Text\Azale
Former Intel CEO Grove said: "Effective communication depends on the communicator's full grasp of the topic, not the sweetness of the wording." ”
The key to communication is that both parties to the communication can maintain interest in the same topic. Communication is not about suppressing, but about seeking the same in the different.
Effective communication, following these 3 rules:
01 Make the other person feel important
"People are so eager for the approval of others that they go crazy."
Rockefeller agrees with this.
In a letter to his son, Rockefeller put it this way: "Salaries and bonuses are quite tempting, but for some people money does not motivate them to serve, but attention can achieve this goal." ”
Everyone craves to be valued, someone who is considered valuable by others. Therefore, winning the respect of others is the meaning of our struggle for life.
To make his subordinates happy, Rockefeller liked to leave a note on the employee's desk to show his gratitude to him.
For Rockefeller, the handwritten words of gratitude that took a minute or two to write might soon be forgotten. However, for subordinates, it may be because of this sentence that they have inspired each other for many years.
As Rockefeller himself put it, "No company employee will remember the bonus he received five years ago, but there are many people who will always remember the praise of their employers, and I will not hesitate to express my gratitude." ”
Psychologists believe that respect is the psychological need of everyone. Rich or poor, no matter how high or low, anyone wants to occupy an important place in the hearts of others.
Therefore, in interpersonal communication, being able to make others feel important is the first key to opening the atrium of the other party.
02 Find common ground between both sides of the communication
People like to socialize with people who have the same or similar interests.
Even friends who have been together for a long time can easily go their separate ways if they disagree because of something. Therefore, in the first meeting with people or in the future, finding similarities is an indispensable part.
Try to avoid contradictions.
Drucker, the father of modern management, said: "One must know what to say, one must know when to say, one must know to whom to say, one must know how to say." ”
Carnegie cites the story of a great salesman in his book.
A couple has been married for ten years and still has no children. Therefore, the hostess raised several puppies and loved the puppies as children.
Many salesmen came to the house to sell goods, and the hostess was very angry, and only one salesman who sold cars was favored by this wife.
The salesman's name was Joe Girard, the greatest salesman in the world.
Other salesmen come up and sell their products, but Joe Girard isn't. As soon as he came up, the first thing he talked to the hostess was her puppy, which attracted the attention and love of the lady.
Joe Girard has a dog of his own, so he can quickly get into a speculative conversation with the lady. The most important thing, of course, is not that Joe Girard has a dog, but that he has a pair of eyes that are good at discovery.
"The best way to impress people's hearts is to talk to the other person about what they are most interested in and cherish, that is, to do what they like."
In fact, this "vote for what it likes" is also a point of common interest to both sides of the communication.
When both parties are interested in the same topic, they will have the motivation to communicate and deepen each other's feelings in the process of conversation.
So, if you want to have a deep relationship with someone, you must first try to understand what the other person is interested in, which is the second key to opening the other person's heart.
03 Learn to think in empathy
If a person is accustomed to encountering things and blaming others first, then he loses the opportunity to grow. Courage to take responsibility is a sign of maturity.
In the early years, when Fok Yingdong founded Fong's Real Estate Co., Ltd., an employee made a big mistake and thought that he would be punished.
However, instead of blaming the employee, Fok Yingdong reflected deeply on his mistakes.
He said at the staff meeting: "This employee did not do well because I, the boss, misplaced him in an inappropriate position, so that he could not play to his strengths." ”
In a word, it touched everyone present.
"If you blame yourself with the heart of a person who blames others, you will be widowed; if you forgive others with a heart of forgiveness, you will give it all."
If you demand yourself by the standards of others, then the faults will be reduced; if you forgive others with the mentality of forgiveness, you will have more and more friends.
The so-called empathetic thinking does not make us start from the perspective of others. Rather, it tells us how to review ourselves when we encounter things, find reasons in ourselves, and improve our abilities, thinking, realms and patterns.
Mr. Yang Dai said: The world is its own and has nothing to do with others.
This sentence tells us that when encountering things, it is useless to blame others, and only by changing your own thinking can you find the best solution.
In communication, learning to understand others and speaking in a way that others can understand is the third key to opening the other person's heart.
The English philosopher Hume said: "In the art of intercourse and conversation, there is nothing more pleasing to people than to pay tribute to each other or to be courteous, it makes us abandon our intentions and hobbies in front of each other, restrain and hide the very natural self-righteousness and arrogance in people's hearts." ”
On the surface, communication is simply talking, but in essence, communication reflects the qualities of the individual.
The purpose of communication is not to cause disputes, but to solve problems; the result of communication is not self-concern, but to express views and exchange opinions.
Good communication will always bring about a deep understanding of each other; and malicious communication will only make the misunderstanding deeper and deeper, and the relationship will become more and more distant.
Zi Yue: "If you do three people, you will have my teacher; choose what is good and follow it, and change it from those who are not good."
How a person faces others ultimately proves what kind of person he really is.
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