this life.
People suddenly understand in middle age that people live, as long as they do their duty, there is no need to think too much, and there is no need to manage too much.
After middle age, no matter who you deal with, these few idle things, it is best not to care.
01
After middle age, do not involve the "hatred" of others.
There is such a person in the workplace, called "peacemaker".
If there is an argument between two colleagues, there will definitely be some peacemakers who will come forward to mediate. It's just that people who are used to being peacemakers often don't have good results.
Just imagine, two immortals are fighting, you an ordinary person who doesn't know anything is involved, then the last person to be hurt is not yourself?
For the hatred of others, we should not care about anything, or even understand. Instead of forming a beam with others, it is better to do your duty and have a good relationship with the people around you.
The Lao Wang in the unit is a veritable human spirit, and when others ask him for news, he says he doesn't know. When others say bad things about the leader in front of him, he will play tai chi at the first time. Even if others provoke conflicts with him, he will swing from side to side, giving people a feeling that people and animals are harmless, have no opinion, and are not threatening.
Can you say that such a person is not good? According to traditional moral concepts, he is indeed not a good man. However, from the perspective of Mingzhe's self-preservation, he is indeed a master in this regard, and the wisdom in it is worth learning well.
02
After middle age, don't care about other people's "family affairs".
Generally speaking, most families have more or less contradictions, either the daughter-in-law hates the mother-in-law, or the son-in-law has opinions about the father-in-law and mother-in-law, anyway, family disputes are endless.
What do you think about these things?
Some people are particularly kind, not only involved in other people's family affairs, but even working against others. People like this can easily offend people and fall into the vortex of contradictions.
Some people are more indifferent, that is, they do not care about other people's family affairs, let alone what others have done. People like this can often live to the end.
Yang Xiu in the Three Kingdoms, because he guessed Cao Cao's thoughts thoroughly, even participated in the battle for the concubine, and finally lost his head.
On the contrary, Jia Xu, who is scheming and calculating, always stays out of the matter, does not care about anything, and finally ends well.
The gap between people lies not only in the level of IQ, but also in whether emotional intelligence is online.
03
After middle age, don't care about the issue of "other people's interests"
There is one thing in this world that can make people's hearts better and distort human nature. This is the money we are familiar with.
When you have money, you will find that the people around you are all good people, and there is no one in the small. When you don't have money, you will find that the people around you are all villains, and there is no good person. This is the magic of money.
In a society with the law of the jungle, people die for money and birds die for food, and this is a reality that no one can change.
Some people will hurt people for one dollar, and some people will kill people for hundreds of dollars. These things are not uncommon in the news.
Reality tells us a truth, things related to interests, try not to care, or even take a stand, unless these interests are closely related to you. Otherwise, it is better not to talk than to talk.
Zhu Deyong believes that this is an era of extreme material abundance and extreme spiritual poverty.
Perhaps, the number of people who distort human nature for the sake of monetary gain has long exceeded our imagination.
04
After middle age, don't be "nosy".
There is a saying that "idle things are not managed, idle people are not reasonable." ”
When others have difficulties and beg you, you should not immediately agree, but weigh the pros and cons. If you feel it's not in your interests, you might as well say no.
The biggest weakness of modern people is that they do not know how to "refuse". Just think, when you have difficulties, others don't help you, and when he has difficulties, then why should you help him?
As a person, it is better to maintain the principle of "you come and go".
If you salute me a foot, I can pay you back. However, if you and I have nothing to do with each other, then we may as well reduce exchanges, so as to avoid contradictions between the two sides and unnecessary disputes.
The ancients believed that everyone swept the snow in front of the door and took care of the frost on the tiles of others.
When I was young, I always thought that this statement was still too thin. But when people are old, they understand that this is the current situation of life, and this is the wisdom and truth of dealing with the world.
That's all.
Wen/Shushan has deer