When reading the original book of "Mother-in-law Is Coming", I liked Aunt He Lin more than He Lin's parents. Although the aunt has a knife mouth and a hot temper, she has far-sighted vision and is really thinking about He Lin. Although what she said was not very good, but a good word, He Lin danfan listened to a sentence, and did not have to marry Wang Chuanzhi and pit her own life.
XiaoYi believes that marriage needs to pay attention to the door to the door, to see the economic factors, that Wang Chuanzhi is a phoenix man, will definitely become the cash cow of the original family, at that time, Wang Chuanzhi's original family will become the biggest obstacle to He Lin's marital happiness. Before getting married, He Lin didn't think so, but after getting married, He Lin found that her aunt's concerns were not empty, and she became a slur.
He Lin's parents not only raised their daughters richly, let them grow up in a carefree environment, did not understand the importance of money, did not establish a correct concept of marriage, and were easily carried away by love, but also did not pit their daughters. Their 3 acts have miserably pit their own daughters, and parents should learn from them.
First, in the daughter's marriage too much respect for the daughter's opinions, did not help the daughter to take care of the good pass;
In the original work, He Lin's parents did not oppose He Lin's marriage to Wang Chuanzhi, but were very optimistic about Wang Chuanzhi, which was inseparable from their growth experience.
He Lin's father lost his mother at an early age, experienced ups and downs, was very generous and honest, worked diligently, did everything in the family, bought vegetables and cooked rice and managed the children for his wife to study, never complained, especially liked self-motivated people.
After He Lin's mother got married, she did not have a mother-in-law and did not need to deal with the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and naturally did not know how much the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law had on the marriage. Because her husband took care of the housework, He Lin's mother spent most of her time studying.
Therefore, the two of them were inexperienced, and their eyes were not good, and they could not be compared with He Lin's aunt.
In the marriage of their daughter, the two people adopted an attitude of following fate, respecting He Lin's opinions and letting He Lin, who was young and inexperienced, decide. No matter how Yu Huaqing warned and how hard he persuaded, they all thought that Yu Huaqing was unfounded and watched his daughter jump into the fire pit without knowing it.
On the first time He Lin went to see her in-laws, she was snubbed, unable to adapt to the living environment of her in-laws, seeing how the in-laws valued sons over daughters, how to use Wang Chuanzhi as a cash cow, parents with a little eyesight will realize that this marriage is unreliable and will not approve of their daughter marrying Wang Chuanzhi, unfortunately, He Lin's parents can't see it.
In the book "Why Home Hurts", it is written that when getting married, the criterion for making choices is not passion, let alone love and love, but often a sense of security, not only when elders make choices for their children, but also when young people make their own choices.
Men are afraid of entering the wrong line, women are afraid of marrying the wrong man, when the daughter chooses a mate, the parents must look at the point, maintain reason, to examine the son-in-law's character, to take the right way to persuade the daughter.
Also, rich daughters, not just throw money on the line, you not only have to give your children a good environment in material life, but also cultivate your children's vision, cultivate your children's correct view of marriage, let your children contact more things, let them understand the importance of people's hearts and money, if you cultivate your daughter into a little white rabbit who does not know anything and has a simple mind, they may be overwhelmed by love, ignore everything for love, and thus jump into the fire pit.
Second, marry your daughter without a bride price and give it to the house, so that people look down on your daughter;
The way He Lin's parents married their daughters is just as Yu Huaqing said: "I have never seen you rush to marry and take the building upside down like this!" ”
Not having a bride price is already very rare, and what is even more incredible is that He Lin's parents actually gave their daughter a generous dowry, that is, a set of three small buildings in Beijing, which was already worth 1 million yuan in 2003.
The reason why He Lin's parents gave their daughter a dowry was because they were distressed about their daughter. Wang Chuanzhi has already said that with his economic conditions, he can't afford to buy a house, and he needs to rent a house to get married after marriage, and He Lin's father married the house in order to prevent his daughter and son-in-law from suffering.
After the aunt knew, she reprimanded them. What is even more speechless is that Wang Chuanzhi's mother actually did not pay for wine on the grounds that she did not have money, so that the money for wine when He Lin got married was from her mother's family.
Uncle Moe said, "Some mothers must receive dowry money before they get married." Not because of greed for money and stubbornness, but because she wants her in-laws to value your arrival. Most people will cherish what they have given, and they will squander what they have gained empty-handed. It's not a routine, it's human nature. ”
The easier it is to get to something, the less likely it is to be cherished, as is human nature. When a girl gets married, if she is too active, gives in too much, and rushes to paste it upside down, it will make the man have a feeling, that is, you are not valuable, he has the ability, and if you do not marry him, no one wants it. Once he and other family members label you as worthless, they will look down on you and disrespect you, and you will have no place in this family.
Moreover, before marriage, they let go so much, supporting the appetite of the in-laws, and when you are married, with the shackles of the marriage certificate, they are not allowed to inch forward, using you and your parents as a cash machine?
He Lin married the house, not only failed to live and work in peace and contentment, but was occupied by the in-laws' dove, and the life became worse and worse.
Third, Guang knew to persuade peace, but ignored the real situation of his daughter.
Not long after getting married, He Lin's life plummeted.
Wang Chuanzhi is a person who regards blood relations as a hundred times more important than love and marriage, in his eyes, the original family is far greater than his wife, in order to help the original family, in order to fulfill filial piety, he not only let his family live at home and not go, but also pulled a bias when He Lin had conflicts with them, favoring the family everywhere, and what was even more infuriating was that he actually forced He Lin to kneel down and apologize for his mother, and beat He Lin with his hands.
The contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the relationship between relatives who are constantly rationalized and chaotic, and the idea of favoring sons over daughters in-laws have completely crushed He Lin. He Lin suffered from depression and decided to launch a counterattack for the sake of her young daughter, divorced Wang Chuanzhi, and regained her new life.
He Lin decided to divorce, but what were He Lin's parents doing? At this point, they actually persuaded peace.
As the saying goes, it is better to demolish a temple than to destroy a marriage, but it depends on the situation. Two people together, forming a family, is for pleasure and happiness, not to increase suffering. His daughter has been forced to suffer from depression, has no status in the family, and has been bullied by her in-laws, He Lin's parents have also persuaded her, is this not a pit daughter?
He Lin's marriage is incurable, just as He Lin finally understood, Wang Chuanzhi's love, spouse, and personal family integrity instinctively give way to the priority of mother and son, he cannot rebel against his mother for He Lin, send away his relatives, Wang Chuanzhi will not change, then only He Lin will leave.
Blind persuasion is really not possible. What's the use of a marriage that can only bring pain to your daughter?
To sum up, He Lin's parents are indeed inexperienced and do not know how to think about their daughter.
END.
Today's topic: What do you think of your daughter's behavior of divorcing her parents to persuade her? Feel free to share your views in the comments section.