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A few days ago, a new drama began:
Starring Xun Ge'er (Zhou Xun) and Chef Huang (Huang Lei), the name is "Xiao Min Jia".
▲ TV series "Little Minjia"
Just looking at the poster, it is not difficult to guess that this story must be inseparable from these two families.
Sure enough, one of the hot search topics triggered by this new drama is:
▲ Hot search
In the current atmosphere of public opinion, the "original family" has gradually been given a negative image.
However, just like this line in "Little Min's House":
Children who grow up in the same situation in their original families can also lead to completely different results.
This may be related to the deep ideas behind each family, hidden in the minds of generations of people - that is, what we often call "family style".
And Su Dongpo's achievements are also inseparable from his family style.
Poke the video focus on the video number: Yi Gongzi
#意公子连更100期 "National Treasure is Very Dramatic"
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First, let's talk about the characters:
Great-grandfather Su Gao (phonetic same draft), grandfather Su Xu, father Su Xun, son Su Shi (Su Dongpo).
Great-grandfather Su Gao was the most influential member of the Meishan Su family.
The so-called influence is not because they are officials, nor because they have rich wealth, these are not, they are just an ordinary middle-class family. The reason why they have great influence is because of their indifferent, open-minded, charitable family style, which is praised by the villagers.
Su Gao gave birth to nine sons, but only one survived in the end, that is, Su Dongpo's grandfather Su Xu.
▲ Su Order
When Su Gao was dying, his wife asked him, "We orphans and widows, don't you entrust your children to your brothers?"
Su Gao said: "If the child is out, even if it is not my brother, he will be close to him; if he does not appear, even my brother will leave him alone." ”
This character of Su Gao continued to his son Su Xu, who was Su Dongpo's grandfather.
Su Xu is born an optimistic person. After all, the nine brothers had lived him, and it would be nice to be able to save his life.
Optimistic people are usually simple and transparent. Su Xun's impression of the old man is:
Simple personality, no shelf, make friends no matter how expensive.
Sex is simple, there is no prestige, thinner than for oneself and thicker than for others, and friends with others, no nobles and lowly people are happy. Seeing the scholar and the doctor bending down and respecting, people think it is a curse, and so do they see The Father of Tian Ye, and then people do not think it is strange.
——Su Xun, "Genealogy After Recording Part II"
Equanimity, these are the three most important words in Su Dongpo's family style.
It's easy not to look at these three words, but it's hard to do.
Think about it, when a person who everyone thinks is an authority appears, can we maintain an inner sense of equanimity?
When we see people who are more miserable than our lives appear, and we want to save them, we say, "I want to help you, I am a helper." Is that equanimity still there?
But I think Mr. Su did a great job of that.
Let's start with how he maintains equanimity for those who are inferior to him.
He once sold some fields to help some poor people who were starving, and notice that they were sold, not given away.
When the grain was harvested, the people took back the grain and money to return to him, but he said, "I sell them for my own reasons, not because of yours." Then it refuses.
The fierce year tastes its fields to help the hungry. If it is abundant, the man will pay it back, saying: "I have my own mane, not Er." "The pawn refuses to accept it.
In fact, sometimes, the role of the rescuer is very wrong, you rescue me, in essence, I will naturally feel that I am a victim, to be helped, you rescue me in a sense is to deepen the "you are high, I am low", "we are not equal" this concept.
But these two actions of Old Master Su actually pull people back to the role of equality.
▲ Equal relationship
It's not easy.
And he was equal to his son.
When we read the Three Character Sutra before, there was this sentence:
"Su Laoquan, twenty-seven, began to be angry, reading books."
- The Three Character Sutra
Who? He is Su Dongpo's father and the youngest son of Su Xu's grandfather, Su Xun.
▲ Su Xun
When Su Xun was a child, he didn't read well, he was simply a wasted young man. When he was 18 years old, he married the daughter of the richest man in the local area, and they all started a family, or they were not good at studying, their children were born, they were not good at reading, their mothers were hung up, or they were not good at reading.
And the three sons of the Su family, the second eldest are all officials, if it is an ordinary family, it will definitely be compared every day, you look at your brother, and then look at you!
But Mr. Su didn't.
No one else could see it anymore, so they kept telling the old man about it. You see what the old man said: Is Wu'er a person who still needs to worry about not learning?
However, Shizhi's ancestors did not learn alone when they were young, and they were already strong, and they still did not know books. The public did not try to ask. Or do you think that the words are not answered, and for a long time, you know: "Should my children worry about not learning from them?" Moreover, the fruit is angry and self-righteous, and the death is revealed to the world.
——Su Shi's "Su Ting's Commentary"
What a great trust! How much equality must be, in order to let go of the expectations of the child, do not interfere, do not evaluate, give him such a huge space to grow!
Sure enough, Su Xun then rose up to study, and also taught his two sons Su Shi and Su Rui to read, and the last three became the only family members of the Tang and Song Dynasties.
I think this kind of personality is passed down from generation to generation in the bones of the Su family, simple, open-minded, and equanimistic.
There is a big background behind these personalities, that is, love.
Later we talk about Su Dongpo's original family, you will find that his life was raised in a very loving environment, so he has no sense of lack, you think, people who have a sense of lack of love can give love completely? No, it won't.
If there is a lack of love, there will be an implicit begging behind the love you give:
I love you because I want you to love me too.
But the person who really has no lack of love in his heart, his love is naturally overflowing, not asking for return, so there can be such an equanimity: I do not flatter authority, I do not ask for my help people will come to appreciate me, I do not even want them to know that I am helping them.
▲ Su Dongpo and friends
It is also because I have no sense of deprivation, so I can settle down and meet the present, and the excess money will be given to those who need it, and the excess land will be distributed to those who need it.
So when I saw how Su Dongpo's ancestors behaved as human beings, and when I looked at Su Dongpo again, I really had a very strong feeling: Gao Zu Jide had this son.
▲ Su Dongpo
This is no longer just the original family, it is even several generations, and it is even something implanted in the blood. It's a family style, a quality that has been led by example by their ancestors, and they have lived out.
These qualities are silently passed down from generation to generation, and in the end, all people will feel extremely honored because of the blood flowing on their bodies.