The marriage of Lu Xun and Hu Shi is the result of the mother's arrangement, why is the ending very different?
The May Fourth period was a transitional period of in-depth and profound transformation from traditional China to modern China, and the spiritual quality of the cultural giants in this period was characterized by learning from China and the West, corresponding to this feature that they inevitably left traces of traditional China, and at the same time, they were deeply branded with Western style. This is also inevitably manifested in their emotional and married lives. That is to say, they are an awakened generation, who know love, free love and the freedom of love, and who pursue love tirelessly, but before they can love, even when they are not yet adults, their traditional families have left them with "a tail" - a child bride or a wife of the original. This is true of Hu Shi, who studied in the West, and it is also true of Lu Xun, who studied in the East.
The marriage of Lu Xun and Hu Shi was the result of their mother's arrangement. Lu Xun and Hu Shi were both raised by widowed mothers. The difference is that when Lu Xun's father died, Lu Xun had reached the age when he could share the worries of the family, and moreover, he was the eldest son, so Lu Xun actually covered up many "strict" wind and frost swords for his mother; and Hu Shi, who was less than 4 years old when his father died, was the youngest son of the family. It is precisely because they were raised by widowed mothers that this objectively determines that they cannot resist their mothers, but can only accept the "mother's gift" and accept loveless marriages.
Lu Xun's marriage
Zhu An is 3 years older than Lu Xun, Jiang Dongxiu is 1 year older than Hu Shi, both women are older than men, this does not matter, the key is that although they all accepted the "mother's gift", they all faced loveless marriages all their lives. After accepting the "mother's gift", or unable to resist the mother's arrangement, Lu Xun and Hu Shi almost put forward the same hope, that is, they hoped that their future daughter-in-law could change, read a little book, and accept some new ideas and new things.
Lu Xun originally wanted to withdraw from this marriage, because his mother did not agree, and instead of seeking second, Lu Xun put forward two conditions, asking his mother to tell Juan: First, let go of the little foot; second, go to school. Perhaps Lu Xun felt that it was not difficult to do these two things, and asked Zhu An to put his feet down and study, but the other party did not do it, nor could he do it. Enough has been fixed, put it, what is the use? Without a basic education, without a foundation, how does Juan study?
In fact, Lu Xun and Zhu An are a nominal couple. On the other hand, the fact is that although they did not have a round house, they completed all the ceremonies of the wedding, so their marriage as a social contract was complete.
In August 1909, Lu Xun returned from Japan to teach at a teacher training institute in Hangzhou. In July of the following year, he returned to Shaoxing and served as the provost of Shaoxing Zhejiang Provincial No. 5 Middle School, later as a school supervisor, and later as the principal of Shaoxing Normal School. During this time, although Lu Xun was in Shaoxing, he lived in school and rarely returned home. During the day on Sundays, he sometimes went back, but mainly to visit his mother; occasionally on Saturday nights, he also went home all night to correct students' homework or read, copy books, and organize ancient books. Lu Xun deliberately did not have contact with Juan.
Later, when he received the news that Lu Xun and Xu Guangping were living together, Juan despaired. She said: "I am like a snail, climbing up from the bottom of the wall little by little, although it is slow, one day it will climb to the top of the wall." But now I can't do it, I don't have the strength to climb, and it's useless for me to treat him well. Because of the traditional moral constraints, Juan was dissatisfied, but there was no substantive action.
Zhu An was full of confidence in Lu Xun's character, she said: "It seems that I can only serve Niangniang (referring to Lu Xun's mother) alone in this life, in case Niangniang returns to the Western Heavens, from the perspective of Mr. Da's usual personality, he will manage my future life." Zhu An repeatedly told people before he died: "Mr. Zhou is not bad to me, and there is no quarrel between them." ”
Lu Xun was indeed as Juan said, and he had always provided for Juan. When Zhu An was unwell, Lu Xun always hired a rickshaw to accompany her to the hospital opened by foreigners for treatment, and helped her get on and off the bus, which made foreign doctors also very moved. Lu Xun was very kind to Zhu An's younger brother Zhu Keming, often sending him money and helping his son find a job. Every New Year's Festival, Zhu Keming will also give Lu Xun the local specialties of Shaoxing. After arriving in Shanghai, Lu Xun sent monthly living expenses to his mother and Juan, and Cha Lu Xun's diary on April 19, 1932: "In the afternoon, he sent a letter from Zi Pei, with a letter from his mother, and the Bank of China huiquan 200 yuan, for the family in May and June." According to this, Lu Xun gave his family in Beijing about 100 yuan per month for living expenses. According to Yu Fang's recollection, Lu Xun gave his mother pocket money of 20 yuan per month, and Ms. Juan's pocket money of 15 yuan.
From this, it can be seen that Lu Xun and Juan are on the one hand a loveless marriage, and on the other hand, they are willing to think about each other. Lu Xun respected Juan's personality, and Juan trusted Lu Xun's personality. Perhaps it is for this reason that this loveless and sexless marriage lasted for 30 years.
Hu Shi's marriage
Compared with Lu Xun, Hu Shi was luckier. Judging from the photos, Jiang Dongxiu is more beautiful than Juan, belonging to the kind that ordinary men can "make up"; Jiang Dongxiu has also read some books and can read newspapers, although the typos are full of paper, and the level seems to be on par with Lu Xun's mother, Lu Rui, unlike Zhu An, who can't read a basket of big characters.
When Hu Shi was 13 years old, he was under the control of his mother and became engaged to Gu Jiang Dongxiu, a foot-binding village —like Lu Xun, a "mother's gift"—and then Hu Shi studied in Shanghai, studied in the United States, and returned to his hometown at the age of 27 to complete the marriage. This is what the general public knows as "Dr. Hu Shi's Little Foot Wife" - one of the "Seven Wonders in the History of the Republic of China". After the engagement, Lu Xun had almost the same requirements for Juan, and Hu Shi also asked Jiang Dongxiu not to tie her feet and asked her to read more books. Jiang Dongxiu is more receptive to new things than Juan, and no matter what she does, she still does it.
Hu Shi was studying in the United States, and for a while, Hu Mu took Hu Shi's fiancée Jiang Dongxiu from her home, Jingde Jiang Village. Mother Hu wrote to Tell Hu Shi: "Ru Woman came here on the tenth day of the first month of this month, and all family affairs were still willing to pay attention to, enough to divide my shoulders, and Yu Xin was very happy. He also asked Hu Shi to write a letter to comfort his mother-in-law to reassure him. Hu Shi had never seen Jiang Dongxiu, but did he try his best to imagine her beauty? In this regard, he has a more positive mentality than Lu Xun.
Lu Xun never wrote a letter to Juan, but Hu Shi took the initiative to write to Jiang Dongxiu. Hu Shi wrote to Jiang Dongxiu for the first time, expressing his gratitude to Jiang Dongxiu for coming to Jixi's home to help. Hu Shi hoped that his fiancée would pay attention to improving her cultural level, afraid that she would only take care of housework and neglect to seek knowledge and self-motivation, affecting her future life, and at the same time expressing a kind of care and love.
For Hu Shi's request, Jiang Dongxiu was very attentive. On February 28 of the following year, when Jiang Dongxiu came to Hu Shi's house, he brought with him a girl named Laifa, aged 14, who was bought from Wuhu as a handmaiden to accompany the Hu family. The Jiang family's move may have been influenced by Hu Shi's letter: buy a handmaiden to do housework for Dongxiu, so that she can make time to read some books. After Hu Shi learned about this matter from his mother's letter, he was overwhelmed with emotion! Immediately replied to her mother, "Yue's gift of the concubine is particularly grateful, how can the child be thanked as a book?" ”
In August 1917, Hu Shi was hired as a professor at Peking University. He returned home to be reunited with his mother, who burst into tears of joy and kept saying, "Back!" All right! Mother Hu looked through the autumn water, and her son finally returned to his side. On December 30, he married Jiang Dongxiu at the Jixi family.
Although he was married, Hu Shi also fulfilled his wish to be filial to his mother, but after all, he and Jiang Dongxiu did not have a common language, and once proposed divorce, but Jiang Dongxiu's reaction was enough to make Hu Shi thrilled. One thing is very illustrative of Jiang Dongxiu's temperament. After arriving in Beijing, Liang Shiqiu wanted to divorce his good-natured wife. Jiang Dongxiu couldn't see it, so he helped Liang's wife. To the point of court litigation, Jiang Dongxiu was not afraid, personally went to court to defend Liang's wife, and finally made Liang Shiqiu lose the case, which caused a sensation in the whole capital at that time. Jiang Dongxiu is not as shy and timid as the average village woman, but such a trivial woman has a manly spirit. She is quite decisive and has a pungent ability to do things.
When Hu Shi and Cao Peisheng were in love, they did have the idea of divorce. However, Jiang Dongxiu was well aware of Hu Shi's weakness in cherishing his reputation, so he seized on this point and adopted a strategy of attacking rather than retreating, and instead of begging for pity, he made a big fuss, forcing Hu Shi to retreat step by step, forcing Hu Shi to break off relations with Cao Peisheng.
In his later years, Hu Shi summed up his experience of combining with Jiang Dongxiu for more than 40 years and finally not giving up with the mood of "coming over". He said: "I think love is a fluid liquid, full of plasticity, depending on whether people have the ability to build and build. People talk about love very thoroughly and then get married, but too thoroughly, it is at a glance, there is no article to do. It is likely that it is in danger of falling into a rupture due to boredom. I only started to fall in love after I got married, and my wife and I are always trying to love, so we can keep the family happy. ”
Xiaobian feels that Hu Shi and Jiang Dongxiu are not so much "harmonious" because of love as "harmonious music" because of family affection, after all, they have a common child. Many families in China can be peaceful and happy because of the family affection. Although Hu Shi and Jiang Dongxiu did not reach the realm of "a couple and a teacher and friend", after all, they supported each other through an extraordinary life.
Lu Xun's marriage is a tragedy from beginning to end, but Hu Shi can harvest a full marriage, compared with the two, we can feel 3 points:
The first is the attitude of the two people towards arranged marriages, although both choose the person they do not love because of filial piety, but Lu Xun has been avoiding, but Hu Shi chooses to improve the relationship.
The second is the attitude that Juan and Jiang Dongxiu showed in the face of the marriage crisis. Juan chose to accept calmly, while Jiang Dongxiu chose to fight and reaped a satisfactory return.
Third, children are a bond that sustains the family. Lu Xun and Zhu An have no children, while Hu Shi and Jiang Dongxiu have three children, which naturally has a different impact on the family.