I was in a "cognitive" war with my mother-in-law

The story of the eighteen-line village on the high slope of the Loess Plateau, the contradiction between me and my mother-in-law because of the concept of disagreement.

My mother-in-law is a very traditional rural housewife who has devoted her life to serving the family and children.

The first contradiction between me and my mother-in-law is that stinginess is also called frugality, although frugality is a fine tradition of the Chinese nation, but excessive frugality I really can't accept.

Watermelon incident, watermelon five dollars a pound in the spring is not cheap, one day shopping my son very much want to eat, I bought one, cut watermelon is not good, after all, is the stock of melon. I cut it at noon for everyone in the family to eat together, my in-laws did not eat, I thought that people did not like to eat, in the afternoon I distributed watermelon to the children at the door to eat. Things are simple.

In the afternoon, as soon as my mother-in-law entered the door, she said that I really had money. An irony, I was really confused by this, I was thinking about what I had done. The second sentence is to ask me why I gave such expensive watermelon to others to eat. How expensive the fruit can be, this is not a sky-high price. The third sentence does not know to ask her whether she eats with her father-in-law. Filial piety to the old man, didn't you ask at noon, cut well, you have not eaten, how do I ask? I tried to refute why I said delusional, because people did not agree with the explanation, I explained that no one ate it, watermelon in the refrigerator for one night is not good, I gave it to the children to eat. My mother-in-law ignored me, leaving me messy in the wind and dealing with cold violence, which was difficult for me to accept that you did not speak or listen to explanations, and the problem was shelved. In fact, the node of the problem is that my mother-in-law feels too expensive, and I am not willing to eat, so I will give it away.

It's normal for neighbors to have a good meal to give away, especially for children, and I can't watch my kids eat other people's kids. But after getting along for a long time, you will find that this kind of cognition is wrong in their eyes, and you can't imagine and understand the calculations of the villagers, but everything that you pay for, even if it is cheap, cannot be given to others, and children cannot.

In my mother-in-law, I just have money to burn, take things cheaply for others. In the mouth of the neighbor's wife, I have money to burn, buy things for others to eat losers, even for her little grandson, that is also my loser. After eating something, I also went to my mother-in-law to complain, and bitterly advised my mother-in-law to take care of me and not to be too defeated. My educational cognition makes it impossible for me to spit out the fragrance.

Of course, this is caused by the times, and I can understand that they experienced too much suffering in those years, and some things were carved into their bones and affected their lives. In today's era of no shortage of food and clothing, they still can't make changes. There is also a little bit of discord, this point is no way, there are always such people who can't see other people's good.

Where is the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, a big reason is cognition, we can't bring in their perceptions and thoughts, we haven't experienced those years, we are called the post-90s who soaked in the honeypot, it is difficult to empathize. They can't change us, and in our education for more than ten years, there is frugality but not harshness. Just like water and oil can not be integrated, everyone is not wrong in their own cognition, this contradiction will emerge from time to time in the years to come, from time to time there will be small and large development, and finally erupt. I often see the mother-in-law, the daughter-in-law, but there is no solution, who compromises with whom, the cognitive problem can not be solved.