Ms. Gu was beaten by her son, and the video said that she went to hold the child because she did not wash her hands, and later caused it from a verbal quarrel. From the traditional Chinese point of view, it is unimaginable for a son to beat his mother and scarred him. Ms. Gu is divorced, but did not leave home, she said it was to guard the house for her son. But he did not get his son's approval. Ms. Gu's son said, no matter which house, as long as it is my name, you want to go through the house or sell it, I will cooperate, the implication is that I do not want your money, nor do I want your house, that is, to break off the mother-child relationship with you. Ms. Gu, who was going to sue her son to the court, suddenly lost her anger and just murmured, why did he beat me, he was still so aggrieved.
This video does not say why such a thing happened, but there is a plot in it, and all of Ms. Gu's mother's family members run to Xingshi to ask for guilt. I think that when Ms. Gu divorced, it would probably be like this, and what it would be like for her ex-husband to divorce and not leave home in all these years. I think a child is trapped in an argumentative environment all day, and violence seems to be the only way he can fight fear.
There was once a boy who said that I couldn't control the grumpy emotions in my body, especially when I thought that the other party had failed me, I would be particularly irritable, and I would always be unable to control myself and use violence to solve the problem. I feel like it's a kind of hurt, and I need to use that way to stop the continuation of that hurt.
We have a lot of times in life emotional difficulty control, always feel that it should be "this thing" detonated my unhappiness, is "this thing" makes me panic, is "this person" makes me feel angry, in fact, a lot of uneasiness is from the back story, is the experience of the past has not been taken care of, the wounds formed are left in the body, become memory fragments, when the later once there is a problem, and by the memory of the awakening, will reshape the sadness, and ignite anger uncontrollably.
A little story is told in a psychology book: a little boy witnessed the 9/11 terrorist attacks and saw many people jumping off the building, and the father of the child, afraid that he would be frightened, took the child to the healing. The counselor asks the child to draw a picture of a building and some people jumping from the upper floors, as well as a box-spring bed. The counselor asked him why he had a box-spring bed, and the child said there was a bed to catch them. This is a kind of self-healing, that is, after the memory enters the brain system, it will rely on its own imagination to heal itself, and make a cruel picture perfect.
Not all people can effectively remove the memory in their own body, just like the boy who likes to solve things by force, it is obvious that his body remembers a lot of unsatisfactory things, such as his father's violence against him, he will be punched and kicked if he is not careful, and the whole childhood grows up in a state of fear, so when he encounters things that make him feel afraid, such as the betrayal or loss he thinks becomes part of his fear, then there will be fragments of childhood memories. In that instant it will be integrated, so violence will arise.
Many people's anger is due to fear, fear of past experiences, in order to eliminate this fear, they will want to use violence to break all this, this is post-traumatic stress disorder, easy to appear irritability and nervousness.
I don't know how Ms. Gu's son spent his childhood, and his parents' divorce could never be a pleasant one. And his mother's divorce does not leave home, and it is likely that in the later days it will still bring him endless quarrels. Ms. Gu has always believed that she is guarding this house for her son, so all her dissatisfaction must appear with the posture of "I am for you". We don't know how much pressure this child has carried that does not belong to him, but all of us can only see this phenomenon of hitting people.
Most people have some damaged fragments, but they do not often appear in the brain, but once the irritating consciousness appears, these fragments will be highlighted, and people will appear uncontrollable factors at that moment, resulting in injury.
We all need to find the point of our fear, to know exactly what caused us to have this trauma, and only by clearly finding the corresponding problem can there be a possibility of transformation. Like the boy who witnessed the whole process of 911, grief has already happened, and if it can't be changed, then change one way of thinking, at least to ensure that you don't continue to be hurt.
The term psychology is "healing" and Buddhism is called "practice." In fact, no matter which title it is, what is important is the healing of the self, because suffering can produce "reincarnation", and people can't help but fall into it. We often feel that something similar is always happening to us, that it is still painful to change a person, that we have changed a working environment, that we will still go to a similar environment. Always let yourself struggle with failure and loss, and no amount of effort can get what you expect. So seeing yourself and being able to be aware of your problems is the most important thing. Otherwise, this "reincarnation" will continue to evolve endlessly, making it difficult for people to get rid of it for a lifetime. Once we jump out of this circle and turn our heads to look at it, we will find that the pain that used to be there is nothing more than "this". So seeing your past is the only way to solve the present.