Author: Zhong Niannian
Original works, plagiarism must be investigated
01
Marriage is much more complicated than love, I think everyone who enters marriage, when hearing the word "marriage", must not think of the beauty of your mutual promises in the wedding hall, but the life surrounded by chai rice oil and salt over the years.
And what is life? Life is the business of every day, the accumulation of small and trivial things. It needs to rely on individual ideas and concepts, and it also needs to collide with tacit understanding and understanding between husband and wife.
Therefore, whether the three views between husband and wife are compatible is particularly important in the long day and night together. If the three views are not in harmony, every day in the marriage will be difficult to move forward.
And what bothers couples the most is that there is no right or wrong distinction between the three views. We can't stand on the commanding heights to blame each other, and can only sigh with regret: it's just not suitable.
My reader, Ms. Wu, said that if time could be turned back, she would most like to say to herself who had lost her mind when she fell in love at that time: "Don't get married!" ”
02
Ms. Wu finally plucked up the courage to divorce some time ago, and many people think that she is making a fuss, because there is no big problem between the two people, but only Ms. Wu herself knows that life really can't go on.
Speaking of which, the problem of Ms. Wu and her husband is also very common, that is, the problem of values in daily life. Ms. Wu is a woman who enjoys life, every month is a moonlight family, what to buy will never suppress their desires, let alone know what is careful calculation. Even if a bag had exceeded her base salary, she would find a way to buy it whenever she liked it.
Ms. Wu doesn't earn much money, just an ordinary office worker. For Ms. Wu, making money is what you spend. There is no need to save one or two thousand yuan, reduce the quality of life, and affect the mood of life.
However, Ms. Wu's husband is a man who will be careful about a little money. He will definitely bring his own water bottle to and from work every day, and he will not buy mineral water until he has to; he will shop around to buy anything, and his ability to bargain is unmatched; he once quarreled for four yuan and mobile human customer service for a long time, and he would hesitate to take a two-dollar bus.
In terms of money, Ms. Wu's husband's ability to "cut the door" is first-class. But Ms. Wu often said: "People live like this, what is the meaning of life?" ”
Therefore, they often quarrel, although the reasons for quarrels are small things, but in the end they will quarrel more and more intensely. Neither person can find a breakthrough to understand the other, so they can only ease their emotions through quarrels.
03
Many people may ask, the three views are so different, why can they still get married later?
In fact, it is also very easy to understand, because love can make people lose their minds. When in love, there are not so many reasons for the mutual attraction of two people, and falling in love is falling in love. At that time, Ms. Wu felt that her husband who cut the door was very frugal and very suitable for living a life; while Ms. Wu's husband felt that Ms. Wu had a free personality and was very attractive.
But when you really start to live your life, problems will gradually emerge, and the problems of the three views will begin to affect life. Both people want to change each other, but the idea of life has long been ingrained. Therefore, the result is that there are more and more contradictions, and the first opening is quarrels, and there are few peaceful days.
After all, getting married is dealing with countless small and trivial things in life. If the three views are not compatible, how can we live together? Maybe love can be divorced from reality and only talk about the wind and snow, but marriage is not OK, marriage is real life.
If only ordinary concepts are different, you can also seek common ground while reserving differences, and everyone should take a step back. But the difference between the three views is another matter, just think, if on the issue of the three views also require each step back, then the marriage has become a separate one, how can it be considered a husband and wife? Without the integration of life, the emotions will naturally become weaker and weaker.
04
Therefore, Ms. Wu, who has been divorced for half a month, said to me: "If you want to get married, other aspects are not suitable and can be discussed, but the three views are not compatible, I advise you not to get married!" ”
This is the lesson that Ms. Wu has spent ten years to learn, and there is a lack of "three views fit" between husband and wife, and there is no way to get together no matter what. In fact, others are right, there is no big problem between them. But then again, considering Ms. Wu's own situation, can such a day really go on?
Therefore, before marriage, do not only focus on the external conditions such as family background and body appearance, but also consider the personality and three views of the two people. After all, what really supports you through a long marriage is your three views. If the three views do not coincide, sooner or later the marriage will break down.
Women should remember that even if a man has a good character and loves you again, but you don't have the same three views, don't marry him, because you never know what kind of contradictions you will have after marriage.
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Do you think that couples with different views can last a long time?
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