On the issue of marriage, some people think that marriage should be the right door, and no matter how much love can avoid this. Some people also retort: love is to fight for the body, the heart can be cherished, there is no need to pay attention to the door to the door. But if you really talk about the door to the door, it does not actually refer to only family conditions, but also includes the reciprocity of the three views of thought. If the three views are inconsistent, how can we go through a lifetime together? If the ideas are very different, how can we help each other?
In the era of the Republic of China, there were many people who paid attention to the door-to-door pair and arranged marriages, including the well-known father of the country, Sun Yat-sen.
Who was Sun Yat-sen? He is a great man known to everyone, the founder of the Republic of China, and a member of the crowd who accepts arranged marriages. But he is not an ordinary person, his life's ideals, a lifetime of career, a lifetime of ambitions are doomed to his extraordinary destiny. As his arranged wife, Lu Muzhen, he was doomed to have a stable home.
Before Sun Yat-sen became famous, the marriage between the two of them was right, but their three views were not equal. One is the traditional women of the old era, and the other is the progressive youth of the new era, who are doomed to find it difficult to get to the end.
Pictured| Sun Yat-sen and Soong Ching-ling
Flowing water has no heart to fall flowers
Outside the male protagonist and inside the female protagonist, the combination of the two of them is a portrayal of traditional marriage, but only she lives in the tradition and lives in the old era.
In 1884, Sun Yat-sen, under the arrangement of his family, married his fellow villager Lu Muzhen.
Lu Muzhen was born into a merchant family and has lived well since childhood. After the death of her father, she carried the whole family alone and lived with her mother. She understands things at a young age, works very diligently, is very good at female red, and her filial piety is famous in the township.
However, in Sun Yat-sen's eyes, Lu Muzhen was just a small-footed woman with an ordinary appearance. If you ask him if he wants to marry, his answer is yes or no. But born in that era, how could he say no no?
But I have to admit that Lu Muzhen is indeed an excellent xiannaisuke. Filial piety to the in-laws, running the housework, taking care of her husband, she is proficient in everything. Before the sun came out, Lu Muzhen had already gotten up to work; when the sun went down, she was still busy with the family's affairs. In the eyes of the Sun family, this daughter-in-law is really good.
It is said that when Lu Muzhen first entered the door, Sun Yat-sen's eldest brother Sun Mei gave her a gold necklace and two gold rings studded with sapphires as a wedding gift. This precious gift is enough to see how much Lu Muzhen weighs in the Sun family, but in Sun Yat-sen's heart, she is just the wife arranged by the family, and his feelings for her are only respectful, nothing else.
On October 20, 1891, Lu Muzhen and Sun Yat-sen's son Sun Ke was born, but Sun Yat-sen did not wait by her side. Even when sun wan, the third daughter who was born on the same day of the same month as him, was about to give birth, Sun Yat-sen was still in a foreign country, which made Lu Muzhen, who was about to give birth, worry.
In 1888, Sun Yat-sen's father was seriously ill in bed, and Lu Muzhen went dark early in the morning and boiled soup for the old man until his death. In this regard, the Sun family brothers are very grateful to Lu Muzhen. Unfortunately, no matter how virtuous and filial Lu Muzhen was, he still could not bind Sun Yat-sen's heart.
In Sun Yat-sen's world, Lu Muzhen could not go in, and she could only accept the separation of husband and wife again and again.
Figure | Lu Muzhen - virtuous and dignified
It's deep affection
In 1895, Sun Yat-sen launched the first anti-Qing armed uprising in Guangzhou, and due to improper planning and poor preparations, the uprising failed, and he was wanted by the Qing government and also involved a family. In order to take refuge, Lu Muzhen had to flee elsewhere with her 4-year-old Sun Ke, her 1-year-old daughter Sun Jiao, and her mother-in-law and aunt.
Without Sun Yat-sen by his side, Lu Muzhen could only work alone for the livelihood of his family. She is a weak woman, and she has to take care of her children, and she has to serve her mother-in-law and take care of her aunt, and her life is really not easy. But even so, Lu Muzhen never complained about Sun Yat-sen, on the contrary, she not only trusted Sun Yat-sen, but also worried about him. For Lu Muzhen, Sun Yat-sen fled because he was doing great things, and once his mission was completed, the two could live a stable life.
However, this is only her own idea, not a fact. Sun Yat-sen, whom she feared, was still running for the revolutionary cause at that time, and although his life was difficult, he was not alone. In addition to his companions with common aspirations, he also had the company of Chen Pufen, a confidant with a red face.
Chen Pufen was Sun Yat-sen's right-hand man and hongyan companion, and the two said everything. In this regard, Lu Muzhen was also aware of this, and she was very open to the fact that Sun Yat-sen had heartless people, and she did not care, and even encouraged Sun Yat-sen to take concubines. In Lu Muzhen's heart, it is normal for a man to have three wives and four concubines, and she is an old-fashioned woman who is very supportive of her husband's concubine.
However, because Chen Pufen had tuberculosis, she chose to leave for fear of infecting Sun Yat-sen. However, after Chen Pufen recovered from her illness, both Lu Muzhen and the Sun family admitted that she was a concubine of the Sun family, and although Chen Pufen did not live with Sun Yat-sen anymore, Lu Muzhen still recognized her as a concubine, regarded her as his sister, and let her live in the Sun family.
Perhaps, in Lu Muzhen's mind, it doesn't matter whether Sun Yat-sen loves her or not, or whether he takes a concubine, as long as she loves him.
Pictured| Chen Pufen (left) and Lu Muzhen
The tear stains are red and the fish is soaked
He was never a thing in the pool, and she was not a man of ambition. "Yan Que An Zhi Hong Hu Zhi Zhao", Lu Muzhen can be said to be the "Yan Que", but it is not exactly. After all, Lu Muzhen knew Sun Yat-sen's feats and knew his ambitions, but she didn't have the same lofty ambitions. She does not want to be in the limelight, nor does she expect to be a dazzling figure, she just wants to have a stable home.
But in this life, Lu Muzhen, who married Sun Yat-sen, could not realize this wish.
In 1911, the Xinhai Revolution broke out, and Sun Yat-sen was subsequently elected as the Provisional President of the Republic of China, and Lu Muzhen was known as the Mother of the Republic of China. On the way to Nanjing with the children, Lu Muzhen was admired by the personnel of various organizations, and the members of the League were also warmly welcoming her, and the scene could be said to be spectacular.
However, Lu Muzhen, who was not interested in fame and fortune, did not feel that this was a matter of face, and she wanted Sun Yat-sen's greeting more than being held respectfully.
In 1913, Sun Yat-sen went to Japan to investigate the status of the railway, and Lu Muzhen, as his wife, had to go with him. In Japan, Sun Yat-sen is a prominent figure, everyone knows, as the "first lady" Lu Muzhen is also shrouded in aura. It is said that at that time, Japan's Osaka Mainichi Shimbun also published an article dedicated to the grand situation after Lu Muzhen arrived in Japan.
From the perspective of ordinary people, Lu Muzhen has an extraordinary husband, because of Sun Yat-sen, she undoubtedly lives in the highest honor, which many people cannot envy. But Lu Muzhen didn't think so, she never thought she would have such a beautiful day. After watching her husband's career grow stronger and his status more noble, she found that she could no longer follow him. She was neither a progressive intellectual nor a radical revolutionary; she was just a typical woman who could not keep up with Sun Yat-sen's pace or help him in any cause.
Therefore, after living with Sun Yat-sen for more than 20 days, Lu Muzhen left both daughters with him and returned to his hometown alone. She let go, let Sun Yat-sen a freedom, not the freedom of the human body, but the emotional marriage. Lu Muzhen always agreed that Sun Yat-sen would find another companion and find an excellent woman who would help her career, and she allowed Sun Yat-sen to take concubines from beginning to end.
However, Sun Yat-sen was resolutely opposed to concubines, and he understood Lu Muzhen's intentions, but he could not accept it. If in the future he really met someone who he saw the right eye and was very helpful to himself, Sun Yat-sen would divorce Lu Muzhen instead of taking a concubine, because he advocated equality between men and women and monogamy.
Just in time, Sun Yat-sen met such a person.
Pictured| Song Qingling
A thousand pounds
In 1915, Sun Yat-sen met the love of his life in Japan, Soong Ching-ling, and the two had common revolutionary goals and common ideological visions. It is precisely because of falling in love with Soong Ching-ling that Sun Yat-sen has the idea of divorce, not to mention that Soong Ching-ling wants fame, and he himself does not allow polygamy.
Therefore, Sun Yat-sen wrote a letter to Lu Muzhen, who was far away in Macau, asking for a divorce, and explained the reasons why he had to divorce: First, he and Soong Ching-ling were both Christians and monogamous; second, Soong Ching-ling was a very good revolutionary partner and could help himself.
These two reasons are sufficient. After Lu Muzhen saw the divorce letter, she was so sad that she didn't know what to do, she was an old woman, and her feudal consciousness had long been burned in her bones. In her opinion, being suspended by her husband is a very humiliating thing, not to mention that she is reluctant to go to the street in the future, and she will fall into the hands of others.
But no matter how much Lu Muzhen was heartbroken, no matter how much she couldn't understand why Soong Ching Ling must have asked for a divorce, why Sun Yat-sen didn't accept concubines, she couldn't disagree.
As a traditional woman with virtue, she tried to convince herself: "I can't stop him from running to someone better than me, can I?" "Just as she often complained about her own inadequacies,
"I don't have enough common sense and don't know English"
"Foot-binding and inconvenient"
"Couldn't help sir"
Finally, she decided, "May Mr. and I find a good person."
Therefore, a "can" word is Lu Muzhen's reply.
Pictured | family portrait of Sun Yat-sen and Lu Muzhen (front row, second from left).
31 years of marital friendship, so to the end. Lu Muzhen's "can" word was written after enduring great heartache, and she was willing to make concessions for the ideal of Sun Yat-sen. In the face of the world's questioning of the reason for Sun Yat-sen's divorce, she also made a special voice: "Mr. Sun ran overseas for the revolution, wandered everywhere, and was physically and mentally exhausted, since the existing people are willing to take care of his life, I am willing to fulfill the best and divorce Mr. Sun." ”
It was not until three years after the divorce that Sun Yat-sen explained the divorce:
"My original wife didn't like to go out, so she didn't spend time with me abroad during my exile. She needed to settle with my old mother and always persuaded me to marry another side chamber according to old Chinese customs. But the woman I love is reluctant to accept such a position, and I can't do without her. In this way, there is no other way but to divorce my ex-wife by agreement. ”
In September 1915, Lu Muzhen once again went to Japan to discuss divorce with Sun Yat-sen.
In fact, Sun Yat-sen was still very affectionate to Lu Muzhen, and he felt that he had hurt Lu Muzhen, after all, since she entered the Sun family's door, she had always been very good in front of the Sun family's daughter-in-law. Therefore, Sun Yat-sen, who had a guilty heart, gave Lu Muzhen three conditions:
First, you will always be a member of the Sun family;
Second, Sun Ke will always be your son;
3. Convert to Christianity after returning to one's hometown.
In this way, Sun Yat-sen was free, and Lu Muzhen could only return to his hometown to continue to live his own life, taking care of his children while thinking about Sun Yat-sen. This kind of life is actually the same as not divorced, the only difference is that she can no longer interfere in Sun Yat-sen's life, can no longer send letters to him in the name of his wife, and can only read the newspaper to find his news.
On October 25, 1915, Sun Yat-sen married Soong Ching Ling in Tokyo, Japan. Since then, Lu Muzhen is no longer Sun Yat-sen's wife.
Pictured | Lu Muzhen
Divorce does not leave home
"Away from hate is just like spring grass, and farther away from life." Legally, Sun Yat-sen and Lu Muzhen have no relationship, but morally and emotionally, the two of them are not old and dead.
After the divorce, Sun Yat-sen is still very concerned about Lu Muzhen's life, after all, more than thirty years of love are there, it is impossible to really part ways, and he will send some money to Lu Muzhen from time to time to relieve his worries about life. And Lu Muzhen, because she participated in many good deeds in the township, sometimes when she ran out of money, she would write to Sun Yat-sen to talk about it. And the title on the letter after the divorce of the two is not seen, she is "Ke Mu", and he is "Ke Father", they are still a family.
As for Song Qingling, he and Lu Muzhen are already called sisters, and the relationship between the two is very harmonious. When Sun Yat-sen visited Lu Muzhen, the two of them would live together and take pictures together. In addition, Lu Muzhen also warned Sun Ke to respect Song Qingling. From this, it can be seen that Lu Muzhen really regards Song Qingling as a relative.
On March 12, 1925, Sun Yat-sen died of illness in Beijing. Lu Muzhen was so saddened by this bad news that he entrusted people to publish a memorial article and praised Sun Yat-sen for having "great spirit and great personality".
After all, she still admired her former husband.
In 1949, after the founding of New China, Lu Muzhen finally lived the life of her dreams under the care of Sun Ke, stable, plain, but very happy. Later, Lu Muzhen also took Sun Yat-sen's fourth sister Sun Qian to her side, and the two lived together and spent their old age together.
She still thinks of the Sun family, and the Sun family has always respected her as a daughter-in-law.
In 1952, Lu Muzhen died at the age of 85.
Picture | After the death of Sun Yat-sen, Lu Muzhen took a group photo with his son Sun Ke, daughter Sun Wan and grandchildren in Macao.
Looking at Lu Muzhen's life, although there have been no big winds and waves, it is not ordinary. She was both lucky and unlucky. As a person of the old times, she did not achieve true happiness, and she was still lonely for the rest of her life. But she is happy, whether she is divorced from Sun Yat-sen or not, in this world, she still has a harbor, a home, and relatives who miss her.
The image reference comes from the network