Love flourishes only when it is free. The idea that love is some kind of obligation can only put love to death. In just one sentence: you should love someone, and that is enough to make you hate that person to the bone. --Russell
At the beginning of a love affair, it is as if two people are standing on a starting line at the same time, and a rope has tied one person's left leg to the other's right leg. This also makes it so that on this long road of love, if you want to move forward, you must have a consistent direction and a consistent pace.
If two people have different goals and directions, or if one person speeds up the pace halfway through and the other maintains the original rhythm, then they are considered to have reached the "end" of this road.
The realm of love is very small, and only two people can survive. Love is fragile, and it requires both of them to progress or sink together.
Lu Muzhen and Sun Yat-sen, the original couple, are gradually slowing down until they stop on the road of love because of the difference in the lives they pursue.
She knew that when love became an obligation and she became a bondage, no amount of demand could produce good results. So in the end, she gave way to Sun Yat-sen and Soong Ching-ling, and lived alone to 85 years old with her three children.
The fate of the parents, the words of the matchmaker
"I don't have enough common sense, I don't know English, I can't move my feet and I can't help Mr. Sir, may Mr. and I find good people... It's true that I love you, but I can't stop you from running to someone better than me. ”
When Lu Muzhen married Sun Yat-sen according to the orders of her parents and the words of a matchmaker, she probably did not think that she would say such a thing a few years later. At that time, she had to retreat even if she didn't retreat, and she had to be willing to be willing. The change of the times, the progress of thought, and the different pursuits made her finally willing to let go and give each of them a peace.
On July 30, 1867, Lu Muzhen was born in Xiangshan, Guangdong Province, in a family of scholars who had accumulated good deeds for generations. Her father, Lu Yaoxian, had a certain culture, and once traveled across the sea to Honolulu in the United States to make a living, where he met Sun Yat-sen's eldest brother Sun Mei and was also an overseas Chinese businessman. This also created an opportunity for the later marriage of Lu Muzhen and Sun Yat-sen.
Lu Muzhen is a typical traditional Chinese woman. She is loyal and virtuous by nature, especially good at female red. Although he has a medium appearance and does not know a few words, he has been diligent since he was a child and has a good reputation in the township because of his filial piety to his elders.
Lu Muzhen had a good life when she was a child, when the Lu family became rich because lu's father was in business in the United States. But later, with the death of Lu's father, the Lu family also fell in the middle of the road. Lu Muzhen was still young at that time, and he did not have the knowledge of his father to teach him around, so he followed the feudal thinking of the time and tied his feet with other girls.
When Lu Muzhen was 17 years old, she was led by Sun Mei, a good friend of Lu's father and the eldest brother of Sun Yat-sen, and married Sun Yat-sen, who was one year older than her. It was May 7, 1884.
At that time, Sun Yat-sen had already stayed in the West, was influenced by Western thought, and after returning to China, he always showed the idea of breaking the feudal dross, and the concept advocated by the society at that time was diametrically opposed to the concept advocated by the society at that time, which made the Sun family very worried about this child who was born "anti-bone", and wanted to keep him by finding a virtuous and virtuous wife for him, so that he could live a normal life in his hometown.
But what neither the Sun family nor Lu Muzhen knew was that the insight and ambition of the person Lu Muzhen married was doomed to see him step by step, whether it was Xiangshan or her.
Less than three months after the marriage, Sun Yat-sen bid farewell to Lu Muzhen and Sun's parents and left Xiangshan on the pretext of going to Hong Kong to continue his studies. Lu Muzhen received a traditional women's education since childhood, and was accustomed to three from four virtues. For her husband to go out to study and pursue a career, she supports rather than stops. In particular, since she was a child, she has seen her father go to the United States to do business, and other male elders have also gone out to make a living, which is even more commonplace.
What she gave Sun Yat-sen was a vast space, but what she gave herself was only the world of the back house. In the days when Sun Yat-sen was not in his hometown in Xiangshan, Lu Muzhen single-handedly supported the affairs of the family, and together with Sun Yat-sen's share, he showed his respect and filial piety to Sun Yat-sen's parents.
Water drops stone wear, husband and wife love
Sun Yat-sen was initially resistant to this marriage, because he had embraced advanced Western ideas and was not accustomed to some of the old habits of Chinese tradition. Naturally, I don't have much affection for this fiancée who has not received a modern education and has been entangled. Later, in order to reassure his parents and eldest brother, he agreed to the marriage and married Lu Muzhen.
After that, he left home less than three months to study abroad, which was both the need of his future career and his small resistance.
But later, as he traveled for a long time and could not rest, everything in Xiangshan's hometown depended on Lu Muzhen. In the short days of returning to his hometown, Sun Yat-sen felt more and more about Lu Muzhen's kindness and her dedication to the family. Without Lu Muzhen, he would still have to worry about his elderly and seriously ill parents outside, and he would not be able to go to the career as much as he is now.
Lu Muzhen's virtuousness, kindness, hard work, gentleness and filial piety touched Sun Yat-sen's heart step by step, and gradually won the attention and respect of this husband. The two began to look like husband and wife.
But Sun Yat-sen's return home was rare after all, although the two began to treat each other as husband and wife, and there was not much time to cultivate feelings. It was not until the seventh year after marriage that Lu Muzhen gave birth to Sun Yat-sen's first child, their eldest son. In the following years, he also gave birth to two daughters for Sun Yat-sen, Sun Jiao and Sun Wan.
The birth of a son and two daughters made their family begin to glow with new vitality, and Sun Yat-sen had no worries about his descendants, and he did not have to worry about the affairs of the back house when he was running around.
Drifting apart, we eventually broke up
Lu Muzhen was the unknown woman behind Sun Yat-sen's success, before the revolutionary uprising, she was willing to take on all the affairs of her hometown alone, and after the revolutionary uprising, she stepped forward and took her elderly in-laws and young children to escape the arrest and persecution of the Qing government.
At that time, when Sun Yat-sen fled with the revolutionary army because of the failure of the uprising in Guangzhou and had no time to take care of his hometown, Lu Muzhen, who had never been far away, as the only director of the old family at that time, resolutely made the decision to go to Honolulu in the United States and join Sun Yat-sen's brother Sun Mei.
I have to say that it was this decision that saved the lives of the Sun family. This traditional woman, at that moment, exploded with amazing boldness.
This is also an important reason why Sun Yat-sen is grateful to her. Later, Sun Yat-sen, who was busy fleeing, rushed to Honolulu to confirm their safety, and then set off with the revolutionary army to Japan.
The United States and Japan are far apart, and Lu Muzhen did not see Sun Yat-sen for a long time, and the two only learned about each other's lives and trivia through monthly letters. Even as Lu Muzhen continued to run the life of a family in the United States, Sun Yat-sen in Japan has continued to take faster and greater steps.
Especially after the outbreak of the Xinhai Revolution, Sun Yat-sen became the provisional president, and the distance between Lu Muzhen and Sun Yat-sen became difficult to cross. Being able to be with her husband is a good thing for Lu Muzhen, but as a woman in the feudal tradition, she cannot adapt to the glory after that.
For Sun Yat-sen, she gradually became a shackle on the road of marriage and an obstacle to the progress of her career. In Lu Muzhen's heart, he also slowly developed a premonition that the two would eventually separate.
Therefore, when Sun Yat-sen once again fled to Japan because of the failure of the revolution, Lu Muzhen proposed the decision to take a concubine for Sun Yat-sen. It was through such concessions that she intended to preserve her already unstable marriage. But Sun Yat-sen was annoyed and disgusted by this, and did not contact her for several months after going to Japan.
In fact, since 1891, Sun Yat-sen has been living with a female warrior named Chen Pufen. Chen Pufen was the one whom Lu Muzhen proposed to make Sun Yat-sen a concubine. But in the autumn of 1912, Sun Yat-sen broke up with Chen Pufen.
After Lu Muzhen was angered by Sun Yat-sen because of his affair with Chen Pufen, he did not receive a letter from Sun Yat-sen for a long time. But by this time Sun Yat-sen had already met his new secretary in Japan, Soong Ching Ling.
Both Sun Yat-sen and Soong Ching-ling were westernly educated and had a consistent indirection in many things, which made them more and more intimate. Sun Yat-sen gradually developed the idea of being with Soong Ching Ling. But Soong Ching Ling only wanted to be his wife, so Sun Yat-sen wrote a letter of resignation with a pen and handed it to Lu Muzhen.
Lu Muzhen hesitated for a moment and calmly accepted. She had already foreseen such an ending. Instead of demanding, it is better to let Go and give Sun Sun Yat-sen freedom. After all, she really can't afford to assume the responsibilities of a new era "first lady".
brief summary:
After divorcing Sun Yat-sen, Lu Muzhen did not hate Soong Ching-ling, but instead taught her children to maintain respect for her. Later, Lu Muzhen chose to stay away and went to Macau alone with her three children, where she settled.
Later, when the children grew up and left her because of their own pursuits, she did not complain, but encouraged them to be proactive. He lived alone to the age of 85 and died.