We are shaky over the years, and age flows through the water. In the end, it will still step through the pain of ignorance and cowardice to be recognized.
Everyone grows up with tears, and I'm no exception.
I carefully held the little fruit of the first growth, as if it were a newborn baby, and I was afraid to melt in my mouth, and I was afraid of falling in the palm of my hand. But I know, this is only temporary.
From the end of 2019 to the end of 2021, it seems to be a flash. It seems like it was just yesterday.
It seems like a lot of things have happened because I feel like I've really changed.
It was as if nothing had happened, because I couldn't remember much of what had happened.
It is the mission of snow to make the world quiet for a while, and to let the light shine in is the evidence that you save yourself
For more than a year, I have experienced what I have never thought of in my life, and I have lived myself as someone I hate.
Arrogant, rude, arrogant, and unspeakable. It's like a neurosis in someone else's mouth.
I think I'm really a crazy person, with an inherent paranoia that no one can wake up.
Whatever the consequences of this paranoia, I accept them all.
Loneliness is the evidence we left behind when we frantically searched for me
During this time, I clearly saw the selfishness, greed and evil in my own human nature.
I selfishly think that feelings should be you coming and going.
I selfishly thought that because I was weak, because I had never been loved, I deserved more attention and love.
I selfishly thought that because I didn't know how to love and be loved, I could be tolerated and could be held by hand.
Later, I learned that all kinds of thoughts were extremely selfish. They are all shackles that they impose on outsiders.
I saw the greed in my own humanity, greedy for warmth, wisdom and strength from others.
Experience and grow
And never ask if anyone else would like to.
I also saw the evil in my own human nature, and I had viciously hoped that the pain I experienced would happen to others.
I gradually became indifferent and no longer cared about other people's disasters. I didn't even bother to say words of comfort.
I watched others say heart-warming reminders, and I coldly said only the emotionless hard bang bang "be careful" three words.
I even went around in my head, hoping that someone else's carelessness would happen more seriously.
I was amazed at my transformation.
I was scared to cry and bandage people when I encountered similar things in the past, and I really judged the two of them.
Later, I left that place. Because I used to be so "evil".
Holding out in the cold wins once.
Later, I went back to my hometown and went back to lying quietly in my nest. Follow your mother out early and return late.
Until life forced me to leave again.
I want to go home for the time when I have the most to ask for and have no luxury. And leaving means breaking.
But I know that when people grow up to a certain age, they have to support their own heavens. Give yourself a home.
Sometimes I hate my sensitivity and easily perceive things that are not good for me.
But I also gradually accepted those, and I understood the truth that it was difficult to do.
Growth carries tears, and tears accompany growth.
I gradually accepted that the helplessness and loss of life is the norm, even if it tears the chest, even if it is earth-shattering, it is only a corner in the universe. Also accepted.
I told myself, don't kill yourself, don't be depressed, even if the whole world gives up on you, don't give up on yourself.
In that almost neurotic affliction, I forged a suit of armor for myself.
I clearly see the selfishness, greed and evil of human nature.
I learned to think of myself as an outsider. See yourself from the perspective of a bystander.
Growth is an eternal subject, and life is like this
Growth is an eternal issue. Protect the wings that grow at the scars, take advantage of the fact that your wings are not full, and feel the shock brought by the wind and rain.
Only by experiencing the washing of wind and rain can our thinking and cognition be sublimated.
Protect yourself, grow up slowly, and wait for the encounter.
Thank you for reading and paying attention, and I hope my words bring you warmth.