"I don't like my dad, he's stubborn and doesn't like to communicate with people. He doesn't like to go out, and he likes to stay at home either by loving books or playing with his phone. I was in junior high school, and he hadn't been to a third city except his hometown and the city where he worked. He didn't like to go out himself, he didn't want me and my mother to go out, the family stayed at home doing their own things, and there was not much language communication. My mom was so boring to marry him, and I would never marry this kind of man when I grew up. "From the words of one of my visitors.
It is understood that the father's education of his daughter from an early age is more "not allowed" and "punished", not allowed to meet strangers, not allowed to run out alone; if the exam is not good, he will shout and punish the child with a penalty station or a penalty copy. When I was a child, I would often get the grains of rice on the ground when I ate, and I would be loudly reprimanded.
This dad belongs to the obsessive personality disorder, which has formed a stereotypical, stereotypical, and deliberate pursuit of perfection personality traits in his growth process from childhood to adulthood, which will cause social functional influences to a certain extent, but lack self-awareness.
Compulsive personality people want everything to remain as it is, afraid of change and disappearance, clinging to familiar things, they are not afraid of the boredom brought about by repetition, but they are afraid of change, because change means out of control, they need everything around them to be under their control.
Compulsive personality parenting is usually to educate children in a more primitive way, such as shouting, scolding, many times children are trouble, only reprimand can make children listen to their own words.
Forced personality to raise children, harsh discipline will make children become cautious, hesitant and try to restrain themselves, only if they become obedient will be free from parental accusations, gradually lose the courage to resist and their own ideas, in the long run will suppress the formation of children's self-will.
For example, a senior officer is very concerned about the performance of his son, requiring that everything in the family be carried out in accordance with the rules of the army, and must report to the father straight before eating and sleeping, not crying, not having his own emotional expression, and doing everything in accordance with the father's expectations.
Obviously it is too difficult to change the "compulsive personality", and we are not in favor of changing it, a person has formed a stable personality, unless there is a major change, it is difficult to be changed. After several of my communications, my clients chose to improve themselves, choose to forgive the negative side of different personalities by correctly understanding different personalities. Use your heart to perceive the repressed part of yourself and find a suitable channel for release. Of course, if the compulsive personality situation is serious, it is necessary to seek professional psychological medical help.
Finally do a small test, do you/the people around you have "compulsive personality"? Did you win the following?
(1) Treating a partner or child as their property and controlling them to do as they wish;
(2) Compare yourself to other parents or partners and feel that you are not good enough. Blame yourself when your child fails, criticize your child more than praise;
(3) Promote children to realize their dreams and believe that their value depends on their children's achievements;
(4) Paying too much attention to the child's test results or competition results, thinking that the test is not good or the game is lost because of lack of effort;
(5) Often because of high expectations, emotions can not be calmed;
(6) Often use harsh language to hurt their families, and sometimes verbal violence;
(7) Never be willing to abandon worn-out or worthless objects, even if they have no emotional value.