Cao Cao was a great poet, military strategist, and statesman of the late Eastern Han Dynasty, but these glorious titles could not hide the fact that he was a man of affair. According to historical records, Cao Cao's wives and concubines had a total of thirteen famous concubines, some of whom he himself was marrying, and some of whom he had "collected" from the war. Among these wives and concubines, there was only one that he could not forget when he was dying, that is, his original wife Ding.
Lady Ding was Cao Cao's first wife and Cao Cao's main chamber. In the ancient Chinese traditional society, the status of the main chamber is very high, and the first son born to the main room is called the eldest son, which is the family successor stipulated in the ancient traditional society. Unfortunately, although Lady Ding occupied the position of the main chamber, she did not give birth to a son and a half daughter without Cao Cao. Later, Cao Cao took Lady Liu as a concubine, and Lady Liu bore Cao Cao a son, and this child was Cao Cao's first son, who was Cao Ang.
Although Cao Ang was Cao Cao's eldest son, his mother was Cao Cao's concubine. If Lady Ruding could give Birth to Cao Cao a son in the future, Then Cao Ang would not be able to become Cao Cao's heir. According to the history books, Mrs. Ding should be infertile. Therefore, after Lady Liu's death, Lady Ding adopted Cao Ang. Cao Ang's adoption by Lady Ding is equivalent to Cao Cao having an heir, and Lady Ding also regards Cao Ang as if she were her own.
Lady Ding's adoption of Cao Ang laid the groundwork for the later rupture between her and Cao Cao. Above we mentioned that Cao Cao had a lifelong temperament, and when he was fighting outside, he still did not forget to recruit women to expand the "harem". When Cao Cao conquered Zhang Xiu, who was holding Wancheng, Zhang Xiu saw that Cao Cao's people were numerous and surrendered to Cao Cao. Shortly after Zhang Xiu's surrender, Cao Cao's first job should be to appease Zhang Xiu. However, he took Zhang Xiu's aunt as a concubine, and Zhang Xiu was so ashamed and indignant that he immediately launched his subordinates to defect to Cao Cao. During this rebellion, Cao Cao was caught off guard by Zhang Xiu, and Cao Cao's eldest son Cao Ang and the fierce general Dianwei both died on the battlefield.
Cao Cao was naturally very saddened by Cao Ang's death, but what embarrassed him most was how to confess to Lady Ding after he returned. After Cao Cao returned, he was indeed reprimanded by Lady Ding. Lady Ding not only cried day and night at home, but also accused Cao Ang of not remembering him after cao ang's death. Cao Cao's crying about Lady Ding could only tolerate himself at first, after all, he took care of his own losses, and later Lady Ding became more and more noisy, and Cao Cao sent her back to her mother's house in a fit of anger.
Cao Cao's intention in sending Lady Ding back to her mother's house was to hope that Lady Ding would calm down at her mother's house, and he still had feelings for Lady Ding. Later, after some time, Cao Cao personally went to Lady Ding's mother's house hoping to bring her back. Cao Cao came to Lady Ding's home, and Lady Ding's family Ding far away called "Gongzhi". Mrs. Ding was weaving cloth at the time, and when she heard the call of the family Ding, she still did not get up to greet her. Cao Cao had no choice but to come to Lady Ding in person and stroke her back and say, "Come home with me, okay?" Mrs. Ding was silent again. Cao Cao understood that Lady Ding was already disheartened with him, so he sighed: "This time it is really a farewell." When Cao Cao was leaving, he also specially told the Ding family to allow Lady Ding to remarry. The Ding family, fearful of Cao Cao's power, ultimately did not dare to marry Lady Ding to someone else.
Why did Lady Ding have such a crush on Cao Cao? Here we first tell the growth process of Cao Ang, Cao Ang's birth mother Lady Liu died early after giving birth to a son and a daughter for Cao Cao. It can be said that Cao Ang was raised by Lady Ding, and although there is no blood relationship between Lady Ding and Cao Ang, the mother-son relationship between the two is very strong. For Cao Cao, Cao Ang's death was certainly painful, but he still had many sons. For Lady Ding, she only had one son, Cao Ang, so it is understandable from a mother's point of view that Lady Ding did not forgive Cao Cao later.
Moreover, there is a special relationship between Mrs. Ding and Cao Ang, and we will first go back to when Mrs. Ding adopted Cao Ang. Why did Lady Ding adopt Cao Ang? One of the most critical reasons here is that Mrs. Ding cannot have children, and in ancient times, when "mothers rely on children to be expensive", a woman could not have children, which was an extremely unfortunate thing for the woman herself. Although Lady Ding could not give birth, she adopted Cao Ang. In this way, Mrs. Ding not only had her own "descendants" but also consolidated the position of the main chamber. For Cao Ang, he became Cao Cao's legitimate heir after being adopted by Lady Ding. Therefore, Mrs. Ding's adoption of Cao Ang is a "win-win" cooperative relationship for Mrs. Ding and Cao Ang. Cao Ang's death broke this "win-win" relationship.
Cao Ang's death rendered Lady Ding's position as the head of the chamber useless. Lady Ding did not leave Cao Cao at this time, and in the future, when Cao Cao made other sons as heirs, her position would still be difficult to protect. Therefore, Lady Ding's departure from Cao Cao may not be her own deliberate decision.
References: Romance of the Three Kingdoms, Wei Luo