01.
Many times, we are often attached to what we don't get, and often don't know how to cherish what we already have.
Unfortunately, "the flow waves will go to the moon, and the tide will bring the stars." The mind can turn around, but time can't turn back. Those injuries in marriage will eventually form wounds, and even if the scabs are healed, they still cannot be completely erased.
One of my readers, Mr. Liu, is the best example. He had been married for over a decade and had just been divorced some time ago. The reason for the divorce is because he has an extramarital relationship.
And now, no matter how much he keeps it, his wife will not turn back, he regrets it very much, but everything will not help.
In marriage, there are some principled problems, and if you do it wrong once, you will no longer have the opportunity to make up for it. If he had understood these truths at that time, he would not have made a big mistake.
02.
He told me that after the divorce he finally understood why so many people have extramarital love, in his experience, between husband and wife, if you can't do these three things, extramarital love is only a matter of time.
One: Couples who do not have a "reverence" for marriage
Mr. Liu told me that when they got married, the two people didn't really have much affection. It was just the parents matching, and then the two also felt suitable, so they were together. Compared with those couples who are united because of love, they can only be regarded as partners to live a life.
Therefore, they do not see marriage as sacred, and there is no so-called reverence.
Because of the lack of emotional foundation, when they first got married, they would easily argue over trivial matters and did not know how to understand and tolerate each other. With the passage of time and the slow running-in between the two, this situation has improved.
But they still have no reverence for marriage, and they do not feel that they must be responsible for each other when they are married, which indirectly condones Mr. Liu's wrong behavior.
Two: Couples who are not firm enough in their love for each other
Although at the beginning, there was not much love between Mr. Liu and his wife, but over the years, they were also accustomed to each other's existence.
Mr. Liu can say that he is the person who understands his wife the most, and his wife is also the person who understands him the most.
However, affection does not mean love.
After marriage, many couples do not have the original state of love, and those so-called women who marry love have slowly accepted the fact that chai rice oil and salt.
But in fact, marriage without love is very fragile, and the power of love, even family affection, cannot be replaced. Why many couples still often live in the world of two people after marriage is to maintain the initial enthusiasm between two people.
If there is no firm love, what will we do to face the ups and downs of the world? And without the nourishment of love, it is easy to lead to a marriage that looks like a god, and in the end it is inevitable that one party will have extramarital love.
Therefore, even after marriage, it cannot extinguish the flame of love between you, and marriage should be the sublimation of love, not the end.
Three: Couples who are not responsible enough for the family
Mr. Liu is a more playful person, even if he is not young, but he still often goes in and out of various entertainment venues. On the one hand, it is for socializing, on the other hand, it can also relieve the pressure of their own work.
Men are always different from women, and once a woman is married, no matter what she was before, she will generally return to the family after that. And men often don't change for marriage.
Therefore, in fact, Mr. Liu's wife has not had an easy life in these years, and many things in the family are handled by her, and Mr. Liu only knows how to spend days and drinks outside.
When a man is not involved in the affairs of the family, he will become more and more irresponsible in the family. Maybe at first, I just went home later, and then I simply didn't return at night.
Therefore, before getting married, a woman must examine the man's sense of family responsibility, whether he is a responsible man who knows how to be responsible, or throw all the family chores to you, which is far more important than material conditions.
03.
I think that there are many men in this world like Mr. Liu, when they have it, they don't feel how good the marriage is, but once they lose it, they find that they have lost the whole world.
Therefore, when you have it, you should cherish it.
You know, between husband and wife, everything can be discussed well, because it is a family. As long as husband and wife are loyal to each other, respect each other, and work together, happiness in marriage is not so unattainable.
But if this principle is destroyed, it is also destroyed by the family, and all happiness is destroyed.
end
Today's Topic:
What do you think can't be done between husband and wife, and it is most likely to have extramarital love?
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