Recently, some netizens broke the news that the women's locker room of the swimming pool can often see boys coming in.
The point is that these boys are not infants, but teenage children, staring at others in a group of girls.
This incident caused discomfort and complaints from other female customers in the locker room, but the mother did not think so, and even said loudly: "The child is still young, do not understand anything, you are afraid to see!" ”。
After that, the topic of "women bringing their sons in the locker room of the swimming pool every day" rushed to Weibo's hot search.
01 Behind this incident is the lack of gender education for boys by parents
It is understood that not all swimming pools have obvious signs prohibiting children of the opposite sex from entering.
However, despite the explicit prohibition or the dissuasion of the staff, there are still adults who turn a blind eye and go their own way.
For this matter, most netizens condemned one-sidedly: don't always use "the child is still young" as an excuse, the child does not understand things, is it not the mother who understands things?
A small number of netizens also believe that because many swimming pools do not have a third locker room, for safety reasons, mothers can only take their children with them. There is no way to choose.
Topics such as "bringing children of the opposite sex in and out of the locker room or toilet" are constantly emerging, but we found that incidents of bringing sons into the women's locker room seem to be more common than incidents of bringing daughters into the men's locker room.
Of course, part of the reason is that it is more common for mothers to bring their babies, which also reflects the lack of fathers in the role of parenting.
The deeper reason, parents think, my family is a boy, how can not suffer losses.
There are also many such cases in life.
For example, the same is to go swimming in the country river, the boy directly stripped naked, but has there ever been a girl who has seen naked swimming?
For example, many parents can't find a toilet when they go out, and they may let their children solve it on the side of the road. If it is a girl, the parents will also find something to cover up. But if it is a boy, it is generally casual.
For example, on the issue of early love for primary and secondary school students, the parents of girls will generally be very angry, and the parents of boys will only feel that my son really has the ability and does not suffer losses.
Because "I don't suffer losses anyway", I can do anything. But with the son in the locker room, does the child really not suffer losses?
02 Parents disregard the rules, which is not conducive to cultivating children's awareness of rules
Changing rooms and toilets belong to specific public areas where privacy is important. Allowing children of the opposite sex to enter is convenient for parents, but at the expense of the privacy and rights of others.
Don't always say, "The child is still young and doesn't know anything." ”
Psychology says that children have been aware of sex since they are two or three years old.
They will begin to notice the differences between their own bodies and others' bodies, and they will also observe the reproductive organs out of curiosity.
Bringing a child into the opposite sex dressing room or toilet is, in some cases, really an option.
Most people can understand and understand the mother's concerns about the safety of her child.
But this must not be a reason for big boys to enter and exit the opposite sex locker room at will, let alone an excuse for some parents to arbitrarily trample on public rules and disrupt public order.
In particular, when others clearly state that their privacy has been violated, parents should sincerely apologize and correct them in a timely manner.
Some of the boys' parents, on the other hand, did not think about how to educate their children, but instead sneered at the complainants.
As the saying goes, three years old looks small, seven years old looks old. Parents' acquiescence and connivance of their children's wrong behavior will eventually lead to bad consequences.
In the Indian film Revenge of a Mother, it is said: "I taught my daughter for twenty years to know how to protect herself, and you did not teach your son for a second not to hurt others." ”
Just because your son does not suffer losses, you cannot do nothing in your son's gender education.
The quality of parental education does not depend on whether there is culture, but on whether there is a correct outlook on life and the correct guidance of children to become an upright and responsible person.
03 Weaken your child's gender role and let the bad guys take advantage of it
Whether it is a son or a daughter, parents should educate their children about the correct gender: for example, which toilet the child should go to, which parts of the body are private, and cannot be touched by others.
If parents often take their children into private places such as opposite-sex locker rooms and toilets, it is bound to have a negative impact on their children.
First of all, when a child enters the opposite sex locker room or toilet, naked in front of the strange opposite sex, he will instinctively feel shame. This will bring a certain amount of psychological pressure to the child.
Some children will also have misunderstandings or curiosities about the understanding of the opposite sex after discovering the differences in the bodies of the two sexes, and even produce inferiority tendencies or gender cognitive biases, which will affect the child's personality development.
Children who should strengthen their awareness of gender roles are often placed in specific public areas of the opposite sex, which will misunderstand the positioning and boundaries of gender roles.
Children do not know how to respect the privacy of others, and do not understand that their private parts can not be displayed arbitrarily, which makes those pedophiles and sex criminals take advantage of the opportunity.
As a parent, don't think that boys don't matter, "not afraid of being watched" and "not suffering losses". Boys also need to be aware of privacy and learn to protect their privacy.
Child Sexual Abuse in China: A Meta-Analysis of 27 Studies counts 27 studies of child sexual abuse in China between 2002 and 2012 and concludes that 13.8 percent of Chinese boys and 15.3 percent of girls are sexually assaulted, making little difference.
It can be seen that boys may also be sexually assaulted, and it is not uncommon.
Compared with girls, cases of sexual assault of boys are more hidden and easier to ignore by parents.
Often parents mistakenly think that only girls need to pay attention to sexual safety education, boys do not have to worry, so they have never given children sexual education knowledge such as privacy parts protection.
As a result, the child was sexually assaulted by the class teacher in junior high school, and thought it was just a game between men.
Therefore, it is a very important quality to teach boys what privacy is, to know self-respect and self-love, and to know how to respect others.
The first step in cultivating this quality is to avoid taking boys in and out of exclusive women's places from the age of two or three.
In daily life, parents should also tell them that men and women are different with practical actions, clarify the boundaries between men and women, and let children establish a sense of boundaries.
04 Let the child take the initiative to maintain boundaries and distance
Finally, if you met a mom with a boy in the women's locker room, how would you fight back?
For example, I will help you open your mind.
If a person has a cold, he may not think of wearing a mask.
But if the people around him have a cold, he will immediately put on the mask and secretly stay away.
What's the point?
As a woman or a staff member, you tell the perpetrator's mother that this is disrespectful to women. She will most likely taunt you with words.
Because sensible parents will not take boys into the locker room at all, even if they are forced, they will never let boys scurry inside or look around.
So how do you fight back?
Go and tell the boy, how old are you, do you want your mother to take a bath? Shame is not ashamed. Do you still need your mother to accompany you to school? Hahaha.
Although this method does not sound very generous, it can only be surprisingly successful in the face of unreasonable people.
The louder you laugh, how embarrassed he is, because children love face the most. Then in the future, even if his mother brought him in, he would never dare to step in.