01
The ancients said: "Boiled beans burn beans, beans cry in the kettle." ”
In any case, brothers and sisters are a family, even if they quarrel every day, or even turn their faces, they cannot deny the blood relationship.
Affection is a feeling of blood dissolved in water, like a bean in a pot.
When we were young, we ate at the same table, studied and worked together; as we grew older, our brothers and sisters took different paths and lived different lives, and the level of people was clear at a glance.
Generally speaking, retired people, among their brothers and sisters, are relatively good people, and they should help a large family and assume the role of the main backbone.
Reality tells us that people get too close to each other, and it is a disaster, even if it is a family.
Here, it is recommended that retired elderly people should not frequently associate with their brothers and sisters, but should grasp the scale.
02
Retired people, who often go to the homes of poor siblings, are considered to be "showing themselves up."
The old ancestor left two sentences: "The Tao is different, there is no conspiracy; people are more than people, and they are angry with people." ”
When you retire, your siblings may not necessarily retire, and even later, they will not have the opportunity to enjoy retirement benefits. The reason is that the family is too poor to pay the pension insurance of employees; there is no stable job, and life has been very confused.
In contrast, those relatives who are very poor are not living as well as you. On the other hand, children in several families will also have different children's appearances because the pattern of the older generation is different.
My cousin, Lao Li, stayed at my brother's house in the countryside for a month last summer and went fishing in a nearby reservoir every day. The brother not only had to cultivate the land, but also managed Lao Li's food.
When talking usually, Old Li likes to talk about some things about the original unit, and also takes out his own trophy to show everyone.
One day, my brother couldn't help but say two words: "If you are idle, go to the rice field to pull grass; if you are very rich, go to the city to spend." ”
The sour two sentences made the old man unable to hang on to his face. After all, the countryside was not as laid-back and fun as he thought. Lao Zhang's way of life is undoubtedly to "show himself", in a different way, to demean others.
Man, without contrast, there is no harm. You don't have to use your sense of superiority to compare the "sense of loss" of your loved ones.
03
Retired people, when associating with their brothers and sisters, will inevitably turn over old accounts.
As the saying goes, "The cold door makes the noble son." ”
As an ordinary family, reading is the best way out.
When we were young, we all loved to read and hoped to change our fate through reading. But there are always some brothers and sisters who study a few years less because of poor grades, or because their families are too poor and have to give up reading.
Your retirement is directly related to the books you read as a child.
In the extended family, who reads more books and uses more tuition is an unbalanced thing and will become the focus of contradictions.
One of my colleagues, Lao Zhang, has five brothers in the family, and he is the eldest. When he was a child, Xiao Zhang studied hard and was admitted to college, becoming the only college student in his family.
Now, the brothers and sisters all think that their parents were very fond of Lao Zhang and gave him all the money as tuition.
At a family gathering, the brothers demanded that Lao Zhang pay 50,000 yuan to complete the house in his hometown. Otherwise, everyone would not recognize him as a brother.
Lao Zhang asked someone to repair the house in his hometown, and it was logical that he would no longer have contact with several brothers.
In real life, there are really many reasons for brothers and sisters to turn over old accounts. From reading and employment to eating and dressing, it will not satisfy everyone.
In the workplace, there is a saying that "new officials do not pay attention to old accounts." It is not right to ignore the work of the past, but it is necessary to ignore the bad things of the past.
A quality old man knows how to forget, but he can't guarantee that his relatives can do this. Or less interaction, avoid turning over old accounts as well.
04
Retired people do not necessarily have a very good relationship with "relatives" such as sister-in-law, brother-in-law, brother-in-law, etc., and it is inevitable that they will listen to gossip and look at their faces.
The ancients said, "Brothers a piece of meat, concubines are knives." ”
A family, because the adults are married, seems to be more lively, which is a "brick and tile" happy event. However, sister-in-law, brother-in-law, etc. are not related by blood, and their lifestyles and ideological realms are not necessarily exactly the same as everyone's, and they will even become provocateurs of contradictions.
In "The Surprise of the First Shooting", it is written that a man named Liu Tianxiang lives in Bieliang City.
His older brother Liu Er died of illness in middle age, leaving his young nephew Liu An to live.
On the other hand, before Liu Er's death, an agreement was signed with Liu Tianxiang to clearly explain the distribution of family wealth.
After Liu An lived as an adult, he asked his uncle Liu Tianxiang for family wealth, but Liu Tianxiang's wife refused to admit it and hid the agreement.
Things between husband and wife are originally discussable, but there are always unreasonable people who always want to ask for things from the extended family, and even their faces can be put aside.
When you encounter selfish and dissension-provoking "outsiders", if you still bother, it will seem very boring.
05
Retired people often visit their relatives, and they will suffer "losses" in money and money, and they will not be clear.
When brothers and sisters get along, there is often such a situation: "You have money, you pay." ”
Having money seems to be an "original sin." The poor, on the other hand, are the ones who deserve to be cared for.
If it is an ordinary family, the retired elderly are relatively rich. If you often go to your brothers and sisters' homes, you will inevitably bring better gifts, give red envelopes to the younger generations, and all kinds of red and white happy events.
Brothers and sisters will also borrow money from you. People with conscience and honesty will repay the money in time, and people without conscience will not repay the money at all, and they still hate that you borrow too little money and do not know how to thank the big family.
As the saying goes: "Brothers do not share wealth, and sisters have less contact." ”
When money is involved, it will become a hard wound of feelings. Outsiders are not easy to intervene in. If you go through a lawsuit to ask for money, you will lose face and ruin your reputation. It is better to reduce the number of exchanges of courtesies.
06
There is a saying in the "Vegetable Root Tan": "In a state of heat and coldness, wealth is more than poverty; jealousy, flesh and bones are especially cruel to outsiders." ”
Human affection is cold and warm, and it is very prominent in the homes of rich and noble people; hatred and jealousy are very strong among brothers and sisters. If you can't deal with it calmly, many people will fall into a state of "constant troubles".
Deal with things cold, keep your distance when you meet people. This way of dealing with the world must be adhered to.
Don't think that when you retire and have nothing to do, you can go to visit relatives and friends every day.
Take a good pension, live a good little life, keep a small family, and live a good life.
Author: Cloth coarse food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The illustrations in this article come from the Internet.