Love includes three elements: intimacy, passion, and commitment

Among the many studies on the elements of love, the most important theoretical results are from The Psychologist Robert Sternberg of Yale University in the United States. He was a pioneer in this emerging field of research, and in 1986, Professor Sternberg proposed the famous love ternary, arguing that although human love is complex and changeable, it basically contains three main components, namely passion, intimacy and commitment, and Sternberg gives a clear interpretation of each component, and uses triangles to represent the structure of love. The three sides of the triangle represent the three components of love, and when the three are combined, they form a perfect love. This triangle pattern is one of the most remarkable theories of love to date, and it can well describe and explain the ever-changing forms of love in the world. The love triad, passionate intimacy, commitment, passion is a refreshing emotion that pushes lovers towards romance, it comes from human hormones, characterized by physiological impulses and strong desires of the flesh, passion is aroused, often due to people's desire for sex. Of course, it also includes wanting to get other strong psychological needs from the other party, or wanting to express warm emotions and emotions to the lover, passion is a physiological level of human reaction, plays a dynamic role in love, belongs to the motivation part, in many cases, the lovers who are stimulated by passion will show strong possessiveness, and may even develop to an almost selfish state of addiction, as we often see, in the early stage of love, couples will excessively possess each other, Even to the point of intolerable separation from each other, at this stage, any other relationship is not important to both parties, Sternberg explains, and lovers must first experience a growing physical attraction, but after this period of time, if hair. Developed well, their passion and joy will be transformed into mature love, before entering the intimate relationship, simple passion is often embodied as self-centered, intimate intimacy mainly includes enthusiasm, understanding, communication, honesty, support and sharing, etc., psychological phenomena are the emotional part of love, under the role of intimacy, two people become the best friend and the companion of the heart, willing to share inner secrets between each other, deeply eager for each other's closeness, And this intimate relationship can bring great strength and comfort to men and women in love, so that they have greater faith and motivation in love, to cultivate more brilliant love flowers, a true heart, looking forward to exchanging another true heart intimate relationship can promote the realization of this important exchange. On the contrary, if there is no intimate relationship between two people, the flower of love will wither or even dry up, the satisfaction in love has the most direct relationship with intimacy, the lack of intimacy is the number one killer of love and marriage, in the absence of intimacy, even if the two parties have a passion, or have lived together, can not understand each other deeply, can not really integrate together, so that people will still feel lonely and lonely, commitment, commitment is the cognitive part of love, including two meanings. One is to make a decision to devote yourself to an emotion, that is, to love a person, the second is to love and maintain this emotion, if the two parties in love have a commitment to each other, they will assume the responsibility and obligation of love, face the future that cannot be seen, unswervingly love each other, until the end of life, make an image analogy, promise is like an island in the turbulent river, no matter what kind of water is love or marriage, what kind of difficulties and tests are encountered, there is a safe haven. Countless successful examples have proved to us that long-term love and healthy marriages are based on mutual commitment, and people who treat love and hold commitments will definitely say, I love you because of who you are, and I don't love you because of your actions and my feelings. But if there is no commitment and responsibility, love will be fragile and powerless, overwhelmed, fully collapsed when hit, the former intimacy and passion will also disappear, the seven types of love, the three components of the love triad, passion, intimacy, and commitment together constitute the seven types of love, like love, only intimacy between two people, two people feel very comfortable together, but the lack of passion is not necessarily willing to stay together for life, there is no passion and commitment, such as friendship, obviously, friendship is not love, Liking is not equal to love, but one of them may still develop into love, although some people are lost because they are not connected. Infatuation is love, two people only have a passionate experience between them, think that they have a strong attraction to each other, in addition, do not know much about each other, do not think about the future, only passion, no intimacy and commitment, such as first love. The first love is always full of passion, but less mature and steady, is a kind of green love that is instinctively pulled and guided, like love at first sight. Empty love, there is only commitment between two people, lack of intimacy and passion, such as pure love for marriage, such love looks plump, but lacks the necessary content, gold and jade outside, defeated in it, creepy marriage, partner to live a life, romance is love, there is an intimate relationship and passion experience between two people, there is no commitment, this kind of love advocates the process, does not care about the result, this is actually a timely and happy view of love, lovers attach great importance to the feeling of the present, but the future, the partner is love, There is an intimate relationship and commitment between two people, lack of passion, similar to empty love, can love without passion still be called love? This refers to a bland marriage with only rights and obligations, but no passion, and such feelings may encounter seven. Seven years of itch, partners often have a hand holding you, like my left hand pulling right hand such a bland feeling, stupid love, only passion and commitment between two people, no intimate relationship, no intimate passion, just physical impulses, and no intimate commitments, but empty checks, when passion controls the brain, people may appear without thinking impulsive behavior, love at first sight flash marriage should be this type of it. Perfect love has three elements at the same time, including passion, commitment and intimacy, only in this kind of form, we can see the true face of love, in Sternberg's view, the six types listed above are only love or non-love, essentially not love, only the seventh is love, and the tears, love and non-love situations we encounter in real life are too much, so that the love with three elements at the same time as a surreal ideal state, Wu Love three factors are not available, passion, Intimacy and commitment together constitute love, and without any of these elements, it cannot be called love, just as the three points establish a plane, and without any one point, this only plane does not exist. Love is the eternal topic of human beings, and there are several people who can really harvest perfect love, it is precisely because of the continuous pursuit of beautiful things that we have the opportunity to obtain that precious gift, check your own state, which kind of love do you belong to? Love vane one, Yale University professor Robert Sternberg proposed the love triad gives a love offensive, perfect love is equal to intimacy plus passion plus commitment, second, passion is accompanied by strong physiological and psychological reactions relative to the other two elements are the most unstable, intimacy, and commitment is more rational, the decision is the most stable, the three elements are different, their different combinations also derive different love. They are liking love, obsessive love, hollow love, romantic love, companion love, stupid love, perfect love, and no obstacles. Three you can draw an ideal love triangle radar map with the lover, put together for comparison, the more overlapping the two triangles, indicating that your feelings are more harmonious, and when the triangles of the two sides deviate more, you need to see what issues the two sides have disagreed, find each other's differences, and communicate and adjust, the content of this talk is here, thank you for listening. The theme of the next lecture is Fromm, love is giving love is giving care, responsibility, respect and understanding.