Have you ever had a fiery youth? Or is having it.
20 years is enough for children to grow up, for boys to become middle-aged, and for middle-aged to produce gray hair.
With all my pen and ink, I can't describe the feelings that this group of teenagers brought to me 20 years ago.
They were brilliant; they sang wildly.
They longed, blossomed, confused, withered.
Those eyes, hiding the beautiful desires that a vigorous life should have, tell the inescapable contradiction between ideals and reality.
Plain trees and rice paddies.
In 1999, Park Shu's first album was released, and the company found a rice field to take promotional photos.
Xiao Pu in the photo:
Loose black pants, slim white t-shirt and two blue stripes;
Golden lights, ripe rice and a 25-year-old face;
Clear eyes, dead nights and looming lights.
At that time, he had just lost weight successfully, the first album of his life had been completed, and he had more friends like Gao Xiaosong around him, not as taciturn as when he was not yet in the industry;
At that time, he was worried, looking at the 10 songs in the first album "I Went to 2000", and he didn't know if anyone would like it;
At that time, he stood on the field of hope and looked up at the sky, just like the rice field in front of him, waiting for the arrival of the harvest.
Zheng Jun and Smoke.
In 1999, Zheng Jun had become famous, and "Back to Lhasa" and "There Is No Unbroken Feast in the World" were sung all over the streets.
Old Zheng in the photo: curled up by the dark wall, holding a cigarette in his left hand, long hair and shoulders; a beam of light shines, looking at it, calm and powerful, pulled by desire.
At that time, he signed a contract with a big-name company in Hong Kong and enjoyed the treatment of the stars and the moon;
At that time, he was the closest to the rock star in the mainland, like a giant beast that broke out of a cage, angry, wandering skeleton, profligate, and singing night and night.
At that time, he lived the dream of all boys and girls.
As he sang in the song: Bloom, bloom, bloom...
Xu Wei with long hair.
In 1999, Xu Wei had a very unsatisfactory life, and the music gave him unlimited hope, but it ended in great disappointment. Everyone said Xu Wei you can do it, but after the album was published, the market response was average.
Lao Xu in the photo: black and yellow intertwined silhouette, long hair, denim shirt, mottled walls, yellowed face.
At that time, the songs he wrote for others were all on fire, but his album was not ideal;
At that time, he sang pure, heart-rending rock and roll, and his desire was so fiercely extinguished that even eating became a problem;
At that time, he had no choice but to return to Xi'an from Beijing and rely on Prozac to resist depression.
"Love is like a flower, it never opens, desire grows like a weed, grows like crazy."
Dou Wei and Faye Wong.
In 1999, Dou Wei happened to be 30 years old, and this year his love affair with Faye Wong came to an end.
At the beginning of March, the two performed "don't break my heart" on the same stage, which was also rumored to be a good story, and at the end of March, Faye Wong went to the law firm to unilaterally sign a separation agreement, and the divorce process officially began.
The breakdown of the marriage did not happen overnight, and the two went farther and farther in the past few years.
Although Faye Wong is a singer, the music is not all at all, because of her busy work, it is impossible to accompany Dou Wei to live in the courtyard where there is no toilet.
And Dou Wei, the more music is more and more artistic, the more it is done, the more niche it is, and the market does not buy it at all.
It was at that time that Dou Wei began to make pure music albums, the first of which was the soundtrack for the independent film "My Favorite Snow Day".
The world will always remember the picture of Dou Wei smacking his mouth and looking at him with love, when they lived together, tinkering with music, like gods and immortals, ignoring everyone's eyes.
But how long does one singer who is wrapped up in the market and the other an artist who follows his heart last?
Jia Hongsheng and the dragon.
Jia Hongsheng is the most concentrated reaction to the contradiction between ideal and reality 20 years ago. In the photo, he is naked, with his arms outstretched, his head out of the window, his eyes fixed on the sky, chilling.
He wanted to jump, eager to break free of the world and fly in the wind.
He said that there was no hope in life, and every day he could only look out the window, hoping to find an answer.
He said that he suddenly saw a black cloud coming towards me from the south. Slowly it became the shape of a dragon and grew two eyes.
The dragon is himself, the abstract embodiment of wisdom and reason.
He told the dragon that he was an actor, loved rock and roll, loved lennon and robert plant, had wanted to be a great actor and a great band.
Later, the dragon told him that you are nothing, just a person, you love to eat noodles, eggs, love to wear fashionable clothes, you can cry or laugh, and when you can't stand it, you can ask for someone.
What is true and what is hypocrisy?
Time whistles by.
The boys grew older and we got older.
After the release of Park Shu's first album, "Those Flowers" and "Birch Forest" became the green Bible.
After that, he and Zhou Xun filmed "When the Flowers Bloomed" and fell in love, and career love blossomed twice.
But the huge reputation came like a tidal wave, and he had to participate in the Spring Festival Gala, to compete with reality, and began to be depressed and missing. After escaping the hustle and bustle, he spent a decade slowly adjusting, and in 2014 he sang "Ordinary Road" to make an official comeback.
Image from Visual China
Xu Wei returned to Xi'an for two years, and depression made him think that anger could not solve the problem. He went to climb mountains, to Tibet, to feel the love and warmth of the world.
On the second album, he calmly wrote "Hometown" and "Warmth", and also sang the old song "Persistence" written to Tian Zhen.
In 2002, "Blue Lotus" was released, and Xu Wei gained his fame. Maybe it's hard to be a rock lead singer, but to continue to write and sing is the best explanation for yourself.
After 1999, Zheng Jun spent nearly 10 years in a daze, and he never found out what he really wanted.
Released in 2007, "Slave Effort" sang his own voice: "Always work hard, like a slave slave slave." ”
This dilemma was not slowly solved until 2 years later, he began to meditate, practice yoga, desire slowly dissolved, found inner peace.
After 3 years of divorce from Faye Wong, Dou Wei married Gao Yuan. Living together is completely different from falling in love, especially when you have children.
Dou Wei's niche music is too difficult to feed a family, the family is tight, the quarrel is constant, and in the end, the beautiful love is still beaten by the cruel reality.
After Jia Hongsheng finished filming "Yesterday", he still did not come out. Finally, on the afternoon of July 5, 2010, he fell from a building and died at the age of 43.
If youth is a time scale, then it must be the period in life where the gap between ideals and reality is the largest.
Some of these boys are still singing, some are half-entering the Buddha's gate, some are immortals, and some are dead.
Their eyes are a sample of the youth of an era, recording moments full of affection;
The future they look forward to, the suffering they experience, is no different from you and me.
At that time, we were just starting out, rampaged, experienced hardships, and had no regrets;
At that time, we looked at the newspaper of the day, listened to simple songs, did stupid things, and loved the wrong people.
Today, this flower that grows in the cracks of reality has become the gold in our memories, with the laughter and tears of youth, blown away by the wind and scattered in the end of the world.