Anyone who has read my article probably knows that I like to watch movies, but rarely watch TV series. But in the past few years, I will pick a big fire Japanese drama in my spare time. First, the length of about 11 episodes of Japanese dramas will not let the drama drag its tail after the holiday; second, I also want to change the theme and find some new feelings. So I choose the theme of the TV series can be sweet and salty, and I am not bound.
2016's "5 to 9: The Handsome Monk Falls in Love with Me" made me lament that Japanese monks and English teachers can also love sweetly;
2017's "Day face: Lovers at 3 p.m. on weekdays" filmed the derailment to a height that made me marvel;
2018's "Unnatural Death" song "Lemon" made me start a 24-hour brainwashing loop;
2019's "I Am Big Brother" let me see the YanYi Big Coffee Show of the Bad Secondary Sand Sculpture Drama;
2020's Home on the Ramp introduces the most important job in the world – parenting;
And in 2021 I chose this "New Life of Kai"! A play about "Reading the Air". (PS: There are resources on the B station, that is, members are needed.) ）
Reading air? It doesn't matter if you don't understand, please look at the following three scenarios:
When the end of the work point arrives, the colleague is unconscious, do you close the stall and leave after completing the work or are forced to work overtime?
Colleagues posted his children's paintings to the WeChat group, and everyone praised them, only you think they are ugly, are you frank and outspoken or echoed by the crowd?
The team has dinner, the leader calls you to participate, but you are exhausted and just want to stay at home, do you refuse or gladly go?
If your choices are all the latter, then congratulations you have understood the social game of "reading air". "Reading air" is a unique expression in Japanese, which simply means "to observe the color of speech". In the culture of implicit forbearance unique to the East, there has always been a subtle and euphemistic way of communicating, avoiding conflict and dissenting almost always relying on the identification of "air".
"Kai's New Life" tells such a story. Oshima Kai, a low-pressure social animal, was crushed and instigated in the company. Until a sudden collapse one day, the "older" young and fresh young woman fell into the trough of loveless unemployment and lost ground in life. Finally, he woke up and began to leave the four walls of his home, and after passing through the reclusive world of "separating mountains and waters", he embarked on a new road.
It is still a familiar Japanese drama recipe, relying on the resonance of emotional details rather than the twist of the plot. The plight of the characters in the play condenses the normalcy of most people in reality, and not challenging the collective, not deviating from the value of the group, and thus going with the flow is a compulsory course for the survival of contemporary social animals.
Whenever I see the drama, while catering to the people around me, I hate myself like this, and even identify with the disgust of others. I can't help but think of Osamu Dazai's famous saying that I am sorry to be human.
But the harmony of kneeling and licking, the favor of catering, such a relationship is doomed to deformity - how low you put yourself, others will only trample on your humility. Eventually, after awakening, he cried out loudly that the air was for breathing, not for reading. But in reality, most people are still ordinary people after all, unable to become beasts that break free from barriers, and it is difficult to use tenacious individual will to fight against collective ideas. Knowing that always pandering to the collective will often means the beginning of "depravity", but one can only be soberly depraved.
This is where Kai's anxiety stems. We always have a false belief: when I have something inferior to others, I am inferior to others, or I am not worthy of friendship, love, affection, and so on. But in my opinion, observing color is the lowest way of social survival. Those who don't take the risk and pay only the lowest level of social costs. Picking up the balls thrown by others gives up the initiative, waiting for others to save is better than self-help, and even using others' evaluations to build up oneself. This is inherently problematic, and socializing is a drain.
Blaming friends, blaming companies, blaming society, and being in a safe corner is easy and simple. But in fact, it is just a change of place, waste, and encouragement. Life is not a place to insert a SIM card can be reset, there is no bottom and fulcrum in the heart, even if you escape to a different dimension, you are still the same you. Therefore, even if she goes to work in the bar afterwards, she still cannot communicate with customers normally. The bar owner pointedly pointed out: "You are not interested in others." “
Shaping your own shape with the expectations of others will naturally distort, complain, and suffocate. Maintaining a moderate degree of selfishness, directness, and maverick is to maintain the balance of self,
In adult life, there is no easy word. The city is a steel forest, cold and hard. We need to burn a suit of armor for ourselves with a fallen scar, even if the first second, the fatigue has accumulated to the extreme, and we feel that we can't hold on; but the next second, we have to wipe away the tears and smile, as if nothing has happened. To fight against the emptiness of life itself and the whirlpool of society, it is indispensable to be self-congratulatory for a while, but it is still necessary to know the position of your own small solemnity.
When people live a lifetime, they first out of survival, then out of curiosity, and finally out of truth-
If life has reached a difficult juncture, it may be time to stop, but it is not only to see the scenery, but also to consider going to Wu Cunjing. Use limited energy to manage limited edition relationships. In that pure land, we can be like a small sponge, the heart does not need to be locked, the plain face can face the sky, and the explosive head does not need to be straight.
Tell the surroundings out loud – coming to my world requires a ticket, I have principles and bottom lines, inner poetry and distance.
But outside of this world, we must also understand that it is really tiring to observe and observe, and no one can be 100% of themselves, just as there is no absolute freedom in the world. But social networking also has rules, what to say on what occasions, what to see what people to accompany what smiling faces, this kind of tacit can make society operate efficiently.
If you want to cry, you can laugh, you can laugh when you want, you can shake your face when you want, and that only happens in the small world of late at night. The next day we put on our suits and masks to meet people. While it is true that it is tiring, it is still necessary to respect the rules of the game.
In the adult world, who didn't become a grandson here and became a grandfather there? Many people feel that saying good things is equivalent to slapping the horse's ass, and the left and right sources are equal to hypocrisy, and they are dismissive of this, as if being yourself is the most remarkable.
But the role of the adult is not a single, in the customer is the B side of the person, in the parents is the child who returns the favor, in the child is the responsible parent, these roles should be different, if you feel that this is hypocrisy, it is not yet grown. Imagine, isn't it childish to treat everyone with an attitude towards parents?
Man cannot leave society, just as he cannot leave the air. When watching "The Moon and Sixpence", I couldn't help but be disgusted, understanding and envious of Strickland, although the moon longed for it, but the sixpence under the feet was the most practical.
Isn't there a misunderstanding about the air of reading and the wear of a mask?
In the process of dealing with people, be clear about your position. This is neither easy to go with the flow, nor does it appear to be unruly. Socializing is social, just playing a role in a way that everyone can accept, and it has nothing to do with personality and preferences. In the vast sea of people, it is normal for us to lose ourselves. At this time, do not sink, thinking that a corner of peace can be perfect.
As everyone knows, the strongest sardines do not swim against the current, but even if they follow the school of fish, they can swim out of their own posture.